Estelle held her little sisterās hand tightly in one hand, her small cardboard case in the other as the crowds jostled pushing to board the SS Shepperton Ferry. She hated being parted from Rosie, but the thought of her sister staying and having to face the Germans if they did invade like everyone expected was far more terrifying.
āIām scared, Essie.ā
Estelle stared down at the large brown eyes that reminded her so much of their beautiful mum. Only she had been lucky enough to know Mumās love. She coughed to clear her throat and push away the memory of the day twelve years ago when her sister was born. Estelle had been barely seven, but Dad had needed her to be strong and help look after her new baby sister, while he and her grandmother made arrangements for the funeral. She had welcomed having someone to cuddle during those heart-breaking weeks after her mumās unexpected death. She could barely remember a time when Rosie had not been around following her everywhere since then.
āDonāt be,ā Estelle said. āYouāve got to be strong. We all do. Anyway, youāll be safer staying at Aunt Murielās in London. Sheāll take care of you.ā
Since her motherās death, Gran had been Rosieās mother figure and now Estelle knew that however difficult it might be for her to ensure Rosie was evacuated to the mainland, it was something that she needed to do.
āBut I donāt remember her. Do you?ā
āYou must do, she was only here a few years ago. Donāt you remember going swimming with her at Havre des Pas bathing pool? She treated us to one of Smithās ice creams that day, too. You know, the boy on the bicycle with the cooler on the front?ā
Rosie shook her head, her usually smiling mouth sulky. āI donāt want to go away, I want to stay here with you, Gran and Daddy.ā
āI know you do.ā
āI wish you were coming with me,ā Rosie added her chin beginning to wobble.
āSo do I.ā Estelle lowered the case to the ground and gave her sister a tight hug. āIāll tell you what, when this is all over weāll plan a family holiday somewhere.ā
āDo you promise?ā
āYesā¦ but you know I need to stay here with Dad and Gran to help them at the farm until that time comes.ā She needed to distract Rosie somehow. āNow, whereās your gas mask?ā
Rosie pointed to her shoulder indicating the string attached to the box hanging slightly behind her back.
āGood. You mustnāt lose it.ā
āI wonāt,ā she mumbled. āIs Aunt Muriel nice?ā
āVery, and sheās great fun, too.ā Estelle pictured her motherās sister. They looked so similar, although their lives had been very different. Her mother had come to live in Jersey when she married their dad whereas Muriel enjoyed a more glamorous life as a manager in a smart clothes shop in London. āLook, donāt worry. Youāll remember her when you see her again. I know you will.ā
āBut why is Daddy making me go? I promised him Iād help more if he let me stay at home.ā
Estelleās heart ached to hear her sister voicing her own thoughts. āHe wants you to be safe. Youāve heard the sound of bombing from St Malo, havenāt you?ā Rosie nodded miserably. āAnd I heard Dad speaking with Gran about some of the things the Canadian soldiers told him theyād witnessed after he helped rescue them.ā
āYou mean those men he saved who had escaped from Dunkirk?ā
āYes, thatās right. Quite a few of them managed to get as far as St Malo, but there was nowhere else for them to go once theyād got that far.ā
āAnd he doesnāt want that to happen to us?ā
Estelle sighed. āNo, and I think he worries about us being stuck here if the Germans come and the same thing happens.ā
Rosieās hand squeezed hers a little tighter. āI hope it wonāt.ā
So did she. Part of her wished she was going with Rosie, but she was nineteen now and needed at home. Her sister was going to have to find a way to cope without her.
Estelle spotted one of her old school friends. It made her feel a little better to know that someone she knew well was also being evacuated to England. Estelle opened her mouth to call to her.
āJanine!ā she shouted, relieved when the girl turned and after scanning over the heads of the others in the crowd saw her. Estelle picked up Rosieās case. āCome on, Rosie,ā she said, pulling her sister passed the hot, sweaty bodies pressed against each other waiting to board. She ignored Rosieās grumblings and kept going until she reached her friend. āAre you going to England on this boat?ā
āYes,ā Janine said, somehow looking cool and not as stressed as the rest of them. āIād rather stay here and take my chances, but my Mum has arranged for me to stay with a cousin for the duration in Southampton. Hopefully, it wonāt be for too long. You?ā
āIāve got to stay here,ā Estelle said thinking of her plans to enrol in art college. She had wanted to be a dress designer for as long as she could remember ever since falling in love with films at the pictures. She couldnāt see that happening any time soon. Not now. āMy little sister Rosieās going. You remember Rosie, donāt you?ā
Janineās eyes followed the line of Estelleās arm until she saw Rosie. āAh, there you are, Rosie. I didnāt see you standing there behind your sister. Donāt look so worried, itāll be fine. Youāll see. Think of it as an adventure.ā
Rosie mumbled something Estelle couldnāt hear over the anxious voices around them.
