Curly Conversations for Teams

Dive into discomfort. Dare to do things differently. Deliver despite disruption.

Kate Christiansen

• Publisher: Handson Media
• Year: 2021
• eBook ISBN: 9780994475121
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Leadership
• Index: Business

Curly Conversations for Teams provides a simple, practical framework for leaders and teams who want to think and work more effectively in today's complex environment. It will help you motivate your team to have engaging conversations that will allow them toconfidently and effectively move forwardwhen faced with disruption anduncertainty.

What other leaders say:

'If you want to have energising team conversations that overcome the hidden elements that stifle collaboration, performance, developmentand trust - read this book!' Melinda Benbow-Supply Planning Manager, The Body Shop

'Kate guides us on ways to create a safe environment for teams to ask bold questions, challenge the status quo and create strategies to address the disruption they face.' Anneliese Rhodes - Director Customer Experience, Cisco Systems

'I love this book!Curly Conversations for Teamsis THE playbook for leaders who want support in a world of change and disruption.' AmandaLutvey- Communication & Engagement Specialist, Maven Dental Group

'The practical guides at the back of the book cover most, if not all, of the scenarios any team leader or manager is likely to encounter. A great addition to any leader's handbook!' Geoff Purcell - Chief Technology Officer, Melbourne Water

'Curly Conversations for Teams is a powerful, engaging and wonderful book. A must read for any leader and their team operating in today's constantly changing and disrupted environment' Emma Dyer, HR Manager, Licella Group

'Written in a creative and dynamic way, Curly Conversations for Teams captures the reader's attention with a combination of comparative storytelling, cognitive insights and smart ideas to help us tap into our emotional and adaptable intelligence.' Ricki Vinci, Chief Financial Officer, and Company Secretary, Safe Steps

'Curly Conversations for Teamsis an excellent resource filled with practical solutions to challenges universally faced by teams responding to disruption.' CarolynNoumertzis- Chief Human Resources Officer

PART 4:

Curly Conversation Starters

Build trust

Leaps of greatness require the combined problem-solving ability of people who trust each other.

Simon Sinek

Have you ever considered the difference between a conversation and a chat?

The word ‘conversation’ comes from the Latin term conversari, meaning ‘to live among’. It later evolved in middle English into converse, meaning to ‘live among and be familiar with’. These days, conversation is used to refer to “a talk between two or more people in which thoughts, feelings, and ideas are expressed, questions are asked and answered, or news and information is exchanged”3.

A chat, however, only takes into account the first half of this definition. It refers to “talking in an informal or friendly way”4.

In my experience, great conversations have four characteristics: they engage their participants, invite considered and open contribution and bring people closer together. In addition to this, great conversations trigger positive change.

All these characteristics have a common element threading through them:

Trust.

Without trust, people cling to the certainty of the status quo and resist entering the unknown. They also step back and create distance when the conversation needs them to step forward. Lack of trust also affects the openness of contributions and makes people less likely to listen and say what they think. And finally, when trust is absent, it drives a wedge between people, causing them to become disconnected.

Great conversations help to build trust. However, in order to have great conversations, there needs to be a level of trust to start with. This symbiotic relationship sometimes causes us to become tied up in knots.

There is also another challenge.

Have you ever noticed how, when someone in a team mentions trust, the tension can actually increase?

It can mean that our intentions backfire and instead of building trust, it feels like we lose it?

But how can we have great conversations if we need trust, but can’t talk about it?

I’m a pragmatist, which means that I view the concept of trust through a very practical lens. I’ve also spent many years leading Curly Conversations in some pretty intense, high-stakes situations.

Trust doesn’t happen because we talk about it. Trust happens when we forget about it completely. Instead of talking about it and how much of it we have or don’t have, we focus on learning something, achieving something or building something amazing together. When we do this, trust becomes a natural consequence, not an obstacle.

Trust is a team sport. As soon as we see ourselves as players in the game, not commentators, we create the conditions for trust to emerge on its own.

---

3 CONVERSATION | Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” Cambridge Dictionary | English Dictionary, Translations & Thesaurus, Cambridge Press, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/conversation. Accessed 18 Dec. 2020.

4 CHAT | Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” Cambridge Dictionary | English Dictionary, Translations & Thesaurus, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/chat. Accessed 18 Dec. 2020.

Curly questions to consider

Reflect in pairs

What is trust?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What role do I play in building trust within a team?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Respond as a team

How is this article relevant for us?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What’s the biggest challenge we face at the moment, as a team?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What would happen if each of us approached this challenge from a position of 100 percent trust?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How would it influence our conversations?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________...

Table of contents

• About the author
• Introduction
• A Human Approach
• The Conversation Continuum
• Dip In and Discover
• Curly Conversation Starters