When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video

How to Break the Pattern of People Pleasing and Confidently Live Your Life

Karen Ehman

• Publisher: HarperChristian Resources
• Year: 2022
• eBook ISBN:
  9780310082774
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Mental Health & Wellbeing

Do you struggle with people-pleasing? Learn how to develop a Biblically-centered strategy for knowing when to say yes and how to say no.

Karen Ehman knows firsthand how people-pleasing locks us in a prison, trapping us in unhealthy habits which distract us from our true selves and our God-given purpose. With honesty and practical wisdom, Ehman explores why we fall into people-pleasing behaviors and offers advice for how we can break out into the freedom God has called us to. Because the truth is we cannot fulfill our divine purpose if we’re too busy living everyone else’s.

In this six-session video Bible study filled with vulnerable and humorous stories, biblical insight, and encouragement from someone who’s been there, Ehman will help you:

• Discover how to live out your priorities despite the opinions and expectations of others
• Cultivate a strategy for knowing when to say yes and how to say no
• Implement boundaries with the pushers, pouters, guilt-bombers and others who try to call the shots in your life
• Learn to navigate the tension between following God and loving the people around you

When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable is the Bible study you need to quit the pleasing game, reclaim your life, and walk with God in peace and confidence.

Sessions and Run Times:

1. People Pleasing (20 mins)
2. Just Who Is Calling the Shots? (23 mins)
3. To Tell the Truth (18 mins)
4. You're Capable, but Are You Called? (20 mins)
5. Must Be Nice (20 mins)
6. Your People and Your Punch List (20 mins)

This study guide has everything you need for a full Bible study experience, including:

• The study guide itself - video teaching notes, group discussion questions, Scripture memory verses and personal study of Scripture and context.
• An individual access code to stream all six video sessions online (you don't need to buy a DVD!).

Streaming video access code included. Access code subject to expiration after 12/31/2027. Code may be redeemed only by the recipient of this package. Code may not be transferred or sold separately from this package. Internet connection required. Void where prohibited, taxed, or restricted by law. Additional offer details inside.

Session One
The Prison of People Pleasing

Session One Memory Verse

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)

Welcome to week one of When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable. My greatest hope and deepest prayer is that you will learn how important it is to not put people in the place of God but allow him to be the one who calls the shots in your life; that he alone will be the one you are aiming to please with your words and your actions. God’s Word has so much to teach us about this crucial endeavor that will help us to break the pattern of people pleasing and instead live our lives with confidence. So, let’s dive right in and learn together. I am so thankful you have joined us!

Video: Busting Out of the Prison of People Pleasing (21 MINUTES)

Play the video teaching segment for session one. As you watch, record any thoughts or concepts that stand out to you in the outline that follows.

Notes

The topic of people pleasing is found in Scripture. Perhaps the most relevant verse is Galatians 1:10: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

[Your Response Here]

One day Karen felt God urging her, “Sweetheart, I’m calling you to have a summer of ‘necessary’ and ‘no.’”

[Your Response Here]

As we view the actions of King Herod, chronicled in Matthew 14, we sense that he had the disease to please.

[Your Response Here]

Herod didn’t walk in the fear of the Lord. Instead, he feared the crowds—or on some occasions, certain individuals—which made him act in direct contrast to what he truly believed.

[Your Response Here]

Proverbs 29:25 declares that the fear of humans is a snare. In the Hebrew language, the word translated to snare is moqesh. This refers to a trapping device for prey, but it also conveys the concept of bait or a lure that entices, reels in, and then drags its victim away.

[Your Response Here]

The Greek word areskó in Galatians 1:10 is transliterated to English as please. At its core, it means “to agree to satisfy another in order to win their approval, affection, or attention; to meet their expectations; to willingly serve.”

[Your Response Here]

There are two different words for fear in the Old Testament—charadah and yirah. Charadah means to react with immense anxiety or to tremble with great dread. Yirah is defined as responding with extreme awe and thoughtful reverence.

[Your Response Here]

We are all tempted to devour lies when our hearts are unhappy and our souls are hungry.

[Your Response Here]

You do not need their permission to do God’s will.

[Your Response Here]

Spotted on a sweatshirt:
“You can’t please everyone. You’re not pizza.”

Group Discussion (30–40 MINUTES)

Take a few minutes to discuss what you just watched in the teaching video session.

1. What part of the video teaching stood out or had the greatest impact on you?

[Your Response Here]

2. When it comes to people pleasing, would you say you generally struggle with it overall in your life or just with a particular person or two? Explain your answer.

[Your Response Here]

3. Has there ever been a time when you, like Karen, felt utterly trapped in the prison of people pleasing with no way out in sight? Briefly share what happened.

[Your Response Here]

4. Take turns having one person from the group look up each of the following verses and passages listed below. In the space after each verse, take a moment to record as many observations as you can about its content after it is read.

• Galatians 1:10

[Your Response Here]

• Romans 12:1–2

[Your Response Here]

• 1 Thessalonians 2:3–6

[Your Response Here]

• John 12:42–43

[Your Response Here]

• Colossians 3:23–24

[Your Response Here]

• Acts 5:28–29

[Your Response Here]

Are there any guidelines for interacting with others that you can draw out of these verses—both for what to do and what not to do? Take a moment to choose one guideline and list it below, along with which verse you drew the guideline from. Here is one as an example:

Galatians 1:10: When asked to take on a task or responsibility, before giving the answer, I need to ask myself, “If I say yes, is it because I am trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?”

Verse: ____________

Guideline: ________________________________________________

5. Take turns having group members share some of the different guidelines for interacting with others, along with their corresponding verses.

[Your Response Here]

6. Which of the guidelines just shared do you most need to implement in your life and why?

[Your Response Here]

7. Discuss your thoughts on King Herod that Karen mentioned. Did you learn something new? How did looking at his behavior puzzle, challenge, or motivate you?

[Your Response Here]

8. Karen talked about the Hebrew word for a snare: moqesh. This is a trapping device for prey, but it also conveys the concept of bait or a lure that entices, reels in, and then drags its victim away. Have you ever felt trapped by your words or actions because you wanted the approval or admiration of someone else? Briefly tell what happened.

[Your Response Here]

9. Karen mentioned the two different words in the Hebrew language for fear. Charadah means to react with immense anxiety or trembling with great dread. Yirah is defined as to respond with extreme awe and thoughtful reverence. So, we should not react with charadah (anxiety and dread) toward others, but we should respond in yirah (extreme awe and reverence) toward God. Share with the group ...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Streaming Video Access
• Ebook Instructions
• Contents
• How to Use This Guide
• Session 1: The Prison of People Pleasing
• Session 2: Just Who Is Calling the Shots?
• Session 3: To Tell the Truth
• Session 4: You’re Capable, But Are You Called?
• Session 5: Must Be Nice
• Session 6: Your People and Your Punch List
• A Final Word from Karen
• Additional Resources
• Scripture Memory Verses