At the End of the Day

Improving your personal and professional life

Ron Muchnick Ph.D., Ron Muchnick Ph.D.

• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781643509853
• eBook ISBN: 9781643509860
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

At the End of the Day, using the SOLVE process is an exclusive, uniquely created five-step model that identifies a workable problem solving system that will work in both your professional as well as your personal life. At the End of the Day identifies the ability that we, as individuals have, in finding and applying solutions to our life's problems. It is not just a book of hope; it is a book of doing. It is one thing to want life to change, for life to get better, it is quite another to make it happen. At the End of the Day is not designed to promote one time improvement. The SOLVE process is not based on luck and its success is not a fluke. Solutions to the problems you are now facing as you read these words are already there waiting to be discovered and be applied in the real world. The SOLVE model is a process that empowers individuals to be aware and understand the problems they face in a more productive way. They will not only be able to develop action plans, but most importantly will be able to self-initiate their plans into action. At the End of the Day identifies the assets, strengths, techniques, and skills we possess in overcoming problems, but somehow are overlooked when we become problem drenched. The goal of At the End of the Day is to have the SOLVE process become your personal problem resolution system that is always available to use at your discretion. You have the power and control to develop solutions for the problems you experience. At the End of the Day allows you to promote successful change in your life. http://www.solvemodel.com/

Chapter 1

STATE THE PROBLEM SPECIFICALLY

Michael was not happy. There were too many things that were not going well in his life. He had just been passed over for the promotion he had wanted at work . . . again. He was not getting along with his boss who did not seem to appreciate his efforts. Michael was also having difficulty being accepted into the project group he had been assigned. And, oh yes, his relationship with Kim, his significant other, was beginning to head south. Too much, too overwhelming. Michael felt paralyzed and unable to deal with this accumulation of problems. He really felt like taking a very long nap, but he knew that would only compound his existing issues and problems.

Michael decided he needed some help. There certainly was not any available in the workplace. His company had just been right-sized for the third time. If Ajax Advertising got any “righter,” there wouldn’t be anyone left to even talk to. No, it had been made more than obvious that with this last restructuring, more and more responsibility for productive performance was going to fall directly on the individual employees.

The accountability for success or failure was now more than ever going to rest on the individual’s self-directed shoulders. The days of having mentors and supervisors available to aid and assist in problem solving had been long gone at Ajax. A void had been created where help used to exist. If help is what Michael sought, Ajax was not the place to find it.

Well, if not at the workplace, then where else? Michael had recently seen some ads for finding life’s answers through meditation and yoga. He had several friends who seemed to have a variety of people in their lives helping them. Steve had a life coach, Jessica had a personal trainer, and Josh had just hired a health and nutritional planner. It seemed as if everyone was attempting to seek out the help they needed to become a more successful and happier person.

Michael decided that this was what he was going to do as well. He would seek out those people who could make his life more of what he wanted it to be. He wanted to be more successful and productive in his job and finally begin to move up and ahead at Ajax. He just didn’t think he knew how to get it done. He was ready to start a personal search, a journey, to find that person or persons that had the answers to his problems. At the end of the day, he wanted to own those solutions for himself. His journey was about to begin.

Since Michael was experiencing several troubling problems in his life, he decided that a life coach could be the answer. It certainly sounded like it was the tourniquet he needed to stop the bleeding. Wouldn’t a life coach have the answers to why his life was becoming such a mess? The more he thought about this option, the more excited he became. He remembered that his friend Steve had a life coach. Maybe his coach could fix two lives at the same time. Michael called his friend and got the phone number of Marc Ifics, the life coach. Steve said to call him by his nickname Specs. Everyone did. Specs Ifics was going to save Michael’s life.

Michael nervously dialed 1-800-ANSWERS and was connected to Specs. An appointment time was set for the following morning, and Michael could hardly sleep that night in anticipation that his life’s problems would be resolved that very next morning.

At 8:00 AM, Michael arrived at Ifics’s office. After a brief wait, he met the twenty-seven-year-old, well-dressed, and groomed Specs Ifics. Specs was a statement of details. His black framed glasses with the streaking silver trim seemed to define him. No wonder everyone called him Specs. His gray pants with his blue emblem embossed and red crested blazer with a matching red tie with specs of blue and gray randomly speckled through it made him seem matched to perfection. His white lapel carnation personified the statement that Specs Ifics was a man of detail.

As Michael entered his office, Specs asked, “So how was the drive over?”

“Fine,” Michael replied and noticed that Specs began to show the beginning of a smile.

“What’s going on at work?” Specs continued.

“Actually, it could be better. It could be a lot better,” was Michael’s response.

“Any special someone in your life, Michael?”

“Actually there is. Her name is Kim.” Michael began to sigh. “She came into my life about a year ago, but the relationship has seen better days . . . and nights for that matter.”

Specs then raised his right hand slightly and said, “I believe you have told me enough. I believe you have also told me nothing, although you think you have told me everything. Nothing you have said has been specific. I have no better of an idea about what is going on in your life since you answered my questions than I did before you answered them. Michael, in order to resolve problems, you need to state them specifically. You need to move out of the generic into the specific. You are talking too broadly not only to me but also to yourself. You need to give some specific thought as to how you will describe your issues so that not only I can understand them better, but that more importantly, you will be able to understand them better as well.”

