How to Write Everything

David Quantick

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2014
• ISBN:
  9781783196029
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Medios de comunicación y artes escénicas
• Subtopic: Escritura de guiones de cine

How To Write Everything is the ultimate writer's handbook. It tells you about every aspect of writing, from having an idea to getting the idea out into the world and getting paid for it, too. It covers everything from journalism to screen-writing, from speeches to sketches, from sitcoms to novels. With thirty years' experience as an award-winning script-writer, journalist, author and broadcaster David Quantick is ideally suited, as a writer, to write this definitive writer's guide to writing... everything. David Quantick is part of the writing team for HBO's multi-award winning show Veep. He has recently won the 2015 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Comedy Series and Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

Chapter Eight

Plays

‘The only thing I get from the theatre is a sore arse,’ John Lennon told Joe Orton, who may have read other layers into that somewhat Puritan statement. I tend to sympathise with Lennon. I am aware that without plays, we wouldn’t have any form of scripted drama or comedy; that plays (particularly those of Shakespeare, you know) have enriched our lives and our vocabularies; and that theatre is both cultural heritage and cultural future.

That said, I don’t really go to the theatre. Some people don’t like musicals because they can’t accept that a person might just break off talking and burst into song. I find it weird to see a bunch of people in make-up standing on a platform and shouting at each other. I also wonder why, in an age when story-telling in films and television is often streamlined and beautifully plotted, plays seem so rambling. Scenes don’t advance the plot, characters bang on about nothing, and stories which wouldn’t trouble a thirty minute episode of Emmerdale go on and on for three hours. The arse is indeed severely tested.

So I thought it would be a bit unfair to you, the reader, who might want to write a play, to pretend that I knew anything about the theatre. I asked two people to assist me. The first is playwright Tanika Gupta, MBE, who describes herself as someone who writes ‘plays for the stage mainly but I also write dramas for radio and film. I used to write a lot for television as well but not so much these days.’ During the last fifteen years Tanika has written over twenty stage plays that have been produced at theatres including the Royal Court, National Theatre, Young Vic, and for the Royal Shakespeare Company. She’s also written thirty radio plays for the BBC.

DQ: What did you like about theatre?

TG: I love the theatre because it’s LIVE! I have always enjoyed going to the theatre because I like the smell and atmosphere of it. I like being able to see actors up close and think there’s a certain magical quality to a night at the theatre. I like straight plays as well as musicals; Shakespeare as well as new plays, but most of all I enjoy watching live performances and seeing stories unfold. I also like the fact that theatre is still surprising and inspiring whilst I find a lot of television formulaic and unsurprising.

What are the main differences for a writer between a theatre script and any other script?

The main difference is that there is nowhere to hide. In film you can cut to another scene or in TV it’s all close up/midshots but in theatre, you have a live audience who you have to entertain for a couple of hours. The words are everything and the actors and directors rely on a good script to interpret. You have to think of character, dialogue and structure as well as dramatic action and subtext. I think it’s difficult to write a good play and people often underestimate how complex a craft it is.

In theatre, I would say that the status of a writer is very high. We get to choose directors (with the theatre that is) and sit in all castings with the director. We also attend rehearsals and generally it is considered very bad form to change a script without the writer’s consent.

In radio drama, it’s more or less the same but in television and film it’s more of a director’s medium. They still need a script written, though writers are often not consulted and scripts are changed without consent.

What are the main obstacles to getting something made and made well?

It’s very difficult at the moment to get plays on. Money is of course the big factor. Or rather, lack of it. It affects everything from theatre’s abilities to commission, to the calibre of the director, to the number of actors. A play produced at the National Theatre will have the best sound, set design, actors and lights. A play made in a pub venue will have amazingly dedicated people working there who are good but they will not be able to put on the sorts of plays the National can.

I would also say that ‘The Gatekeepers’ (as in the artistic directors of theatres) are often from a particular class and race. Their tastes control what goes on their stage and it is often, in my opinion, narrow and eurocentric. Conservative attitudes are a big obstacle in getting something made.

What do you wish you knew when you were starting out?

It was probably best I didn’t know how tough it was going to be! It would definitely have put me off.

What should be in every show?

A good joke which makes everyone laugh.

How valuable is an original idea?

They say that all ideas have been done before and Shakespeare did them all. What makes an idea original is one’s voice. My idea about a love triangle for example, would be very different from the same idea by another writer. All original ideas are of course valuable!

How much of a script (when finally made) is yours?

That’s a good question. My first reaction would have been to say it’s all mine but actually, thinking about it, theatre is collaborative and so whilst the script is all mine – the resulting production is a joint venture.

Pros and cons of: actors.

Pros: Without actors, there would be no plays. They are beautiful people willing to be brave onstage, to speak your words and lift it off the page.

Cons: The truth? They can be a bit needy and self-obsessed.

Pros and cons of: directors.

Pros: Without directors breathing life into the words on a page and interpreting them for actors and crew, we writers would be lost. They are incredibly inspiring conductors who know how to make a play work on the stage.

Cons: Oh blimey. They can be a bit bossy and power-mad sometimes. But then that’s part of their job!

Pros and cons of: producers.

Pros: I have worked with some fantastic producers who are brilliant at putting teams together, galvanising everyone into action and getting a show off the ground.