āRosieās travelling alone?ā
Estelle explained that Rosie was supposed to have gone to her school to meet up with her teachers and schoolfriends. āI think she was hoping that if we came straight here she could persuade me to give in and either go with her, or let her come home to the farm with me.ā
āI donāt like Mrs Gilcrest,ā Rosie grumbled. āAnd I donāt want to go all the way to England with her. Anyway, Iām sure it wouldnāt be so bad if Estelle let me stay here.ā
Estelle pulled a face at Janine. āAs you can see, itās been a bit of a battle this morning.ā She turned her attention to her sister. āWeāve been through this, Rosie.ā She was finding it difficult to keep her emotions in check. It was painful enough parting from her sister for the first time, especially when she didnāt know how long it would be for, but this was almost too much for her.
She usually gave in to Rosie, but this time she had no choice and had to remain firm. She reached out and brushed Rosieās messy fringe away from her warm forehead. āYou know Dad was the one who decided this and heās only doing it because he wants you to be safe. We must do what he asks. Sometimes we have to do the right thing, even if weād rather not.ā
Rosie didnāt look convinced. āBut surely, if itās dangerous for me to remain here, then you should be coming with me?ā
Estelle closed her eyes, trying to contain her frustration. āYou know he needs my help on the farm with all the boys away fighting. Now, please stop making such a fuss, it wonāt change anything, only make this harder for us both.ā
Janine rested a hand on Estelleās shoulder. āHas Rosie got someone to stay with when she gets to Weymouth?ā
āOur Aunt Muriel. Sheās going to meet her off the boat and take her back to her flat in London.ā
āWell, then, Iāll take care of Rosie while weāre on the ferry.ā Janine bent so her face was level with Rosieās. āWould that be all right with you?ā
Rosie looked from Janine to Estelle and after a momentās thought shrugged. āYes, if you like.ā
It was a success, of sorts. Estelleās shoulders relaxed slightly. āThank you.ā
āNo problem.ā Janine smiled at her. āRosie and I will be in Weymouth in a few hours and I promise I wonāt leave her until I know sheās safe with your auntie.ā
It was more than Estelle had hoped for and she was hugely grateful to her friend. āI really appreciate your help, itās very kind of you.ā
A whistle sounded, silencing most of the voices on the pier. āFive minutes until boarding closes.ā A chorus of gasps and panicked voices filled the air. āWe need to leave in fifteen minutes if weāre to catch the tide.ā
āThatās it,ā the woman next to Estelle said, pushing passed her. āIām not going.ā
Estelle felt Rosieās hand tense in hers. āCome along,ā she said, picking up her sisterās small case and pushing her way through the throngs of people waiting by the ship to the gangway. Janine followed closely behind, bringing up the rear so Rosie had no choice but to keep moving forward.
Rosie continued to badger her with reasons why she should go with her back to the farm, but Estelle did her best to take little notice. Eventually they reached the front of the queue.
āTickets,ā demanded a flustered officer, putting his arm out in front of Estelle to stop her stepping on to the gangplank.
She had been hoping to sneak onboard with her sister and find the best place for Rosie to wave goodbye, but that looked as if it wasnāt going to happen now. She took Rosieās ticket from her pocket and held it in front of his face.
āThereās only one.ā He gave her a knowing look and Estelle assumed she wasnāt the first person today to have tried this tactic. She had been dreading this bit. āItās for my younger sister. Iām dropping her off. I just want to make sure sheās settled on the boat. Then I promise Iāll get straight off again.ā
āNo, you wonāt love.ā
She tried not to panic. āBut you donāt understandāā
He shook his head, wearily. āNo love, itās you that doesnāt understand. If I let you on, then Iād have to let half that lot on, too.ā He nodded in the direction of the crowd behind Estelle and she glanced over her shoulder. Her heart plummeted. She would have to say her goodbyes to Rosie here, and quickly.
āFine. Hereās her ticket, then,ā she said, handing it over, and turning to Rosie. āIām going to have to leave you here, Iām afraid.ā
Rosieās face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. āWhat? No, you canāt.ā
āBe good for Janine and give my love to Aunt Muriel,ā Estelle said, her voice cracking with emotion. She crouched down and pulled Rosie into a tight hug breathing in the familiar scent of the shampoo she had used to wash her hair.
āPlease donāt leave me, Essie. Please.ā Estelle braced herself for what she was about to do and then gently pushing her away, handed Rosie her case. āGo with Janine. Itāll be fine, I promise you.ā
āYou donāt know that.ā She burst into tears.
It was true, Estelle thought, she had no idea whether or not Rosieās voyage to Weymouth would be fine. She felt sick to think of recent reports about boats travelling from the Channel Islands to the mainland needing to zigzag to avoid being hit by German fighter planes. The thought that her sister might not even make it to the other side of the Channel terrified her, especially as she was the one now...