Beginners

Tim Crouch

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781786823519
• eBook ISBN: 9781786823526
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Beginners tells the story of three families trapped in a waterlogged holiday cottage over summer. The children are bored. The adults are down the pub. So far so normal. An extraordinary Easter Holiday show for everyone who has ever wanted to be understood.

Four beds.

The adult actors are all in their forties at least – except SANDY, who can be any adult age.

The performances of the adults are very ‘adult’.

To start with, the children in this show are like the adults’ daemons. They can be sensed but they can’t properly be seen by the adult actors. They slowly take over the adult performances.

The sound of rain.

JOY is onstage as the audience enter.

Onstage is also a nine-year-old girl (CHILD JOY) who looks a bit like the actor playing JOY. She is wearing the child-like equivalent of what JOY is wearing. JOY and CHILD JOY do not connect with each other.

The sound of a car on a gravel drive. Car doors slamming.

JOY removes a realistic-looking gun from her jacket pocket. She listens.

CHILD JOY leaves.

In one swift move JOY hides behind her bed – visible to the audience, invisible to everyone else.

SANDY enters. Followed by LUCY with a pram and a suitcase.

LUCY gets out her phone and looks at it. Tension. Rain.

LUCY: (Calling off.) Jen. JEN.

What’s the password?

The wifi, Jen, the INTERNET.

SANDY looks at LUCY.

What is it?

SANDY goes towards where JOY is hiding.

JOY and the SANDY look at each other.

Sandy?

JOY puts her fingers to her lips.

SANDY steps up onto one of the beds.

Get here. HERE.

SANDY returns to LUCY. LUCY hits SANDY hard. SANDY recoils in shock.

Now you listen to me, I swear to god. You don’t wake the baby and you don’t fool around. They’ll throw you out, you hear me. You want that, do you, outside? You want – (Interrupted.)

(Calling off.) She’s with me.

You do it. I’m busy. YOU DO IT. (To SANDY.) See what I mean?

(Calling off.) The backpack on the – in the Volvo. The VOLVO.

To SANDY.

Come here.

SANDY goes to LUCY. LUCY hugs her. The hug becomes threatening.

To your place, now. NOW.

SANDY goes to the control desk at the side of the stage. LUCY checks on her baby.

It’s alright now, petal, you’re here now.

Weren’t you good in the car, weren’t you?

You sleep on, sleep, darling, mummy’s –

A backpack drops from the sky.

(Calling off.) HEY. Don’t just throw it in. Don’t just – KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, ANYWAY, SHE’S ASLEEP, SHE’S SLEEPING.

LUCY picks up the backpack. Takes out an individual Ribena carton. Drinks it in one.

Hello, old place. You missed me?

Draw these curtains. Get some air in. Isn’t that right, Sandy?

SANDY presses a button. Black out. Rain.

Lights up.

BART is there, in a raincoat. He’s carrying a case and a holdall.

LUCY: I always have by the window.

BART: How about here?

LUCY: That’s Nigel’s.

BART points at another bed.

Joy’s.

BART takes off his coat and starts to unpack.

LUCY keeps an eye on him, like he’s a dangerous but rather attractive animal. She attends to her phone throughout.

BART: They let you have a phone.

LUCY: I get what I want.

BART: How old is your baby?

LUCY: Six months.

BART: What’s his name?

LUCY: Jasmine.

BART: Are you Lucy?...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Characters
• Chapter