I said the sea was folded

Poems

Erik Jensen

• Publisher: Black Inc.
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9781760642914
• eBook ISBN: 9781743821756
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Poetry
• Index: Literature

These poems were intended first as gifts. They are the story of falling in love with a person who lives outside the gender binary and realising that is not one thing but everything. Erik Jensen is an award-winning journalist, biographer and screenwriter. These poems announce a new phase in his work. They are startling in their simplicity and their honesty – reminiscent of Mary Oliver, Emily Dickinson and Seamus Heaney. The poems chart the first three years of Jensen's relationship with his partner, a non-binary composer and musician. They are love poems, written against the complexity of understanding another person. Together they form a fragmentary memoir of hope, disagreement and love.'Like a Dickinson seedling.' —Kate Jennings

YEAR TWO

026. Second time

My favourite line

Is when you said

You were dreading

More chicken soup.

Later you asked

If it was Wednesday

When you made it

And whether it was still

Okay to eat.

027. Wye River

I started this poem before you left.

I finished it the day you told me

It was over, and you couldn’t anymore.

I wrote that the grass was in seed

And there was so much of it

The hillside seemed to blur.

I wrote that the sky was low and perfect.

I said the sea was folded

And you said to write that down.

I didn’t think you would go.

I didn’t guess it would be my anger

Because I thought it would be yours.

I turned out my pockets and held open

The palms of my hands.

I looked at the rocks piled on the sink

Flecked now with water from the tap

And felt uncertain about everything.

Had I fooled myself on the beach

As we stood on the edge of those pools

That I was taking them for someplace better?

You said you were sad

As you left the house

To see the little plant we bought

Sitting alone in the too big white pot.

The rocks we collected were all grey or black

Like a mouse’s fur.

028. Standing apart

We lasted a year and one week.

On the Monday you said it was over.

We slept apart four nights.

On the fifth day you permitted

That I could visit with some lunch.

In the hallway we hugged:

I felt a hollow, pitying cold.

In my dream we stood in a new house

On a sugar-soaped floor,

Scrubbed and hopeful.

029. Two sandwiches

After lunch I smiled.

You wore the blue jacket

The one we bought in Daylesford

Before our fight in the car.

You said it felt like cardboard

But it kept out the wind.

Jen read aloud at dinner

A poem by Sharon Olds

About the first hour

Of a baby’s life.

The child smelt

Of creamy blood.

It had not yet taken

A drink of milk.

Jen read that it lay like a god

For that hour, before it was anyone’s.

I never thought of a god like that.

I never thought of god as innocent.

Gods create, and creation is brutal.

030. Especially I wished
(Royal Poinciana)

On the walk home, I saw a blue wall.

I ironed three shirts, blue ones

Two of them with stripes.

In the mirror my face was red with sadness.

I shaved and felt relieved

That I wasn’t scared,

Like I was the other night.

I showered and remembered the downpours

Walking home from school.

I remembered being a child and wishing

I knew the name for everything

Just in case.

Especiall...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Prologue
• Year Three
• Year Two
• Year One
• Epilogue
• Back Cover