The Captain of Köpenick

Carl Zuckmayer, Ron Hutchinson, Ron Hutchinson

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9781849434584
• eBook ISBN: 9781849437486
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: British Drama

Released after fifteen years in prison, trapped in a bureaucratic maze, petty criminal Wilhelm Voight wanders 1910 Berlin in desperate, hazardous pursuit of identity papers. Luck changes when he picks up an abandoned military uniform in a fancy-dress shop and finds the city ready to obey his every command. At the head of six soldiers, he marches to the Mayor's office, cites corruption and confiscates the treasury with ease. But still what he craves is official recognition that he exists. A nation heads blindly towards war as the misfit takes on the state in Ron Hutchinson's savagely funny new version of Carl Zuckmayer's The Captain of Köpenick, first staged in Germany in 1931.

ACT ONE

In the darkness we hear Martin Luther’s great hymn EIN FESTE BURG sung by massed male voices backed up by a small brass band.

CHOIR:

A mighty fortress is our God A bulwark never failing Our helper he amid the flood Of mortal ills prevailing –

As the lights rise on –

SCENE ONE

SONNENBURG PRISON, PRUSSIA, 1910

We see the choir is comprised of the PRISONERS of the jail. They sing under the watchful gaze of patrolling GUARDS as the PRISON DIRECTOR keeps time with his walking stick; an ARMED GUARD with a rifle at his side.

CHOIR:

For still our ancient foe Doth seek to work us woe His craft and power are great And armed with cruel hate On earth is not his equal.

As the second verse begins the prisoners carry on conversations out of the sides of their mouths, while facing straight ahead and singing with fervour –

PRISONER #1: Here – Voigt – you and that birk Kallenberg getting out today, are you?

CHOIR:

Did we in our own strength confide Our striving would be losing Were not the right man on our side The man of God’s own choosing –

VOIGT: Me and Kalle, yeah.

CHOIR:

Dost ask who that may be Jesus Christ, it is he. Lord Saboath his name From age to age the same And he must win the battle –

PRISONER #2: That’s nice for you. A right pair of tossers you two make.

CHOIR:

And though this world, with devil’s filled Should threaten to undo us We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us –

KALLE: Ask your missis who’s the tosser, pal.

CHOIR:

The Prince of Darkness grim We tremble not for him – His rage we can endure For lo his doom is sure, One little word can fell him.

PRISONER #2: My missis?

CHOIR:

That word above all earthly powers No thanks to them abideth The spirit and the gifts are ours Through him who with us sideth –

KALLE: I’ll be giving her one tonight.

CHOIR:

Let goods and kindred go This mortal life also The body they may kill God’s truth abideth still His Kingdom is forever.

KALLE: How about you, Voigt? Fancy a sausage sandwich with his old lady?

Enraged, PRISONER #2 moves towards them but doubles up at an expert jab in the belly from a guard’s baton. He’s hauled away as the PRISON DIRECTOR checks his files –

PRISON DIRECTOR: Kallenberg, Paul –

KALLE steps forward, stands at attention –

KALLE: Number seven nine three two zero five six, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Voigt, Wilhem –

VOIGT steps forward, stands at attention –

VOIGT: Number two zero six five seven two nine, sir.

The PRISON DIRECTOR signals to them to strip off their prison uniforms as the other prisoners are marched away.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Call me a cynic, Kallenberg but I hardly think we’ve seen the last of you.

KALLE: Thank you sir.

The PRISON DIRECTOR looks at the GUARD –

PRISON DIRECTOR: Better keep this one’s bunk warm.

KALLE: I appreciate that, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: You must like it here.

KALLE: Can’t complain, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Bunk’s comfortable, is it? Food good?

KALLE: Smashing, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Next time we’ll make sure there’s a chocolate on your pillow.

KALLE: There was something on my pillow last night, sir. Not sure if it was chocolate.

The GUARD tosses him his civilian clothes and he dresses as the DIRECTOR turns to VOIGT –

PRISON DIRECTOR: Will we see you again, Voigt?

VOIGT: I hope not, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Finally learned your lesson?

VOIGT: I’ve been very disappointed in myself, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Why did you break into a Post Office in the first place?

VOIGT: That’s where the money orders are kept, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: You’re no sooner out than you’re back in again for forgery.

VOIGT: Was just practising my handwriting, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: In somebody else’s cheque book. Then there was the business with the gun –

He nods to the GUARD who hands VOIGT his civilian clothes for VOIGT to get dressed –

VOIGT: I swear I didn’t want the gun, sir. I saw the gentleman’s wallet had fallen out of his pocket and I was trying to put it back but I panicked at unexpectedly finding a gun in my hand.

PRISON DIRECTOR: You ran into a bank.

VOIGT: Looking for somewhere to put it down safely, sir. If something isn’t safe in a bank, where is it safe?

PRISON DIRECTOR: And so on and so on – but I still have hope for you –

VOIGT: Thank you, sir. I’ll do my best, sir.

PRISON DIRECTOR: It won’t be me you’re letting down. It’ll be yourself and your country. There’s a war coming. We shan’t need men with guns then – we’ll need soldiers –

He hesitates –

And so on –

He takes a hand-stamp and stamps a document taken from a file –

Your identity papers, Kallenberg.

He hands it to KALLE, turns to VOIGT –

I don’t seem to have any for you.

VOIGT: Going to prison so young, sir, then not being able to stay out of it, I don’t have any papers.

PRISON DIRECTOR: No birth certificate?

VOIGT: Lost it.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Marriage license?

VOIGT: Dodged that bullet.

PRISON DIRECTOR: Army paybook?

VOIGT: Never had the honor of serving the Fatherland.

PRISON DIRECTOR: No papers at all?

VOIGT: Cigarette papers, sir, that’s it. Bereft, I am. Fell between the cracks, I have. Never seem to have got it together. I hope these men here take notice of the trouble you ca...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Characters
• Act 1
• Act 2