1-2-1 Discipleship

Helping One Another Grow Spiritually

Christine Dillon

• Publisher: Christian Focus Publication
• Year: 2015
• eBook ISBN: 9781781912898

Part One:

Understanding
Discipleship

1: What Is a Disciple?

Thousands of years ago it was common to see a wandering teacher or philosopher surrounded by his disciples: Confucius in China or Aristotle in Greece. A disciple was one who wanted to learn and be influenced by a certain teacher. They often lived alongside that teacher and spent their days listening and discussing issues.

Jesus’ disciples were the same. Twelve were especially known as ‘the Disciples’ but in fact there were others who were also discipled including women like Mary Magdalene, Susanna and Joanna (Luke 8:2-3). They followed Jesus as He travelled around Israel, listening to His teaching and observing His lifestyle.

A secular dictionary defines ‘disciple’ as ‘somebody who strongly believes in the teachings of a leader, a philosophy, or a religion, and tries to act according to them’ ¹. Christians have a huge advantage over other kinds of disciples. The source of our strength is God Himself and so we don’t just ‘try’ to imitate Jesus, we can increasingly succeed.

Lynn Anderson’s definition is succinct: a disciple is a ‘follow-ing learner’ ². This definition implies not only spending signif-icant time with the one we want to be like, but also actively choosing to learn. Jesus defined a disciple by saying, ‘If you hold to my teaching you are really my disciples’ (John 8:31b).

John Stott defines a disciple as ‘someone who is on the lifetime process of having their character transformed and moulded to Jesus’ will’ ³. His definition focuses on Christian character, becoming more and more like Jesus. That is, increasingly patient, loving, gentle, trustworthy and joyful. Disciples want to become like Jesus in purpose, attitudes and values. 2 Corinthians 3:18 refers to the disciples as ‘we who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, [and] are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory.’ It is in following Jesus that He unleashes the potential of who we were created to be. It should not be small changes but a radical transformation of our entire lives.

Gary Kuhne includes both a character element and a skills component in his definition, ‘a Christian who is growing in conformity to Christ, is achieving fruit in evangelism and is working in follow-up to conserve his fruit’ ⁴. Jesus Himself said, ‘I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me he can do nothing.… this is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples’ (John 15:5, 8).

Some people seem to imply that there are different levels of commitment, as though we can choose to be an A, B, or C standard. Jesus’ view was radical. You are either a disciple (any Christian) or you are not (a non-Christian). He warns us up front: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me’ (Mark 8:34b). To be a disciple of Jesus means a 100% commitment. If we are not willing to die to our own ambitions and dreams and live fully for Christ then we are not Jesus’ disciples.

Thus, being a disciple includes developing in knowledge, character, attitudes and skills. The aim of discipleship is Christian maturity.

In this book, we will use the following definitions:

A Disciple: A follower of Jesus who is becoming increasingly like Him.

Discipleship: The process of becoming more like Jesus, as we are transformed by the Holy Spirit.

But, if all Christians are Jesus’ disciples, what does it mean for us to ‘disciple’ another Christian?

All Christians are Jesus’ disciples and are in the process of discipleship with Him, being changed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. But we, as Jesus’ disciples, have a role to play in helping those around us as they are in this discipleship process.

Elisha and Timothy were both followers of God, but they were learning how to be so by observing Elijah and Paul, and how they followed God. Paul urged, ‘Imitate me as I am imitating Christ’ (1 Cor. 11:1 NASB). His words may seem arrogant but they show how seriously Paul took his responsibility to disciple others and to be worth imitating.

So, we can add the following definition:

Discipling: the meeting of one Christian with one or more others, for the purpose of encouraging them in their spiritual growth to be more like Jesus.

---

1 Encarta World English Dictionary. 1999. Microsoft Corporation (Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing).

2 Lynn Anderson, quoted in The Case for Faith, Lee Strobel. Zondervan, 2000.

3 J. R. W. Stott. Basic Christianity. Inter-Varsity Press, 1971.

4 G.W. Kuhne. The Dynamics of Personal Follow-Up. Zondervan, 1976.

2: Types of Discipling

Helping people grow in Christ can be done in many different ways. Obviously part of the purpose of church services is to help Christians mature. Some Christians will grow in any situation because of the kind of people they are and their learning style. Others may sit in church for twenty years and learn practically nothing; they may find it hard to learn just by being spoken at, they may have educational difficulties, or maybe the preacher simply doesn’t communicate well. As well as in the main services, discipling could happen in Bible study groups, Sunday School, women’s/men’s meetings, camps or on a one-to-one basis.

Group discipling has several advantages:

1. People tend to feel more at home in a group and able to participate without feeling put on the spot.
2. Groups can be fluid, with individuals able to move in and out, so a more relaxed commitment is possible.
3. Bible study can be more dynamic in a group as many share their understandings and applications, and momentum and enthusiasm can grow as members of the group encourage one another.
4. General correction and exhortation can be more easily and subtly done than in a one-to-one context.

But while group discipling can be very beneficial and an effective way to encourage several Christians towards maturity together, one-to-one discipleship is unparalleled in the impact it can make on a Christian’s growth.

One-to-one discipleship is advantageous in many ways:

1. Tailor-made

One-to-one ministry can be adapted to fit the individual’s needs exactly. Even studying the same passage, different indi-viduals will raise different questions, will wish to cover the text at different speeds and will be challenged in different areas. Even brand-new Christians will be at very different stages. Some may have done five years of Bible study before they became Christians and know the Bible better than you do, while others may have made a decision to follow Jesus on the basis of very little knowledge. One-to-one discipleship gives the opportunity to answer questions, make direct application and deal with personal issues. The one-to-one approach can make a person feel like the Bible was written for them, and can take into account existing knowledge, learning style, personal situation, even the number of questions a disciple likes to ask!

