Sorting Out Rachel

David Williamson

• Publisher: Currency Press
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781760623289
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Drama
• Index: Literature

Australia's most well-known playwright returns with a new comedy that demonstrates his continued skill at tapping into the zeitgeist.In Sorting Out Rachel David Williamson steps onto fertile ground with a social comedy about legacy, greed, entitlement and making good on past relationships. 'Australia's most enduringly popular social comedy writer. [His work is] keenly observant and satirical.'—Sydney Morning Herald

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

TESS, a young woman of twenty, who is of part-European, part-First Nations ancestry, is waiting in a cafe in inner Sydney. BRUCE, who is white and in his late sixties, enters. He’s big, bluff, and up-front. With BRUCE what you see is what you get.

TESS: I was just about to go.

BRUCE: Bloody Sydney parking. Can still never find a spot after ten years. Don’t know why I ever came here.

TESS: Dad, you’re practically around the corner. Walk. I had to come by bus and train. Took me over a bloody hour.

BRUCE: So what’s this about? I thought you were never going to talk to me again.

TESS: Not coming to Mum’s funeral? I was totally pissed off.

BRUCE: Molly was in hospital bloody well dying.

TESS: Yes, and you were by her bedside. My mother was dying too.

BRUCE: You had your mob up there with her. Hundreds of them.

TESS: Here.

She hands him a large envelope.

BRUCE: What’s this?

TESS: Hundred-dollar bills. You’ve still been putting money into my account.

BRUCE: Of course I have. You’re my bloody daughter.

TESS: I don’t want your money. I’m doing two part-time jobs. I’m okay.

BRUCE: Okay, I didn’t come to your mum’s funeral but no need to go crazy vindictive on me. Jesus, I’m the first to admit I haven’t been a great father to you, but I came up to see you both as often as I could and had to lie to get away with it.

TESS: I don’t want your money anymore. I’m doing okay.

BRUCE shoves the envelope back to her.

BRUCE: If I could’ve managed to be two places at once I would’ve been there. I sent a huge bloody bunch of flowers. Take the bloody money. You’re my daughter. I love you just as much as I do Julie.

Beat.

TESS: You’ve never said that before.

BRUCE: I’m not good at … wearing my heart on my sleeve.

TESS: You love me?

BRUCE: Yes! So take the bloody money!

TESS: If you didn’t love me you wouldn’t give it?

BRUCE: I’d still give it if I hated your guts, but liking you makes me feel better about it.

TESS: It’s gone down to liking now?

BRUCE: Don’t get all legalistic on me. Take the money.

He shoves the envelope further towards her. She leaves it there.

Your mother was never like this. She was bloody nice.

TESS: I must’ve taken after you.

BRUCE: So what is this about? Just to give me back the money.

TESS: No. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.

BRUCE: About what?

TESS: About me being your daughter but not being your daughter. Or not being allowed to say I’m your daughter.

BRUCE: I couldn’t do it any other way.

TESS: You could’ve but it would’ve meant being honest.

BRUCE: Molly would have been devastated.

TESS: You should’ve thought of that before you started sleeping with my mother.

BRUCE: Look. It wasn’t how you bloody think.

TESS: How was it?

BRUCE: Whatever else I was, I was never a user. I loved your mother.

TESS: Not enough to come to her funeral.

BRUCE: I loved her.

TESS: And Molly too?

BRUCE: Yes!

TESS: Yeah, sure.

BRUCE: Molly was a wonderful wife, but whatever engine drove her it was always on full throttle. If there was any bloody organisation around she made it her business to become its president. Golf club, Country Women’s Association, tennis, arts and crafts centre—your mother was—

TESS: Was what?

BRUCE: Funny, relaxed, took me as I was, but never scared to take the mickey out’ve me. But in a loving way. Look, I didn’t plan for it to happen.

TESS: Well, it did. Can you imagine how my mother felt? Housekeeper and nanny...