Family Business

Julian Mitchell

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781849430951
• eBook ISBN: 9781849433839
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Retired entrepreneur William invites his four grown-up children to visit his beautiful converted barn in the Welsh Borders to celebrate his birthday. They all join with William's carer Solomon to toast another year, but each of them has their own business in mind... Warm, intelligent, witty and moving, Family Business is the world premiere production of Julian Mitchell's new play, looking at the complex relationships that underpin family life.

Act two

The garden. Later that afternoon.

JANE, TOM and KATE are in different areas of the garden, on their mobiles. HUGO is on a bench, turning the pages of the ‘Guardian’, while listening to the others.

KATE is talking to MILO.

KATE: It’s pretty amazing. A cocky middle-aged skeleton waltzing out of the family closet, grinning its gay head off!

TOM is talking to his business adviser.

TOM: So children don’t have automatic inheritance rights, but spouses do?

JANE is talking to BERNARD.

JANE: He showed us a certificate thing. Waved it about. What the government thought it was doing –

HUGO: (Not looking up.) Good. It thought it was doing good. Which it was.

JANE glares at him

KATE: No, proper African. Black. With that lovely purplish bloom, you know?

TOM: 49 per cent is held in a trust. For us children.

JANE: Oh, don’t worry about Susie, she can look after herself for a change. Though how we’re going to explain it to the twins –

HUGO: If I were you, I’d let them explain it to you.

She glares at him again.

KATE: I’m rather knocked sideways, actually. I always got on so much better with him than with Mum. I thought we were – you know – we had a special relationship.

TOM: It’s being tax efficient in Lichtenstein or somewhere. He controls it. Like everything else.

JANE: Couldn’t we challenge it in the courts? Unsound mind or something?

KATE: Of course I can’t ask. Could you ask your father?

She laughs. JANE glances over.

TOM: So what do you reckon a generous bid might be? In the current climate?

HUGO looks up.

JANE: She’s not taking it seriously, of course. She’s got engaged again.

HUGO: (To TOM.) How much does he say?

TOM waves him away impatiently.

JANE: Oh, some brewer.

KATE: At least it explains why he was hardly ever at home.

JANE: Well, I’m not sure. He was fine to begin with. But then he suddenly came out with this. What’s so funny about that? Oh, ‘come out’. Really, Bernard –

TOM: All right. Thanks a lot, Jack. Really helpful.

KATE: God knows what other surprises he has in store for us.

JANE: I think perhaps he’s ashamed. I certainly hope so. Bye.

KATE: Bye, darling.

She makes brief kissing noises. JANE, TOM and KATE come together. HUGO stays where he is.

JANE: Bernard’s having to stay late at the office again. It’s two or three nights a week now.

HUGO: (Flat.) Poor Bernard.

JANE’s mobile goes. She looks at it.

KATE: Susie?

JANE: I’m not answering.

(Putting phone away.) I can’t be always looking after her.

HUGO: No. Much better send her away to school.

KATE: Yes, let professionals deal with her.

JANE: It’s for her own good.

KATE: Of course!

TOM: All right, enough bickering, let’s –

JANE: I’m not bickering. I don’t bicker. They do.

KATE laughs.

JANE: If you’d stop giggling for a moment –

KATE: But you’re so funny!

JANE: Bernard wants to know – Did any of you have any idea about – about Daddy?

KATE: Not a sausage!

TOM: I have wondered about Solomon. But I thought he probably went to Hereford on his day off and –

KATE: Hereford?

HUGO: (Not looking up.) It’s full of SAS men.

KATE: (Pretending interest.) Oh?

JANE: (Glare.) The point is – Has anyone any idea how long it’s been going on?

TOM: Not me.

KATE: What difference would it make?

JANE: Well, if it’s to do with Daddy being ill, you see –

HUGO: He had a problem with his aorta, not his sexuality.

JANE: If you want to join this conversation, Hugo, will you please join it properly!

HUGO: (Not moving.) Homosexuality’s not an illness.

JANE: I’m not so sure about that.

HUGO: You mean, Bernard hasn’t told you what to think about it yet?

TOM: Please –

JANE: Anyway, it may not be a physical thing.

KATE: Come on!

JANE: What Bernard means is, Solomon may have been using undue influence to persuade Daddy while he wasn’t feeling himself.

KATE: So he felt him instead?

TOM: Kate –

JANE: If Daddy had ever been – that way inclined – before –

Mummy wouldn’t have stood for it. Not for a second.

KATE: Perhaps she never found out.

JANE: Perhaps she did, and was so upset, that’s why she lost her mind.

HUGO: Oh, Jane!

TOM: Yes, I don’t think –

JANE: It might have tipped the balance.

KATE: If Mum had known and felt bad about it, she’d have got a divorce. Double quick.

TOM: Yes. She didn’t muck about. Now shall we –

JANE: But she may have been thinking of us. How bad divorce is for the children. Mummy always put us before herself.

HUGO: (Rising now.) Really? I remember a series of barely English-speaking au pairs while she went off to work.

JANE: (Unhappy.) She wanted to play her full part in the business, of course.

KATE: At least she didn’t pack us off to boarding schools.

TOM: Kate –

KATE: And perhaps she did know about Dad and didn’t mind.

JANE: Of course she’d have minded!

KATE: Perhaps she thought him getting his rocks off with other men was better than him getting them off with other women.

JANE: Don’t be so disgusting! Poor Mummy!

TOM: All right...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Family Business
• Characters
• ACT ONE
• ACT TWO