2. Flexible

A group meeting necessitates a set time, place and structure. One-to-one, by contrast, can be very flexible, making it more suitable for those with busy families, shift work or other less predictable arrangements. We can shorten or lengthen the study to accommodate the amount of time the disciple has free.

As I am a person who likes schedules I generally try to have a set time with those I’m discipling as this helps me to organize my week. However, I try not to fill up my time completely, so that I have plenty of space available should a disciple need to change the time we meet. I don’t want to be so busy that the disciple feels they can never find me. The flexibility of one-to-one discipleship also allows us to deal with crises or opportunities as they come up.

3. Communicates love and care

So many of those I’ve discipled have been nearly overwhelmed that I would consider them precious enough to spend individual time with them. So many people are used to a world where even their parents never had time for them. They are in big classes at school and even bigger ones at university. Many are reduced to pouring out their pain and energy to complete strangers on the internet. One-to-one discipleship tells them they are precious to both us and God.

4. In-depth

In a one-to-one setting we are able to be more ‘in-depth’ in our discussion, not worrying if the topic is missing some and confusing others. We are also able to cover far more in a much shorter time. We can be completely focused on the individual’s needs and questions. Being more in-depth and personal might threaten some people, but altering the format of our discipleship and being sensitive in our questioning style should overcome the problem.

5. Closeness

Discipling requires openness and accountability. These are more likely to develop in a situation of closeness and trust, and these in turn are more easily established in a one-to-one setting. One-to-one also makes it easier to avoid a ‘teacher-student’ relationship. It is very important that from the start we are communicating that discipling is a mutual encouragement situation. This understanding can be emphasised by continual sharing of what we are learning, so it is not just a teacher imparting knowledge and skills to a pupil.

6. Less embarrassment

Many feel embarrassed in a group setting and may be unwilling to ask questions or admit failings in case they appear ‘stupid’ in front of others. A one-to-one setting can alleviate this anxiety, especially if the discipler is open about their own struggles. Issues will come to the surface more readily in a one-to-one context, and will also be more easily addressed and dealt with in the privacy of this setting.

7. Life impact

One-to-one discipling is a successful way to model the Christian life in action. As two spend time together, they will quickly learn each other's habits and attitudes, both positive and negative. For example, if the discipler always turns off their mobile phone when they’re doing one-to-one, then the disciple should also experience and learn to appreciate the importance of spending uninterrupted time with people. The one-to-one setting can also give the disciple the opportunity to learn skills such as how to confront others, how to understand the Bible for themselves, how to encourage others and how to pray.

8. Reproducible

One-to-one discipleship is easier for people to get involved in. Because it is flexible, nearly everyone has the time to get involved. And because it is more low-key and doesn’t require standing up in front of people or having others watch you, it is often a less stressful way of getting involved in ministry. In addition, it doesn’t require years of training to meet up with someone and ask how they are getting on. Simply going for a walk or out for coffee with another believer could be a form of discipling! And once someone has been discipled it is relatively easy for them to start discipling someone else.

Many churches have group discipleship programmes, but one-to-one discipleship is largely neglected. Because of this, and the impact one-to-one discipleship could make on Christian growth, although both group and individual discipleship have their place in the Christian life, this book will primarily deal with discipleship on a one-to-one basis.

---

Reflection:

1. Looking over the chapter, which reasons for group or individual discipleship affect you most strongly? Why? Any you’d like to add?

3: Types of
One-to-One
Discipling

Good biblical examples of one-to-one discipleship are the relationships between Elijah and Elisha and Paul and Tim-othy. The younger men travelled with the older, having many opportunities to hear their teaching and to watch them minister to others. They may have had designated sessions for study together, but Elisha and Timothy also lived and worked alongside their teachers in order to learn from them. They would have observed the elder men’s prayer habits and seen how they handled opposition and suffering. They would also have been influenced by their teacher’s values and ways of talking and thinking, and would have had opportunities to practise the skills they needed to eventually take over from their teachers.

As these relationships show, there are different ways we can disciple someone one-to-one. The possibilities are endless! We’ll divide the options into two main categories:

1. Formal Discipling

Formal discipling has the specific aim of coming together to study the Bible and help each other grow in maturity. The meetings are intentional, ongoing and planned in order to achieve specific aims. For example we may organise to meet a new believer to cover the basics of Christianity, or we may plan a six-week course of sessions in order to study a book of the Bible with another member of our church. These formal sessions could include going to workshops or conferences together, but there will be some overarching aim in attending these together, and we will have intentionally planned to attend in order to achieve this purpose.

2. Informal Discipling

This could be anything we do that encourages another person in their relationship with God. It needn’t be planned before-hand and could be a one-off opportunity such as having a passing conversation at a bus stop or recommending a book to a stranger in the bookshop.

I met a Mainland Chinese Christian in Sydney ai...

Table of contents

• Title
• Indicia
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Preface
• Part One: Understanding Discipleship
• Part Two: The Practicalities of Discipling
• Part Three: Passing on Useful Skills
• Part Four: When is Enough Enough?
• Closing Note
• Appendix A
• Appendix B
• Appendix C
• Appendix D
• Appendix E
• About OMF
• Christian Focus