Like a Virgin

Gordon Steel

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781849436335
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Edition: 1

A romp through the bubble-gum years of teenage life. Angela and Mazine, besotted with Madonna, play truant from school, form a band, attempt to write songs and, with hairbrushes in hand, live out their adolescent dreams of becoming famous. Meanwhile Angela's mother, Viv, struggles to come to terms with her marriage break-up and her daughter's explosive lifestyle, as the play rollercoasters through hope, sex, ambition, despair, and, most of all, love.

ACT ONE

Prologue

ANGELA is alone on stage. She is waiting. Music starts. Her attitude changes and she starts to sing.

ANGELA:

WE DICED WITH DANGER OUT ON THE STREET

WE KISSED THE MOMENT AND PLAYED IN THE HEAT

KNICKING OFF SCHOOL

BREAKING THE RULES

DOWN BY THE RIVER WITH A COUPLE OF CIDERS

WE HAD THE RHYTHM WITH MADONNA INSIDE US

KNICKING OFF SCHOOL

BREAKING THE RULES

ROCKING AND ROLLING, SWEARING AND SMOKING

A FEW DIAMOND WHITES, WE WERE LAUGHING AND JOKING

NOTHING COULD SCARE US, NOTHING DETER US

THE MOMENT WAS OURS AND THE BOYS HAD TO SHARE US

SHOPPING AT MARK ONE, TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT

SQUEEZING OUR BODIES INTO A SIZE EIGHT

KNICKING OFF SCHOOL

A COUPLE OF FOOLS WHOAH

FLIRTY AND FIFTEEN, WE HAD ALL THE MEANS

STRUTTING AND POSING AND REIGNING SUPREME

KNICKING OFF SCHOOL

BREAKING THE RULES

ROCKING AND ROLLING, SWEARING AND SMOKING

A FEW DIAMOND WHITES, WE WERE LAUGHING AND JOKING

NOTHING COULD SCARE US, NOTHING DETER US

THE MOMENT WAS OURS AND THE BOYS HAD TO SHARE US…

SHARE US…

SHARE US…

The Leyton living room. As ANGELA finishes singing KEN bursts into the room pursued by VIV. The scene takes place in ANGELA’s head. ANGELA observes and participates in the scene.

KEN: There’s no point in making a scene, I’m going and that’s that.

VIV: Oh that’s it you’re going. You’re just walking out the door and what am I supposed to do? Carry your friggin’ case.

KEN: I’ve tried to explain.

VIV: That’s not an explanation.

KEN: What do you want me to say?

VIV: What do I want you to say! I want you to say that you’re not going.

KEN: Viv, for Christ’s sake it’s not working. I can’t go on like this. We can’t go on like this. If I go now we’ll both have a chance.

VIV: Oh I’ve heard the lot now. By going you’re doing me a favour. That’s awfully good of you, you big-hearted bastard.

KEN: Do you have to swear?

VIV: Yes I fucking do. You are leaving me and our…your child. Your daughter. What sort of a life will your daughter have without her dad?

KEN: For Christ’s sake, that’s enough.

VIV: No, it’s not enough. You’re a slut. You’re walking out on your family to shack up with some young tart.

KEN: (Slaps her.) That’s enough, Viv…that’s enough…

VIV: You’ve never hit me before. Ken…Kenneth what have I done that is so wrong? One more chance, Ken. I’ll be a good wife. I won’t want much. (She goes down on her knees.) I’m begging you Ken don’t leave me. Please… Please.

KEN: Viv, what the hell are you doing? For God’s sake don’t…don’t…keep your dignity…bloody hell.

VIV: Keep your dignity. Christ! Why? Why? Is that because that’s all I’ve got left? I’ve looked after you like a friggin’ saint. I even gave you…you’re the only man I’ve ever…I’ve ever…What a joke.

KEN: I’m going ’cos this is getting us nowhere.

VIV: That’s your answer for everything isn’t it. Walk away, you coward. Go on, piss off.

ANGELA: Mam!

KEN and VIV shocked, turn and talk to an imaginary eight-year-old, ANGELA.

KEN: Go to bed, darling. Come here, I’ll carry you up.

VIV: Daddy’s leaving us, angel. Daddy doesn’t love you anymore. Daddy doesn’t love you.

KEN: Christ Viv, what the hell are you saying.

VIV: Daddy is going away.

KEN: Viv, stop it!

VIV: He is going to live with another woman.

KEN: She’s only eight years old.

VIV: And he is going to have another family. Another little girl to take your place because he doesn’t love you any more.

KEN: What the hell are you saying? What are you trying to do to her?

ANGELA screams. There is a long silence. KEN quickly turns, picks up a suitcase and his guitar case and goes to exit. ANGELA speaks. KEN stops in the doorway.

ANGELA: Daddy, Daddy, please don’t leave me. I’ll be good. I’ll tidy my room up and I promise I won’t make a noise when you’re watching the telly or reading the paper. (Pause.) I’ll give you peace. I’ll try honest. I promise.

There is a silence. KEN and ANGELA stare at each other. KEN can bear it no longer and leaves quickly. VIV walks to the door, closes it and exits through the up-stage door. ANGELA is alone on stage.

He’s not coming back, Oscar. Viv says that he doesn’t love us any more…but I know that can’t be right. We’ve prayed, haven’t we Oscar. Is it me, Oscar? Am I horrible? Was it my fault? He said he loved me. He said he’d always love me.

Loud music jolts ANGELA from her thoughts. We are in the toilets of a nightclub. ANGELA resumes her waiting.

Scene 1

The toilets of the Madison nightclub. ANGELA holds a bottle of Diamond White which she drinks through a straw.

ANGELA: Maxine, what are you doin’?

MAXINE: I’m shakin’ me lettuce.

ANGELA: Aw come out Maxine, you’ve been in there ages.

MAXINE: So.

ANGELA: It bloody stinks in here. Are you havin’ a shit?

MAXINE: Don’t be so bloody simple, you know I never have a shit when I’m out.

ANGELA: What?

MAXINE: You know what I mean. I can’t shit anywhere unless I’m in our house.

ANGELA: Well what the hell ’ave you been doing in there all this time? Making your will?

MAXINE: (Bursting into tears.) It’s him. It’s that bastard Jamie Power. ’E’s gone off with Shirley Windows. He had three dances with me. I even bought him a drink.

ANGELA: Aw come on, Maxine. Look, there’s no one in here now. Oway, sort yourself out in the mirror before anybody comes in.

MAXINE: Are you sure there’s nobody there?

ANGELA: No, hurry up.

MAXINE: Right. (She appears with face covered in tear-stained mascara.)

ANGELA: Come on Maxine don’t go upsetting yourself. Not over Jamie Powers.

MAXINE: ...