A Kind of People

Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781786829283
• eBook ISBN: 9781786829290
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Ethnic Studies
• Index: Social Sciences

"In this country, you go as far as they let you." Friday night and someone's having a party. It seems like a laugh, but not everyone's having fun. Nicky and Anjum want their kids to get into the best schools, and Gary is feeling the pressure after applying for a promotion. What happens when not everyone will get what they want? Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti's new play about a group of working-class friends dreaming of a better life for their children questions the dream of class mobility, and what happens when the odds are stacked against you.

SCENE ONE

Friday. Late September. Evening. Large kitchen diner in Gary and Nicky’s Council Flat. The place could do with a facelift but it’s clean. Chaotic but not unpleasing. NICKY is making samosas with ANJUM at an old Ikea dining table. ANJUM wears a hijab. Agitated MO hovers.

MO: (Indicates phone.) Not one of them’s replied. Not a single one!

NICKY: What?

MO: They should learn to speak English.

ANJUM: I thought you were going home.

MO: There’s no excuse. I mean we learned English.

ANJUM: We were born here.

MO: My mum brought up seven kids and she managed to learn.

ANJUM: Mo, your mum can barely read and write.

MO: (Affronted.) You could quote Shakespeare to my mum and she might not reply…

NICKY: (Amused.) Shakespeare?

MO: …but she’d understand every syllable!

ANJUM: No she wouldn’t!

MO: We’ll see. (Finds a number on phone.)

KAREN enters.

KAREN: (Shouts.) Let’s get mashed up!

NICKY: What are you doing here?

KAREN: (Hands NICKY a bottle of Prosecco.) Mark said you’re having a party. (Makes herself at home.)

NICKY: (To KAREN.) I don’t think so, Gary’s taking him out.

MO: (To KAREN.) Did you know, not one of those parents replied to my doodle poll? (Dials number.)

KAREN: Really?

ANJUM: Loads of parents haven’t come forward.

MO: Let’s just say if my messages were signed John Smith, we might have a few bottles of Polski vodka for the raffle.

KAREN: (To NICKY.) I told Mark we fancy cocktails.

NICKY: I’m working the early shift tomorrow.

KAREN: Fuck the early shift. (They both laugh.)

MO: (Into phone/italics indicate broken Urdu.) Hello Ummi…Yes…Yes…

KAREN: Make us a coffee Nic.

NICKY: (Teasing.) Make it yourself.

KAREN: Please!

NICKY: Thought we were getting mashed.

KAREN: Yeah, in a minute. MO: (Into phone/italics indicate broken Urdu.) Mum, I just want to ask you something…) (To the others.) Give me a Shakespeare quote.

ANJUM: What?

KAREN: I wandered lonely as a cloud…

NICKY: No, that’s someone else.

MO: Got it! (Into phone/broken Urdu/accent.) Ummi…what would you say if I said ‘To be or not to be, that is the question’… Yes. Do you know what I’m saying? Yes, yes…Thanks Mum, you’re the best. (Phone off.) Understood every single word!

ANJUM: You should have asked if Zaki’s in bed.

MO: He’ll be shattered. Squad swimming tonight.

NICKY: Impressive.

MO: Zaki usually comes last.

ANJUM: How’s work Karen?

KAREN: Shit. Then I had to pick my car up from the mechanic. He started telling me some fuckery about my alternator. That claart is a thief. (Observes NICKY making instant coffee.) What you doing?

NICKY: Coffee.

KAREN: Not instant! I can’t drink that…piss. I got you that cafetiere.

NICKY: Dunno where it is.

KAREN: You wanna buy one of them machines. Then guests can choose from espresso, cappuccino, macchiato…

MO: Ours has got a cup heater and a milk frother.

KAREN: Now, that is what I’m talking about! I’m coming round your house! (They share a laugh.) Fuck it, open the Prosecco.

MO: I fancy a Prosecco, Nicky.

ANJUM: You’re supposed to be getting the fair organised.

MO: I’m doing it.

ANJUM: You said you’d be teetotal this month.

MO: I can have one!

ANJUM: If you get drunk, I’m not telling your mum you’ve got Salmonella again.

KAREN: Let the man live Anj! How’s Zaki?

ANJUM: We’re waiting for his results.

MO: It’s a killer.

NICKY: (To KAREN.) He did the exam with Ronnie.

MO: (Checking phone.) Right, we need new face paints. And brushes. Paper plates, toys for the luc...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Scene One
• Scene Two
• Scene Three
• Scene Four
• Scene Five
• Scene Six
• Scene Seven
• Scene Eight
• Scene Nine
• Scene Ten
• Scene Eleven
• Epilogue