- 88 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub
Love 'N Stuff
About this book
Tanika Gupta returns with a hilarious and touching story of love, attachment and what we mean by home. Bindi and Mansoor might just be the most popular couple on their street, but after 45 years of a loving marriage, Mansoor has vowed to swap the cold streets of Stratford for a sun soaked Delhi. The problem? Bindi's not convinced and has concocted a last minute plan to lure him back.
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Please note we cannot support devices running on iOS 13 and Android 7 or earlier. Learn more about using the app.
Yes, you can access Love 'N Stuff by Tanika Gupta in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & British Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.
Information
SCENE 1
Departures lounge – Heathrow airport
MANSOOR (53 years old) enters. He is dressed smartly in a suit with a Muslim skull cap on and is hauling an enormous suitcase. We hear the soundscape of the hubbub of an airport. He looks around him, a little annoyed and then sits down on a bench. He listens to the tannoy.
TANNOY: Desi airlines regret to inform you that flight DES 144 is delayed by three hours. This is due to bad weather conditions. We will advise you when the check in desk is open for your baggage drop. Please wait for further announcements. Desi airlines apologises for the inconvenience caused to passengers.
MANSOOR huffs and puffs and mutters to himself.
MANSOOR: Bloody Desi rubbish. Three hours! Weather? Huh! Blue skies outside… Excuses…Rubbish… lazy-good-for-nothing-slackers.
He sighs and sits tight.
BINDI enters. She is furiously texting on her phone. When she has pressed the send button, she looks up and sees MANSOOR sitting there and boldly walks up to him and slaps him hard! She sits down next to him.
BINDI: Thought I’d drop by.
MANSOOR gives Bindi a look. Bindi gives him a look
BINDI: Nice skull cap.
MANSOOR ignores her.
BINDI: Very trad. Going back to roots eh?
MANSOOR doesn’t respond.
BINDI: Flight delayed?
MANSOOR: Rubbish airline.
BINDI: Better get used to it. Nothing works in India. Have to bribe your way onto a rickshaw even.
MANSOOR: India is more modern than this dump.
BINDI: So modern, they kill female babies.
MANSOOR: Shut up.
BINDI: You shut up.
MANSOOR: Go away.
BINDI: Sit wherever I want. Free country.
MANSOOR: Infringing my liberty.
BINDI: Stupid man.
MANSOOR: Idiot woman.
They both fall silent and look the other way.
BINDI has a voluminous handbag which she rummages around in. She pulls out a note and reads it. She laughs. MANSOOR looks over at the note. BINDI snatches it away.
BINDI: Private!
MANSOOR: My letter.
BINDI: To me. So, it’s private.
MANSOOR feigns disinterest.
BINDI turns her back on MANSOOR, pulls out some munchies from her bag and starts to eat as she reads the letter. MANSOOR looks hungry.
MANSOOR: Pakora?
BINDI: Hmmm…
MANSOOR: When did you …?
BINDI: This morning. Still warm. Hmmm…very good, even if I say so myself.
She pulls out some baby wipes and a little pot from her bag and gets busy dipping the pakora.
MANSOOR: Brought chutney as well?
BINDI: Hot! Ooooh!
MANSOOR waits for BINDI to offer him one, but she doesn’t. Instead she continues to smack her lips as she eats ostentatiously and reads the letter.
MANSOOR: Why are you doing this?
BINDI: What?
MANSOOR: Bugging me? Winding up? Torturing with your freshly made pakora and mango chutney dip. Three hour wait – starving!
BINDI: Tamarind and date.
MANSOOR: Eh?
BINDI: Not mango …
MANSOOR: Tamarind and date? My favourite?
BINDI: Get in India – no problem. Wake up every morning, send boy to run down to street stall for you. Masala chai, dosa, idli, pakora, samosa, freshly sliced mango. Yummm…
MANSOOR: (Reaches out.) Can I …?
BINDI: No.
MANSOOR: Please?
BINDI: No! Bachelor now. Make your own.
MANSOOR: Witch.
BINDI: Greedy guts.
MANSOOR gets up and exits.
BINDI: Where are you going?
MANSOOR: Get food. Keep an eye on suitcase but don’t dare touch it!
BINDI deliberately wipes her hands on the suitcase and then kicks it a few times.
MANSOOR: (Calls back.) I’m just queuing here. I can see you!
BINDI turns her back to MANSOOR, pulls out her phone and phones a number. She waits and then tuts as she has to leave a voicemail.
BINDI: Farooq! Where the hell are you? I need you. Get here asap. Flight delayed. Bindi. Kiss.Kiss…kiss.
JACK enters, an east-end dad. He calls out to his son as he sits down next to BINDI. He is rubbing his elbow.
JACK: (Calls out.) JACK! Jack in five you muppet no more no less! I wanna see the change outa that tenner! And if I don’t see ya I’m going without ya!! oooooooooooooarrrrh shit the bed sorry darlin’ – my elbow’s killing me. Been holding his bag for too long. Mind if I take a few love?
BINDI: Be my guest.
JACK: Sorry sweetheart, kids eh? Can’t live with ‘em can’t live with out ‘em. And our flight’s delayed. He’s going to Boots to buy another pot of hair gel! I thought football was about ball control turns out it’s about hair control. Some of these premier league players got a Twitter ...
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Foreword
- Dedication
- Cast
- Scene 1
- Scene 2
- Scene 3
- Scene 4
- Scene 5
- Scene 6
- Scene 7
- Scene 8
- Scene 9