Fred's Diner

Penelope Skinner

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781849434867
• eBook ISBN: 9781849435741
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

In Fred's American Diner on a busy English motorway, people dream of better lives. You'll find friendly staff and get service with a smile, but not far beneath lies a deadly secret. Penelope Skinner's new play serves up a beautifully plotted, blackly comic thriller that gives an unsettling portrayal of the darker reaches of intimate relationships.

Mains

1

Afternoon. OPEN. The waitresses work, serve, clear, take orders, serve, clear, clean. FRED leans against the counter. On the chalkboard, the word MAINS is written above some menu choices.

FRED: Eight pound ten my love and he gives you any more trouble you come straight to me. If I can help you out in any way

you jus say the word. Five fifty, mate. Nice one. No worries. You know me. I’ll do anything for anyone and maybe some people do think I’m a mug for it. Maybe I am. But if more people in this world looked out for each other’n maybe there’s be a whole lot less problems, thas all I’m sayin. That’ll be four pound sixty-four my love. Coffee’s on me. Cos you’ve got such a beautiful smile. Have a good trip. You drive safe now!

2

Late at night. CLOSED. SUNNY is sitting in a booth, drinking a coffee. MELISSA is mopping the floor. HEATHER is behind the counter, wiping things.

SUNNY: But this is it. When I look in the mirror I still see me. You know? To me

I’m eight years old. But to the outside world

and in real terms

most of my life is behind me. And it can be hard to accept that. So hard in fact that sometimes I tell myself well Sunny maybe it is not the case. You know? I think

maybe the most significant thing in my life has not happened yet. Maybe it is yet to come.

MELISSA: Maybe it is.

SUNNY: But then I think probably it is that I will be one of those old people on the crime telly phone-in. Murdered with a baseball bat.

HEATHER: We can but hope.

MELISSA: Heather!

SUNNY: When you are young

like you are young

you are thinking oh this and that. All these will come in time. Like love. And family. And children. And of course for me those things did happen. And when they did

they were not as expected.

MELISSA: For lots of people.

SUNNY: For lots of people yes. But I am driving up and down this motorway for my living. You know? Probably

I accept

I will never have the experience of money. Which is strange you know? Always in my head I am thinking when I am rich I will do this. When I am rich I will do that. And now I have to say to myself well Sunny it’s perhaps not your karma to be rich. And maybe that’s OK. But me with my brain capacity. And my many ideas for how to make the world a better place. And all the world wants back from me is this. It can be hard to believe when I see eight-year-old me

the brightest boy in his class

and is it really his karma just to drive up and down this motorway?

MELISSA shrugs, a bit awkward.

Quite. Because the future is unknown. And this is what I’m saying to you. When the letter arrives. This will be your time to act.

FRED: (Off.) MELISSA!!

MELISSA: Sorry.

SUNNY: No sorry it is me. Distracting you.

HEATHER: Want me to go?

MELISSA: Best not. He’s in one of his moods.

HEATHER: Is he?

MELISSA: Runnin late for his drinks.

HEATHER: Uh oh.

MELISSA hurries away.

A pause.

SUNNY: Long day?

HEATHER: Could say that. Chloe’s back. Remember? Posh girl. Went to Thailand.

SUNNY: I thought she went for a year.

HEATHER: It’s been a year. I know. Shockin innit?

SUNNY: I would have said

three months? Four maximum.

HEATHER: Time flies.

SUNNY: You are not wrong.

HEATHER: We’re gettin old.

SUNNY: Indeed we are. One of these days maybe I will be too old to drive here and ask you to go on a date with me.

HEATHER: Hopefully.

SUNNY: What about...

an Aquarium?

HEATHER: A what?

SUNNY: Tropical fish!

HEATHER: Sunny! Just

MELISSA comes back out.

drink your coffee and leave me alone.

MELISSA: “Where’s the cheese?”

Where it fuckin always is Dad. I swear to god.

SUNNY: Oh dear.

MELISSA: He’s the same at home. You look with your eyes Dad. Not yer gob.

HEATHER: Aw.

MELISSA: Swear down Heather, this is how he looks for shit:

She blunders around with her eyes shut waving her arms.

‘MELISSA? WHERE’S MY CLEAN PANTS?’ Dickhead.

HEATHER: Oi! Thas your dad you’re talkin about!

MELISSA: So?

HEATHER: And my boss. So watch yer mouth.

MELISSA grabs t...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Characters
• Afters
• Starters
• Mains