Thark

Ben Travers, Clive Francis

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2015
• Print ISBN: 9781783198825
• eBook ISBN: 9781783198832
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: Theatre Playwriting

Sir Hector Benbow invites Cherry, a pretty shop assistant, to dine. Arriving home, he finds not only Cherry but Mrs Frush, to whom he has rented Thark, his niece's Norfolk house. Mrs Frush complains Thark is haunted. To distract Lady Benbow's attention from Cherry, he suggests everyone go to Thark, which lives up to its spine-chilling reputation. A wild night, sinister butler and plethora of romantic mix-ups add to the lively proceedings.

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

The library of Sir Hector Benbow’s flat, Mayfair – the room of a man of ample means, out-of-door and sporting tastes, who is really more at home in the country than in the West End.

HOOK, a middle-aged and rather careworn manservant, is polishing the silver. The telephone rings. HOOK answers it in a posh voice.

HOOK: The residence of Sir Hector Benbow, how may I be of assistance? (Voice changing.) Mother? What are you doing? – I’ve told you never to telephone me at work – What do you mean you had to? – What? – You mean it’s arrived? When? Go on – what is it, boy or girl? – Girl! – Oh, but that’s wonderful. – Just the one? – Girl, I mean. (Relieved.) Ah, that’s good! – ’Ow’s Florrie? – Taking it well? – Alright is she? – Tell her I’ll come round as quick as I can. – The boss ain’t in, but I told ’im it was on the cards – I’ll leave word. Better go. Bye, mother.

WARNER, a smart maidservant, has put her head round the door.

WARNER: Oh, Mr Hook, I couldn’t help over hearing. Has it happened?

HOOK: It has indeed, Warner, and I’ve got things to do.

WARNER: A little girl, is it? Dear little girl! Oh, Mr Hook, you must be so proud.

HOOK: I haven’t seen it yet. But I’m sure I will be. Now look, if the master returns before I do, just attend to these. (He holds up some letters.)

WARNER: Me?

HOOK: There’s a telegram for him, see? It came this morning and there’s his letters – that’s all. Oh, no – there’s one other thing.

WARNER: What?

HOOK: He’s expecting a lady to call. A lady he’s taking out to dinner. She’s to be asked to come back here at seven-fifteen.

WARNER: What lady?

HOOK: He didn’t say.

WARNER: Is it business or pleasure?

HOOK: That’s not for you to ask or for us to know. If a lady calls, you simply say, ‘It will give Sir ’Ector much pleasure if you will dine with him this evening and to call here at seven-fifteen.’

WARNER: Seven-fifteen.

HOOK: That’s right. Now kindly go and make yourself useful elsewhere.

WARNER: Very good, Mr Hook.

WARNER exits. HOOK straightens the flowers and polishes the coal. A bell is heard.

HOOK goes out to the hall.

HOOK: (Off.) Don’t worry Warner I’ll answer it. (Front door opens.) Good afternoon, madam, how can I be of help?

CHERRY: (Off.) Sir Hector Benbow, please.

HOOK: (Off.) I’m afraid he’s not in, madam.

CHERRY: (Off.) Oh, dear! He told me to call you see.

HOOK: (Off.) Ah, in that case will you kindly step this way, madam?

He reappears followed by CHERRY BUCK. She is about twenty-five, smart and confident.

CHERRY: Sir Hector said something about a little dinner?

HOOK: That’s quite correct, madam. It will give Sir ’Ector much pleasure if you will dine with him this evening, and to call back here at seven-fifteen.

CHERRY: Oh, strong! Will he be long?

HOOK: (Trying to get away.) Hard to say, madam. He and his nephew, Mr Gamble, went to the races this morning.

CHERRY: (Getty excited.) You don’t mean Ronald Gamble?

HOOK: I do indeed, Miss

CHERRY: The Ronald Gamble who’s engaged to Miss Kitty Stratton?

HOOK: (Eyeing the clock.) The very same.

CHERRY: The one whose picture I saw in the Mirror yesterday?

HOOK: Both Miss Stratton and Lady Benbow are at present out of town.

CHERRY: I see. (Watching HOOK watching the clock.) Are you anxious to get away or something?

HOOK: I am rather. I’ve – er – had news from ’ome, you see.

CHERRY: Not bad news, I hope?

HOOK: Well, I dunno. Half and ’alf, I suppose. The fact is, madam, I’ve just had a baby.

CHERRY: Sounds as if you ought never to have left home! Well, I suppose I’d better trot along and get dressed.

HOOK: Very good, madam.

The doorbell rings.

HOOK: Oh dear. (He goes over to the door and calls.) Warner, attend to the door, will you.

CHERRY: P’r’aps it would be better if I were not seen around here, just at present.

HOOK: Well, madam, that’s hardly for me to say. But I shall be leaving by the servants’ stairs, if you’d care to be shown the way.

CHERRY: Oh, strong!

HOOK: Just half a jiffy, while I get my ’at. (He exits.)

Immediately WARNER opens the door and shows in LIONEL. He’s a feeble but affable young man in his twenties with a keen eye for the ladies.

WARNER: Would you mind waiting here, sir, while I find Mr Hook.

LIONEL: Not at all. (Sees CHERRY.) Oh, I beg pardon.

CHERRY: That’s quite all right.

LIONEL: I’ve come to see Sir Hector.

CHERRY: So have I, as a matter of fact.

LIONEL: In that case, perhaps I’d better call back later.

CHERRY: (Picking up her hat.) It’s alright, I’m just going.

LIONEL: Please don’t go on my account.

CHERRY: I wasn’t.

CHERRY laughs softly. He laughs in response. Brief pause.

LIONEL: I’ve just taken a place in the country, you know.

CHERRY: Lucky you. I love the country.

LIONEL: Do you?

CHERRY: Love it. So much nicer than town.

LIONEL: It can get awfully lonely sometimes – (Moving to her.)

CHERRY: I expect it can.

LIONEL: Especially when you’re on your own. (Moving even closer.) If you know what I mean?

CHERRY: I do know what you mean – and if it’s all the same to you, I never go out with strangers.

LIONEL: I wish I could find someone like you who does.

HOOK enters with his hat and coat. He does not notice LIONEL.

HOOK: Right, madam, we can leave, if you’re ready?

CHERRY: Oh, dear – what a pity.

LIONEL: I say, old fruit, are you the butler?

HOOK: I am indeed, sir. (Not sure who he is.) Forgive me, sir?

LIONEL: I’m Mr Lionel Frush. I called to see Sir Hector.

HOOK: Ah – he shouldn’t be too long, sir.

CHERRY: (To LIONEL.) He’s ju...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• About the Author
• Cast of Characters
• Act One
• Act Two