It may be odd to see a book addressing this quite horrible ideology starting with reference to a Disney fairytale, although we feel this summarizes the problem quite well. The heart of the incel movement is a parallel to the sad marionette Pinocchio who desires, more than anything else, to become a real boy. The Blue Fairy calls to him: Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday, you will be a real boy. It is this illusive desire to be like everyone around them, to be loved and seen as a real person with value and worth that drives the incel philosophy more than anything else.
The involuntarily celibate (incel) philosophy is one where males believe the genetic, biological factors that impact our bone structure, height, physical or mental abilities, weight, eye and skin color and physical appearance are pre-determined and are the main factor dictating what women find attractive in men. When these factors are missing or substandard in the incel, they become less desirable and with this rejection by women, along with their perceived and actual marginalization, they become isolated, lonely and increasingly frustrated and jealous at the life everyone else seems to have.
This concept is concerning for several reasons. First, the incel’s attitude toward women reinforces negative stereotypes, harms development, and increases negative interactions. This leads to the further isolation and alienation of the incel from the larger society and they often find their only solace in the dark chat rooms of the internet. This loneliness can lead to an increase in depression and risk of suicide. In extreme cases, their frustration percolates and grows, narrowing into a focus on hurting the women who reject them and others who are successful and happy in relationships. Of note, the incel community ignores any discussion of gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or non-binary descriptions of gender identity and sexual orientation.
A summary of common names incels use to describe themselves and others is introduced here in Table 1.1 to assist the reader to become more familiar with the very unique and specific coded language used in the incel community.
Table 1.1 Common incel terms for individuals
| Term | Meaning |
| Alpha male | A bold, confident leader; the opposite of a beta |
| AMOG | “Alpha male of group” |
| Becky | An average young woman, subordinate to a Stacy in looks and status |
| Beta male | A weak man; the opposite of an alpha |
| -Cel | This suffix can be used to define one’s subset within the incel community based on physical features, interests, race, or defining traits (e.g., a gingercel is an incel who has red hair) |
| Chad | An ideal male specimen, Chads can attract nearly all women easily; ethnic counterparts are Tyrone (Black), Chaddam (Arab), Chadpreet (Indian), Chang (East Asian) |
| Cuck | Short for cuckold, this is a man with an unfaithful wife/girlfriend; also used for men who are considered weak or servile and often used as a derogatory term for men with moderate or progressive views |
| Femoid/foid | Demeaning term referring to women as less than human |
| Incel/inkwell | Involuntarily celibate man; common subsets include: Baldcel: Bald or balding Currycel: Indian Clowncel: Identifies with and admires the Joker from Batman Fakecel: Pretending to be incel to be edgy or to fit in Framecel: A man with the bone structure of a young teen Gymcel: Believes he can compensate with muscles Heightcel/shortcel: A short man who is an incel because of his height Mentalcel/ medcel: Has psychological illnesses or medical issues Workcel: Too preoccupied with work for a relationship |
| Noodlewhore | An Asian woman |
| Normie | An average boring person, someone who is average in looks, between a Chad and an incel |
| Soyboy | An effeminate, feminist or non-fighting man, with low athleticism; incels believe soy lowers testosterone |
| Stacy | The female counterpoint to a Chad; the ideal woman who is out of reach for any non-Chad man |
| Thot | A woman who has many casual sexual encounters |
Alienation and Depression
While this could be a bit of a chicken and the egg debate, the smart money is placed on the idea that men who are unable to talk to women, who have been teased, bullied or rebuffed by others, have directly led to the creation of this ideology. As such, this comes from a place of sadness, pain, frustration, and loneliness and remains a particularly negative way of looking at human interactions, sexual or otherwise. This kind of pre-deterministic worldview limits concepts of diversity, individual choice, responsibility and reduces human value to a single dimension, namely sexual attraction.
When the males do not get the object of their desire, they see themselves as weak, less-than, and in a “beta” status to the other “alpha” males. Depending on how deep the individual is lost in the incel doctrine, this could be seen as a final, unalterable law of nature they cannot cross, also known as “blackpill.” For the “redpill” incels, this creates a very steep hill to climb in terms of someone less genetically desirable finding an attractive sexual or romantic partner. They attempt to overcome their genetic shortcomings through acquiring wealth, working out to improve on areas of strength, endurance, and muscle development, or acquiring status, career, fame or achievements to better lure women into a sexual relationship despite their inherent lack of interest in a beta male.
Whether blackpill or redpill, both leave the incel with a growing sense of frustration, potential hopelessness, feelings of suicide, despair and a growing frustration that often leads to anger. This mixture of negative emotions, combined with the idea that they will never be enough and that they are genetically behind the eight-ball, often leads to further alienation, depression and the perception that they are frustrated, undesirable loners. As one can imagine, it’s this cycle, feeding upon itself, that continues the incel’s spiral. They are further ostracized, teased, bullied, and their desires for connection and sexual relationships slip further and further from their grasp.
An example of this can be found in the writing of the Isla Vista attacker in the manifesto he left. Upon coming to college, he describes his frustrations,
With his desires out of reach, the attacker further isolates and becomes frustrated at his life walking around with friends in Santa Barbra and Montecito, CA. He recalls,
Attitude toward Women
At best, women are seen on a continuum of sexual attraction, reduced to objects only valued for their beauty. There is no mention of attributes such as intelligence, personality, health, success, or happiness. Further, the incel sees the young, tall, blonde, blue-eyed Caucasian woman as the ultimate desirable asset. Women with different skin colors, hair types or colors, weight, height, age or ethnicity are casually cast into the bargain bin of sexual desirability.
While this reduction of women is not a new phenomenon in the course of human existence, the expansion of the internet and discussion boards has given this concept more potential to spread and infest young minds than during previous decades. The Bechdel-Wallace test (Jusino, 2015) offers a feminist litmus test for literature, comics, film, plays and art content. The piece must include (1) at least two women, who (2) talk to each other, about (3) something other than a man. Clearly, any ...
