- 81 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub
Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons
About this book
As the bombs fall in Lebanon, a family prepares for their narcoleptic daughter's wedding feast. There's a main course that won't die, a bride who cannot stay awake and the small matter of an absent bridegroom... An audacious and anarchic comedy from a writer who knows first-hand what it feels like to be caught in a war-zone.
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Yes, you can access Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons by Wajdi Mouawad in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & Canadian Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.
Information
Act One
A middle class apartment, visibly damaged by bombing. Morning.
NAZHA: Thatās not how itās going to start this time!
NEEL: It always starts the same way, Mama!
NAZHA: Shit!
NEEL: How else do you want it to start if not the same way?!
NAZHA: What is this rubbish?!
NEEL: Always, always, always the same way!
NAZHA: Who chose the lettuce ā you or the Armenian?!
NEEL: Mama!
NAZHA: Was it you or that monkey turd who chose this lettuce, Neel?!
NEEL: It was him!
NAZHA: Just look at this! Stick your nose in it!
NEEL: Donāt get so UPSET!
NAZHA: And now explain to me how on earth, I mean, what brilliant technique am I supposed to use to turn shit like this into food!
NEEL: Alright! Donāt get so upset about a fucking lettuce!
NAZHA: What are you doing?!
NEEL: Iāll go to the Greek this time!
NAZHA: Oh, brilliant. My son is an ass. I have an ass for a son!
NEEL: And if I donāt find any lettuce at the Greekās, Iāll steal some from the sheikhās garden!
NAZHA: Where the hell do you think youāre going?!
NEEL: To the Greek to get your fucking lettuce!
NAZHA: Great. And afterwards, Iāll just drag our neighbours to your funeral! I can just see the look on their facesā¦Donāt you dare leave this house!
NEEL: Well itās pretty stupid to do this on a day theyāre bombing!
NAZHA: How could we have known? We couldnāt have guessed! You canāt predict idiocy like you can predict the weather!
NEEL: Yes well, weatherās not exactly rosy is it; look over there, the sky is growling at us; soon itāll be all black!
NAZHA: Fine. Your sisterās dress will look all the more white!
NEEL: My sisterās dress is still at the dressmakerās!
NAZHA: Heās going to bring it over before noon.
NEEL: If he doesnāt get blown up on the way!
NAZHA: (Returning to her lettuce.) Ugh, he wiped himself with it!
NEEL: Sunshine all day, they said. Donāt make me laugh!
NAZHA: He wipes his arse with his lettuces, that disgusting slob! Donāt ever go back to the Armenianās, do you hear me?!
NEEL: Weāll never go back to the Armenianās.
NAZHA: He sells lettuce that smells of fish.
NEEL: What do you have against fish?
NAZHA: Bring me a bag and throw out this crap. Weāre not having salad.
NEEL: No salad.
NAZHA: Right, no salad. You donāt need salad for a meal, my boy. Come to think of it, itās better not to have salad.
NEEL: I told you itāll always start the same way. Always, always, always.
NAZHA: You think so? No!
No! If there isnāt any salad, weāll have potatoes. I know, weāll fry them! Yes, thatās it. Weāll have fried potatoes! Get me the cloth bag under the kitchen sink, I think I still have some good potatoes left. No oneās going to tell me there wonāt be a wedding feast the day of my daughterās wedding. Weāll have potatoes.
NEEL: Those potatoes are rotten, Mama!
NAZHA: Well, all the more reason to use them up! We canāt be throwing out food when there are men fighting just a hundred yards away. No, weāre going to fry those potatoes.
NEEL: If the potatoes are friable, weāll bloody well fry them.
NAZHA: Come on, donāt dawdle, weāll have to skin them.
NEEL: If the potatoes are skinnable, weāll bloody well skin them.
NAZHA: Fucking shit! With all this, I still havenāt finished.
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay? Next Friday?
NAZHA: Not again!
NEEL: Thatās the third time in two hours.
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay?
NEEL: Next Friday!
NAZHA: She must have fallen asleep under the sink again. Go and get her.
NEEL: And Walter?
NAZHA: Walter didnāt sleep at home last night.
NEEL: Again?
NAZHA: As usual.
NEEL: But he promised heād come home and play with me.
SOUHAYLA knocks and enters carrying several delicious looking plates of food. In the distance, light bombing is heard.
SOUHAYLA: At last!
NAZHA: Souhayla!
NEEL: He promised me!
SOUHAYLA: I thought Iād give you a hand!
NAZHA: Youāre such a darling, Souhayla!
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay?
SOUHAYLA puts the dishes down.
NEEL: Next Friday! He promised heād come and play with me.
NAZHA: But you shouldnāt have! No, really, you shouldnāt have. Itās too much! Itās really t...
Table of contents
- Front Cover
- Title Page
- Half-Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Characters
- Act One
- Act Two
- Act Three
- Act Four
- Glossary