Retief: Aide Memoire

Keith Laumer

• Publisher: Start Publishing LLC
• Year: 2020
• eBook ISBN: 9781649740427
• Topic: Literatur
• Subtopic: Science Fiction

The Fustians looked like turtles—but they could move fast when they chose! Keith Laumer was a best selling author who was nominated for both the Hugo and Nebula Awards. Before becoming a science fiction writer Laumer was an officer in the United States Air Force and a diplomat in the Foreign Service, adding a note of realism to many of his stories. One of science fiction's true luminaries

The Fustians looked like turtles—but they could move fast when they chose!

Across the table from Retief, Ambassador Magnan rustled a stiff sheet of parchment and looked grave.

“This aide memoire,” he said, “was just handed to me by the Cultural Attache. It’s the third on the subject this week. It refers to the matter of sponsorship of Youth groups—”

“Some youths,” Retief said. “Average age, seventy-five.”

“The Fustians are a long-lived people,” Magnan snapped. “These matters are relative. At seventy-five, a male Fustian is at a trying age—”

“That’s right. He’ll try anything—in the hope it will maim somebody.”

“Precisely the problem,” Magnan said. “But the Youth Movement is the important news in today’s political situation here on Fust. And sponsorship of Youth groups is a shrewd stroke on the part of the Terrestrial Embassy. At my suggestion, well nigh every member of the mission has leaped at the opportunity to score a few p—that is, cement relations with this emergent power group—the leaders of the future. You, Retief, as Councillor, are the outstanding exception.”

“I’m not convinced these hoodlums need my help in organizing their rumbles,” Retief said. “Now, if you have a proposal for a pest control group—”

“To the Fustians this is no jesting matter,” Magnan cut in. “This group—” he glanced at the paper—”known as the Sexual, Cultural, and Athletic Recreational Society, or SCARS for short, has been awaiting sponsorship for a matter of weeks now.”

“Meaning they want someone to buy them a clubhouse, uniforms, equipment and anything else they need to complete their sexual, cultural and athletic development,” Retief said.

“If we don’t act promptly,” Magnan said, “the Groaci Embassy may well anticipate us. They’re very active here.”

“That’s an idea,” said Retief. “Let ’em. After awhile they’ll go broke instead of us.”

“Nonsense. The group requires a sponsor. I can’t actually order you to step forward. However....” Magnan let the sentence hang in the air. Retief raised one eyebrow.

“For a minute there,” he said, “I thought you were going to make a positive statement.”

*

Magnan leaned back, lacing his fingers over his stomach. “I don’t think you’ll find a diplomat of my experience doing anything so naive,” he said.

“I like the adult Fustians,” said Retief. “Too bad they have to lug half a ton of horn around on their backs. I wonder if surgery would help.”

“Great heavens, Retief,” Magnan sputtered. “I’m amazed that even you would bring up a matter of such delicacy. A race’s unfortunate physical characteristics are hardly a fit matter for Terrestrial curiosity.”

“Well, of course your experience of the Fustian mentality is greater than mine. I’ve only been here a month. But it’s been my experience, Mr. Ambassador, that few races are above improving on nature. Otherwise you, for example, would be tripping over your beard.”

Magnan shuddered. “Please—never mention the idea to a Fustian.”

Retief stood. “My own program for the day includes going over to the dockyards. There are some features of this new passenger liner the Fustians are putting together that I want to look into. With your permission, Mr. Ambassador...?”

Magnan snorted. “Your pre-occupation with the trivial disturbs me, Retief. More interest in substantive matters—such as working with Youth groups—would create a far better impression.”

“Before getting too involved with these groups, it might be a good idea to find out a little more about them,” said Retief. “Who organizes them? There are three strong political parties here on Fust. What’s the alignment of this SCARS organization?”

“You forget, these are merely teenagers, so to speak,” Magnan said. “Politics mean nothing to them ...yet.”

“Then there are the Groaci. Why their passionate interest in a two-h...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Aide Memoire