Bunnies

Kieran Lynn

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781849434676
• eBook ISBN: 9781849436991
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: Performance Art

Growing frustrated at the destruction of his rural idyll, a farmer picks up a pamphlet that encourages him on a dangerous path…. He has a great idea to secure the future of the native animals on his land - to kill all of the non-natives. With his daughter against him, and his son on the fence, his idea looks equally brilliant and insane. His goal may be achieved, but at what cost? A dark comedy pondering the effects of extremism, Bunnies is new play by up and coming young writer Kieran Lynn.

Act One

SCENE 1

In which Stamper laments the demise of his land, Eva argues for positivity and Max does nothing.

A large farmhouse dining room. Three chairs around an oak table. There are two doors, one that leads outside, and one that leads to the rest of the house. The place is dirty, unloved, and dark. STAMPER enters, he pulls out a chair and sits on it, it breaks beneath his weight and he falls to the floor.

STAMPER: ...Ow.

EVA enters.

EVA: I told you not to sit in that chair.

STAMPER: No you didn’t.

EVA: Didn’t I?

STAMPER: No.

EVA: Well, I meant to. It’s too late now I suppose.

STAMPER: Yes, I suppose it is.

EVA: I’ll fix it later.

STAMPER: Why bother? Why not just let it fall apart? Everything else is.

EVA: Everything is not falling apart.

EVA sits on another, the chair breaks, she falls to the floor.

EVA: Can we pretend that didn’t happen?

STAMPER: The whole place is crumbling before my eyes.

EVA: I’ll fix both of these later.

STAMPER: If I spent my life fixing all of the things that needed fixing, I wouldn’t have time for anything else.

EVA: Maybe if you spent the time you spend complaining about all the things that need fixing, fixing the things that need fixing, then everything would be fine, and nothing would need to be fixed.

Pause.

STAMPER: You’ve lost me.

MAX enters, eating a carrot.

STAMPER: Hi Max.

EVA: Hello Max.

MAX: …

MAX stands for a moment, then exits.

EVA: Nice to see you too.

STAMPER: Now where are we all going to sit?

EVA: I can sit on the table.

STAMPER: You’re joking aren’t you? You’ll break your back.

EVA: This table is solid oak.

STAMPER: It might have been solid oak once, but now it’s rotting oak.

EVA: Dad, stop being so pessimistic.

STAMPER: That’s easy for you to say. You’re young. You don’t know any different. I remember this land when it was at its best.

EVA begins to exit.

STAMPER: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? I was just about to start reminiscing.

EVA: I haven’t got time for your reminiscing. I’ve got work to do.

STAMPER: What work?

EVA: You have just said the place is falling apart, well someone has got to work to hold it together.

STAMPER: And that person is going to be you, is it?

EVA: Well, it definitely isn’t going to be Max.

STAMPER: Leave Max alone. Max just hasn’t figured out what he wants to do yet. When he finds something he enjoys, you watch, he’ll excel at it.

EVA: Let’s hope it is fixing chairs.

STAMPER: There is no point fixing them. They’ll only break again.

EVA: That’s a terrible attitude.

STAMPER: You live in this place long enough and you’ll have a terrible attitude as well.

EVA: You don’t give this place enough credit. I woke up this morning and I heard the birds singing. I looked out of my window and I saw rabbits and deer out in the fields. It was beautiful.

STAMPER: Those beautiful birds eat all of our seeds and shit on the windows. Those deer eat the saplings and break down the fences. They’re pests.

EVA: They only eat a little bit.

STAMPER: We shouldn’t have to share with them.

EVA: There is plenty to go around.

STAMPER: Like I said, you’re young. You think everything is sunshine and rainbows.

EVA: And I hope I keep on thinking that.

STAMPER: Well good fucking luck.

EVA: Thank you Dad. Now if you will excuse me, I don’t want to waste another second of this beautiful day.

EVA exits.

STAMPER sits on a third chair, which also breaks beneath his weight.

STAMPER: For fuck’s sake.

He sits alone on the floor. A letter is pushed through the letterbox in the front door. STAMPER stands. He picks up the leaflet and reads.

End of scene.

SCENE 2

In which Stamper reveals his dramatic, but possibly practical solution to a problem that may not even exist.

MAX is eating a plum. STAMPER enters.

STAMPER: Where’s your sister?

MAX: I don’t know.

STAMPER: Go and find her.

MAX: Why do I have to?

STAMPER: Just d...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright
• A Table of Contents
• Act One
• Act Two
• OTHER KIERAN LYNN TITLES