Skin A Cat

Isley Lynn

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781786820525
• eBook ISBN: 9781786820532
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

With a kaleidoscope of off-kilter characters, Skin A Cat follows Alana on an awkward sexual odyssey: from getting her first period, to watching bad porn at a house party, to a painful examination by an overly cheery gynaecologist, all in the pursuit of losing her virginity and finally becoming a woman. Whatever that means...

A bed.

ALANA enters, sees the bed.

ALANA: (To the audience.) Oh, this is – I thought – no I guess that’s a cliché.

(Sits.)

Comfy. We won’t have to… will we? No, good, ok then. Lovely. Sorry, I’m… nervous. But I’m, fully up for it. Definitely. And look just before I get started I just wanted to say something. I want to… This is really hard for me. This is what I’ve spent the last – a long time – … this is basically my worst nightmare. Um. But I’m going to try. Because I think it’s a good idea. So I’ll just – [start]? Shall I?

I’m going to try and tell you everything. I’m going to try.

Ok. Um. Right.

I don’t actually know where to start…

Yes I do.

MOTHER: Excuse me, do you have a pad on you? A sanitary pad? No? Thank you. Excuse me, you don’t happen to have a pad on you? For women? I’m sorry, excuse me, I’m trying to get hold of a pad – feminine emergency. No, a tampon won’t do I’m afraid. Thanks anyway. Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, I was just wondering if anyone in your party had a pad, like a sanitary pad? No? Would you mind asking around? No no, I really need a pad.

ALANA: My mum’s on holiday, on an island resort, and she’s trying to find someone, anyone with a pad she can use. It’s not for her. It’s for me, back at the cabin with a folded wad of toilet paper wedged into my pants. I’m nine years old, and I’m having my first period.

I don’t remember how I discovered it exactly… I remember the chaos that followed. Dad wasn’t there. I mean, ever, he wasn’t around. Never met him, and never wanted to, really. Easier. I figured if he hadn’t been in touch he obviously didn’t want to be. Or maybe he was dead. Anyway eventually one of the dive masters gave her some and by the next day they had all pooled their resources and come up with a rainbow of different brands for me to use. I thought that was fun, at first. But then I realized that my becoming a woman was ruining my mum’s holiday a bit.

We did not talk about it. I had no idea what was going on. I felt very – wrong. Very bad. Why was this happening? Was I sick? Was I broken? Why wouldn’t Mum talk to me? Why didn’t she want anyone else talking to me either? Why did she look at her menu so much, out at the sea so much, at me so little? Why did she finish the books she brought so quickly? I was left to figure it all out by myself.

MOTHER: No more swimming.

ALANA: That’s all she told me. So I studied what was left on the scratchy pads every few hours – red blood, yes, but brown too, and sometimes like clumps of jam. Sometimes little stringy aliens, stranded on the padding. They looked like biro marks, when you’re not really writing you’re just thinking, or on the telephone – my mum does that a lot, doodling her conversation. But now, she was silent and her hands were very still.

I thought this was going to be the way things were, forever, from here on out. I’ll be bleeding for the rest of my life. I thought I’d never see my friends again. I thought maybe I was a witch – and that was a little exciting at first, I’ll admit, but not after the first few days.

Thankfully, it stopped. Then started. Then stopped again and started again and I ruined a few good dresses before my mum sat on my bed with me and said:

MOTHER: It’s called getting your period.

ALANA: (To MOTHER.) What is it?

MOTHER: It’s menstruation.

ALANA: What’s that?

MOTHER: It’s natural.

ALANA: Oh.

MOTHER: Everybody does it.

ALANA: Everybody?

MOTHER: Every girl.

ALANA: Boys?

MOTHER: Not boys.

ALANA: Not boys?

MOTHER: No.

ALANA: Weird.

MOTHER: So there’s nothing to worry about. –

ALANA: But / …

MOTHER: – It’s perfectly fine, bound to happen one day. –

ALANA: But / …

MOTHER: – You were just early, of course.

ALANA: But what’s happening?

MOTHER: (Sighs.) Inside you – there are – you know where eggs come from?

ALANA: Chickens?

MOTHER: Yes, well, you’re / …

ALANA: I’ve got chickens?

MOTHER: No, you’re like a chicken.

ALANA: No I’m not.

MOTHER: Because you’ve got eggs too.

ALANA: … What?

MOTHER: Inside you.

ALANA: (Beat.) How do we get them out?

MOTHER: They’re coming out now.

ALANA: In the – ?

MOTHER: Yes.

ALANA: Doesn’t look like eggs.

MOTHER: That’s because they’re so tiny you can’t see them.

ALANA: But w...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Note on the Text
• Characters
• Dedication
• Chapter