The Christ of Coldharbour Lane

Oladipo Agboluaje

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN:
  9781840027853
• Edition: 1
• eBook ISBN:
  9781783198405
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'Brixton... A great spillover of excessive dreams. Anonymous masses… All of you are dancers of the dying beat. I come with the strong arm to ignite the rhythm, to drive again your passion for life.'
A revolutionary preacher begs the crowds to 'abandon the wilful peace' that keeps them down. He tries to make them believe that things could be different. But when people pray only for a brand new car or a large KFC bucket, the citizens of Brixton need a miracle to happen…

The Christ of Coldharbour Lane premiered at the Soho Theatre in May 2007.

The Christ of Coldharbour Lane

Autumn, bordering on winter.

Soundscape: Street noises, loud music from passing vehicles, police sirens.

Outside Brixton Prison, which is represented by a pole with a roll of barbed wire around it and a CCTV camera on top of it. The sets are placed on stage by passers-by from whom emerge OMO, DONA and KINGSTON. OMO is dressed casually in jeans, shirt and a jacket. At his feet lies a box containing his possessions. DONA wears a sweater with the words ‘Prisoners for Christ’ on it. She holds a bag containing DVDs, tracts, books. OMO surveys his surroundings as if he is experiencing the world for the first time. KINGSTON, the prison warden, drinks from a bottle of water. He glares at OMO. His glare dissolves into a smile whenever he faces DONA. He wipes his eyes intermittently. DONA looks at OMO as if he is her pet dog and has won first prize at Crufts.

DONA: (To OMO.) Lovely bed-sit we’ve got for you, Brother Omo. Guess where?

OMO: On Coldharbour Lane?

DONA nods triumphantly.

Thank you Sister Dona.

DONA: Brixton’s gone all toney since you’ve been away. It’s all the new money moving in. (Rummages through her bag.) You can’t tell the difference between the high street and any other high street. Except for that buzz. That’s one thing you’ll never bleach out of Brixton.

OMO: That is good to know.

DONA: Doesn’t matter how many trendy bars and chain stores they put up: you know you’re in Brixton. I didn’t give you my folder, did I?

OMO shakes his head.

I must have left it at the front desk. One minute. (Exits.)

OMO bends down and wipes his hands on the ground. He looks at his palms with wondrous appreciation.

KINGSTON: That girl’s flightiness make her deaf. I warn her about you and still she is helping you.

OMO: (Still looking at his palms.) Sorry?

KINGSTON: Your smile of deceit cannot hide your madness. In her presence you is pretending that she have convert you. Behind her back you preach heresy.

OMO: You call it heresy to justify locking me up. For three years your walls have held a political prisoner.

KINGSTON: You were locked up for impersonating the Prime Minister. You is Rory Bremner? You so stupid you didn’t even chalk up your face. Is no wonder Dr Gupta say you is mad.

OMO: How do you know what he said? That’s confidential information.

KINGSTON: I have ears that overhear. I’ve seen you impersonate me. Even a mimic has his own personality. But you! You swallow a person body and soul.

OMO: I was in the spirit.

KINGSTON: Oh, is dat why you refused to leave your cell claiming dat you is hearing voices?

OMO: Rapture is mistaken for madness. Dr Gupta works for the establishment. Naturally he would hide the truth from the world.

KINGSTON: Ah so? I never see dem pump so much Largactil into a man. If not for Dona you would still be in the psychiatric ward. She don’t know she is helping the devil to do his work.

OMO: I work for the Father. I came first on the ‘Born Anew’ programme.

KINGSTON: Exam standards aren’t what dey used to be. Your wotless certificate doesn’t give you the licence to call yourself even a false prophet.

OMO: I have honour in my home town. I will return to my people. They will acknowledge me.

KINGSTON: Is obeah you use on Dona or juju is why she believe you is from Brixton? Your home is a mud hut Bob Geldof can’t find time feh visit. Is just dat I’m feeling lucky; I woulda bet my pools coupon dat you is an illegal immigrant. Dey should have ship you straight to Heat’row.

OMO: The world is my Father’s temple. Coldharbour Lane is my home.

KINGSTON: Me can’t believe. From Prime Minister you graduate to Christ! Chris Rock say dere is black man and dere is nigger. I never agree with him before. Nigger is the filthiest word to come from a black man mouth. Is you he was talking about. Lock up is too good for you. I don’t know why the police didn’t kill you in custody.

OMO: Your eyes are blinded and your heart hardened. I am your redeemer. Believe in me, for my Father has committed everything into my hands.

KINGSTON: I is a God-fearing Christian! Don’t quote the Bible to me you son of a perverse rebellious woman.

OMO: Are you the one crying in the wilderness?

KINGSTON: You is an offence to humanity to ask me that question. Move from here! (Shoves OMO.)

OMO: (Catches KINGSTON’s hands.) The thought that a black man could be your saviour repulses you. Deny your self-hatred. (Tries to lay a hand on KINGSTON’s head.)

KINGSTON: Lay that hand on me and you will see black on black violence! (Breaks free of OMO’s grasp. Whacks OMO’s other hand away from his head.) Go preach your lunacy to your African brethren. I seen deir video flim. Is dem believe in all kinda voodoo. Why you don’t say you is a reincarnation of Shango? Why is the white man’s ting you always have feh mash up?

OMO: Your eyes are blinded and your heart is hardened by the establishment.

KINGSTON: Who is your father? Who gave birth to you, you foundling?

OMO: I am the son of my Father!

A bell...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Title Page
• Half-Title Page
• Copyright Page
• The Soho Theatre Development Campaign
• Contents
• Characters
• The Christ of Coldharbour Lane