The Compass Concept

Specs went on to describe his compass concept. Michael definitely knew that getting lost in a problem was easy to do. He was living it.

“Michael,” Specs said, “it is much more helpful and productive to have the problem defined in specific terms. Just going in a general direction will eventually ensure that you will become lost and misdirected. Being able to state the problem specifically, having a compass that identifies the specific direction you want to be taking, will allow you to move toward your destination. It is critical that you do not get lost in a blizzard of problems. Knowing where you want to go and what you want to accomplish needs to be a given. Having this as your first step of solution development allows you to begin to identify the specific problem you want to solve.”

Specs went on speaking. “Someone has to be accountable for providing resolutions to your problems. By the process of elimination, that someone is you. But that is the good news. That gives you the control in your life to make what you want to happen, happen. We cannot control other people in our lives, but we can control ourselves. For change to occur, you need to make it happen.”

“Specs, you are absolutely right,” Michael responded. “I can’t even tell you how many times I have been drawn to issues that only bordered the real problem because it was not stated and identified specifically enough. I have felt that at best I was only achieving a Band-Aid effect to the problem, and at worst, I would find myself chasing smoke and putting out brush fires without ever identifying the real issues. All of this has always led to a great deal of wasted time and a tremendous drain on my available energy. In fact, now that I am thinking about it, this process always seems to move me to an increased feeling of hopelessness and despair because I had been consciously trying to resolve my problem and didn’t. Since I was off target in my efforts, however, I would eventually discover that I had failed . . . again. You know, Specs, it’s going through this process of futility that as an end result makes me feel worse rather than better.”

“This is why using specifics in stating your problem will act as our compass,” Specs said, “and provide the needed process to ensure you resolve your problems. Identifying the problem specifically allows you to measure your journey and stay on course.”

Going Grocery Shopping

“Think about this, Michael,” Specs requested. “When was the last time you went into the grocery store just to pick up a few things? Sounds pretty vague, right? And what happened? Did you come out with a basket full of groceries? Did you see things that you just had to buy? Did you get diverted and distracted? Did you wind up getting what you needed? Did you remember what you went in to get in the first place?

“Michael, this is the same random process you are using when trying to resolve your problems. However, in order to get where you want to be, you need to specifically identify where you want to go. In order to solve your problems, you need to specifically identify what your problem is. Wanting to go on vacation is good. Winding up in Detroit when you really wanted to be in San Diego is not. Arriving in the wrong place when working to resolve your problems always leads to greater problems.”

Michael looked thoughtfully at Specs and replied, “I am not appreciated at work. Now I can see that this is a vague statement and could mean many different things to different people. It is therefore absolutely necessary that ‘not being appreciated’ be defined appropriately and accurately. I need to know what is broken in order to fix it. Not being appreciated is a huge concept encompassing a variety of meanings and symptoms. Knowing what this looks like more specifically is going to be vital to the resolution.”

Specs continued, “Michael, you need to understand that most of the time your problems need to be broken down into smaller identified pieces that then will become easier to work with. This is similar to making a specific ‘shopping list’ in order to identify your real problem. It is obviously easier and more productive to work with a concrete, precise complaint rather than a larger, overstated unmanageable complaint. This is why stating the problem specifically is such an important step.

Has Anyone Seen the Energizer Bunny?

“There is a factor that you need to be aware of Michael,” Specs interjected. “You will discover that developing a specific statement of the problem takes energy. You will have to think and work at it in order to move from vagueness to specifics. To accomplish this, however, will take energy. Unfortunately, high energy levels and dealing with problems do not seem to be synonymous.”

“You know, Specs,” Michael thought out loud, “I have always thought that having a low energy level when trying to resolve problems was common. The feeling of being overwhelmed seems to expend my energy level in nonuseful ways. I begin to feel anxious, stressed, and feel the pressure of having an unresolved issue.”

“The problem of dealing with the problem,” Specs added, “is that it uses up your energy in nonproductive ways that could otherwise be available for problem resolution. It is due to this waste of energy that makes it important not to linger and languish with the problem for too long a period of time. You need to recognize that it will be necessary for you to be able to move on with your life, which means moving toward resolving the problem.”

“You will find, Michael,” Specs continued, “that nothing creates new energy and vitality more than being able to see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. Even a slight flicker will allow you to develop hope that an end is potentially in sight. It is this possibility that will then be able to be expanded to develop the reality of a solution. When the problem seems to keep going and going and going, your energy level will seem to abandon you. You will feel burned out. You need to recharge your personal batteries so that you can beat your drum to a new and different tempo. You need to develop a new rhythm, new marching orders leading to a different destination. In order to do so, it is imperative that you are able to see the potential solution. You will then be able to plug into the hope that lies ahead of you rather than the despair you are presently experiencing.

“It is not that you...

Table of contents

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6
• Chapter 7