Cons: Producers often have a lot of financial pressure on them to get a show making money and that can affect relationships with the ‘creatives’.

Pros and cons of: writers.

Pros: Writers can be funny, inventive, collaborative, brilliant and original.

Cons: We can sometimes be over-protective of our work, defensive and sometimes vulnerable.

Give me an example of something that can be done on the stage well but less so in other media.

There are many things, but for me the magic of stage is in speech to a live audience.

Speeches delivered by a character onstage work a lot better than in film. In the theatre, you can enjoy word play and the nuances, power and emotion an actor brings to the piece. ‘Playing to the Gods’, a bit of circus clowning onstage – all this is the stuff of Shakespeare and works well onstage. In film, it’s more about pictures and in TV, if someone suddenly started making a big speech, we would say it was ‘too theatrical’.

Think of Obama’s speech when he first got the Presidency. Such a historic moment! So many people in the audience listening. Or the opening Olympics ceremony in London. I saw them both on the TV but I know people who were present at both events and they said the effect of being in the audience was magical, grand and made the person feel special and privileged to have been part of the event. That’s what theatre gives us which no other medium can.

Passion, excitement and the need for a good joke – all qualities I’ve found in my good friend Joss Bennathan. Joss is a theatre director. He describes his job as taking a play ‘from page to stage and making it work in three-dimensions, in front of an audience.’

At the time of writing, Joss has nearly finished directing his 49^th production and is about to embark on the 50^th. His work encompasses a vast and diverse range of plays, from 15th-century tragedy and 16th-century comedy, to the British premieres of new American plays, from the louche world of 19th-century Paris to the repressed world of 1950s genteel poverty. And a musical version of The A-Team.

His work has been listed twice in amongst the Independent’s ‘Best Five Plays In London’, his last London production was described in The Times as ‘majestic’ and ‘overwhelming’, and many of Britain’s leading drama schools keep inviting him back to direct their students. He’s an experienced script editor and his books for Drama teachers include Making Theatre: The Frazzled Drama Teacher’s Guide To Devising. He has curated and co-ordinated several festivals of devised theatre.

Joss concludes the CV he wrote for me with these words: ‘so all in all, he knows how to deconstruct a script and how to construct one. Which is what you need to know if you want to write plays.’

DQ: Describe what you do, exactly.

JB: I direct plays. Sometimes I produce them too. What’s the difference? The director is in charge of the creative process while the producer provides the wherewithal, whether that be structure, framework, venue and/or cash, to enable that process. But it is – or should be – a collaborative relationship so a director may well be involved in aspects of the overall production process and vice versa.

Directing involves far more than just assembling a group of actors with the right chemistry and bringing a script from page to stage. A director often needs to be a bizarre combination of nursemaid, firefighter and sergeant major: cajoling, persuading, reassuring, challenging, and demanding as required. It’s like spinning plates. You also need an efficient deputy stage manager (that’s the one who’s in the rehearsal studio) with social skills, as well as an inspired design team. Oh, and effective publicity. No point in all that work if nobody comes to see the production!

When did you realise you wanted to make a living from writing?

I’ve written a lot. I’ve written two source books for Drama teachers and edited a third. I’ve written numerous education resource packs for various plays and theatre companies. I’ve written more grant applications than I care to remember, to raise money to fund work. Give me a commission, a fee and a deadline (above all, give me a cast iron reason, ‘Your house will be repossessed and your children taken into care’ if you fail to meet the deadline) and I’ll write for you. But, despite the fact I’ve earned significant amounts of money writing, I’m not a writer, because I don’t burn to write.

Many years ago, I was at university with a woman who is now one of Britain’s leading playwrights. I remember, in one of those drunken student union bar conversations, she announced that, if she was in prison and had nothing to write with or on, she’d be scratching words onto the bricks of her cell walls with her fingernails. I was impressed by her passionate conviction. But I remember thinking, ‘Nah … that’s not me. I wouldn’t do that. I’d be planning my escape.’ My preferred form of creativity is more convivial. I like being in a roomful of people. Writing is too solitary for me.

What did you like about theatre?

I like theatre because it is an ephemeral experience. A performance can’t be captured or replicated. If you watch a film twice, it’s the same both times. If you go to see a production twice, it will be different each time because it’s happening in the here and now. Jean-Louis Barrault (film buffs will know he played the white faced mime Baptiste in Les Enfants du Paradis) once said that, ‘Theatre is the art of the present moment’. That’s why my company is called Present Moment because theatre happens now – wherever and whenever ‘now’ is. Film doesn’t do that. TV doesn’t do that. A film or a TV programme is an artefact. Theatre is a communal experience: it needs an audience to complete the circle. Not just their connection with what’s onstage but with each other. Those connections and their responses mean that every performance is a unique variation of the production.

If the question is also about making theatre – the process that leads to that ephemeral, communal experience – then I like being part of a team. Well, more honestly, I like leading a team. I’m good at getting a disparate group of people to work with a sense of common purpose, by creating a sense of ensemble where everyone, regardless of the size of part or the backstage task, feels that their contribution is valued and essential to the success of the whole. Arguably, that’s the basis of good management in pretty much any situation. The difference is that, when making theatre, you are creating a world. I like that, too. I’m a bit of...