Kafka's Monkey

Franz Kafka, Colin Teevan

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781840029215
• eBook ISBN: 9781849436267
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'Esteemed members of the Academy! You have done me the great honour of inviting me to give you an account of my former life as an ape.' Imprisoned in a cage and desperate to escape, Kafka's monkey reveals his journey to become a walking, talking, spitting, smoking, hard-drinking man of the stage. Based on the short story A Report to an Academy by Franz Kafka, this new adaptation is by acclaimed writer Colin Teevan. Kafka's Monkey was performed to critical acclaim at the Young Vic Theatre in Spring 2009, and will return from the 19th May to 11th June 2011.

1.

Esteemed members of the academy,

You’ve done me the great honour of inviting me

To give an account of my former life

As an ape.

I regret

That I cannot comply with your request,

At least to the extent you might desire,

Since it is now nearly five years that I was

An ape.

A brief span, according to the calendar,

But an eternity to run

As I have done, at full speed, cheered on

By teachers and trainers, with the sound

Of advice and applause and orchestral music

Ringing in my ears, yet always racing,

Essentially,

Alone.

Those who cheered me on did so,

To continue the metaphor,

From the safety of the stands.

No,

I could not have achieved all that I’ve achieved

Had I stubbornly clung to my origins,

To the memories of my youth.

To stop being stubborn

Was the supreme commandment

I laid upon myself:

born a free ape,

I submitted myself to the yoke,

But the cost

has been the loss

of memory.

At first, had man allowed it,

I might have returned.

Through an archway as wide as the span

Of the heavens over the earth,

I might have returned to what I once was.

But as I raced, whipping myself on

The wide opening through which I’d entered this world,

Narrowed and shrank behind me.

I’d begun

To feel more secure in the world of men.

I’d have to flay the flesh from off my bones

To return to what I once was.

To speak in images, because

I like to speak in images:

The blast of wind that blew after me

Out of my past became

But a breath of air that played about my heels.

To be blunt, much as I like images,

Your former lives as apes,

Esteemed members of the academy,

Are as far behind you as mine is behind me.

2.

But perhaps I can tell you something,

And I’ll tell you with the greatest pleasure,

Something of my journey since entering

This world of men.

The first thing that I learned

was the handshake.

A handshake signifies openness.

And standing here today,

At the height of my career,

I hope to add openness in what I say

To the openness of that first handshake.

And, while what I have to tell the Academy

Will add nothing new, essentially,

To the sum of human knowledge, and

Will fall far short of what you’ve asked of me,

Which with the best will in the world

I simply cannot tell you,

Let it at least serve to indicate the course

That I, a former ape, has had to plot

To enter and establish himself

In the world of men.

Of course I would certainly not risk

Relating to you even this

Insignificant information,

Were I not completely sure of both myself,

And my position at the p...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Title Page
• Half-title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Kafka’s Monkey
• Chapter One
• Chapter Two
• Chapter Three
• Chapter Four
• Chapter Five
• Chapter Six
• Chapter Seven
• Chapter Eight
• Chapter Nine
• Chapter Ten
• Chapter Eleven
• Other Colin Teevan titles