London Wall

John Van Druten

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9781849434614
• eBook ISBN: 9781849439299
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Performance Art
• Index: Literature

London Wall is a wryly comic look at the life of women office workers in the 1930s. In a solicitor's office in the City, Brewer, the office manager, sees pretty new 19-year-old typist Pat as fair game. As some of the more experienced secretaries try to warn her, and others leave her to her fate, her steady boyfriend – an idealistic young writer – desperately tries to win her back. Meanwhile, cynical Miss Janus' romantic life seems to be over as she is jilted by her lover at the desperate age of 35... First performed in the West End in 1931 starring a young John Mills, filmed in 1932, televised in 1963, but unseen since then, London Wall is a surprisingly modern look at men's continuing inability to see women as professional equals and colleagues.

Act One

The general office of Messers. Walker, Windermere & Co., solicitors, in London Wall.

Lunch-time. About 1.40 in the afternoon.

There are two doors to the office. One, down stage R., leads to the corridor and the remainder of the office. Another, down stage L., leads to the typists’ room; when it is open the sound of typing can be heard.

R. & L. from point of view of the actors.

Practically the entire centre of the stage is taken up with an enormous table. Chairs either end of it, and above and below it. Telephone and switchboard and telephonist’s chair just above door in R. wall. The whole back wall is occupied by cupboards with sliding-panel doors, half the height of the wall; the top of them forms a shelf on which are dictionaries, press-copier, files etc., etc. The shelf can also be sat on. High on the back wall a real shelf, holding letter-books, etc. A stationary-cabinet just above door L. against wall.

The table is covered with papers, planes, etc., but must have clear space on it for work. There are no windows on stage except possibly a skylight. The office may well have a sloping roof.

When the curtain rises, BIRKENSHAW, a cheeky, grubby, Cockney office boy of about 16 is sitting L. of the table, indexing a letter-book. Behind him on a peg are his hat, coat a very dirty white muffler.

BIRKINSHAW: (Singing.)

Can a mother’s tender care
Cease towards the child she bear?
Yes, she may forgetful be
And bung it through the window
And bung it through the window
And bung it through…

(The telephone rings. He goes and answers it.) Hullo! Hullo! Walker, Windermere. Who’s speaking? No, sir, ’e’s out at lunch. I couldn’t say, sir. No ’e’s out, too, sir. Our Mr. Brewer’s in. – Our manager, sir. Oh, very good, sir. I’ll tell ’im. (Rings off. Scribbles name on a sheet of paper.)

ERIC BREWER comes in R. He is the managing clerk; a young solicitor of about 30, attractive, slightly gross and on the flashy side; very sure of himself, always cheery and a little familiar. He wears a lounge suit and carries some papers. He watches BIRKENSHAW writing.

BREWER: (Good-naturedly.) What’s that?

BIRKINSHAW: Mr. Carpenter, sir. ’Phoned for Mr. Walker.

BREWER: Any message?

BIRKINSHAW: (Brightly.) No, sir. Just ’phoned.

BREWER: (Taking paper from him, looking at it, and then pointing to number of small strips of memo. Paper hanging by piece of pink tape on a nail just below ’phone.) And what are those for, Birkinshaw?

BIRKINSHAW: What, sir?

BREWER: Those slips of paper? (BIRKINSHAW grins.) Wasting good office stationary like that!

BIRKINSHAW: Sorry, my lord. I was drunk at the time.

BREWER: (Laughs.) Where’s everybody?

BIRKINSHAW: Gone to lunch.

BREWER: All of them?

BIRKINSHAW: Well, most of ’em.

BREWER: Miss Hooper out?

BIRKINSHAW: Just going, I think. Just bin up to wash.
(BREWER goes over to door L. and opens it.)

BREWER: Miss Hooper.

Enter MISS HOOPER from typists’ room. She is around 27, not unattractive, a little truculent. She wears her hat, carries her bag, and is obviously just going out.

MISS HOOPER: Yes, Mr. Brewer?

BREWER: Is that letter for Darracks done yet?

MISS HOOPER: (Slightly in arms.) Not yet. I haven’t had a minute all morning.

BREWER: Well, I want it to go round by hand.

Silence.

Are you going to lunch now?

MISS HOOPER: (Stonily.) I was.

BREWER: Well, can you just run it off before you go?

MISS HOOPER: Run it off? Two pages, wasn’t it? Is there any hurry?

BREWER: There is rather. I want them to get it before the Bank closes.

MISS HOOPER: I’m late as it is.

BREWER: Is there anyone else who can read your shorthand? Who’s in there?

MISS HOOPER: No one. (With a very bad grace.) Oh all right, I’ll do it.

She goes back L. and slams the door.

BIRKINSHAW: (Grimacing.) ’Ark at Irma! Ray of sunshine, she is!

BREWER: (To BIRKINSHAW.) When it’s done, bring it to me to sign and I want you to take it round with some deeds. They’re in my safe. Better come up and get them.

BIRKINSHAW: Who’ll look after the office while I’m out? Mr. Walker doesn’t like me leaving it alone.

BREWER: There’s someone in, isn’t there?

Enter MISS JANUS, R. She is about 35, neither attractive nor particularly plain. She is rather tidy, wearing blouse and skirt, possibly even collar and tie, with a sort of brusque cheery sulkiness about her.

BREWER: Hullo, my fair one. Have you been or are you going?

MISS JANUS: Where?

BRE...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title Page
• London Wall
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Characters
• Act 1
• Act 2
• Act 3