Miss Independent

A Simple 12-Step Plan to Start Investing and Grow Your Own Wealth

Nicole Lapin

• Publisher: HarperCollins Leadership
• Year: 2022
• eBook ISBN: 9781400226337
• Topic: Commerce
• Subtopic: Finances personnelles

Wall Street Journal BESTSELLER

New York Times bestselling author of Rich Bitch and renowned money expert Nicole Lapin makes investing accessible and fun so women can make bank and become Miss Independent.

You’ve worked hard for your money and now it’s time for your money to work for you. You will never earn or budget your way into real wealth. Growing your money significantly doesn’t require starting with a lot of money. It requires a little bit of knowledge about taking smart risks and as much time as possible to take advantage of the glorious power of compound interest, which Einstein refers to as the eighth wonder of the world.

From automating your savings to easy, no-stress investing strategies, Nicole will teach you how to take your financial knowledge and portfolio to the next level and start you on your journey to your ultimate destination: true financial independence.

In Miss Independent, you will learn:

• The freedom that wealth affords you, whether it’s the ability to leave a crappy job or significant other, go on the vacation of your dreams or otherwise live life on your own terms. 
• The best method for establishing your “number”—the amount of wealth you want to accumulate before you retire—and getting it.
• The meaning of the most common investing terms, like stocks and bonds, (and some more exotic ones like REITs or cryptocurrency) and how to make them work to your advantage.
• The ins and outs of big financial decisions and concepts, like taking out a mortgage, owning investment properties, and buying life insurance.

Miss Independent takes the fear out of money management and investing once and for all. Using her own vulnerable stories and her signature conversational style, let Nicole show you all the different ways and paths that you can take to become financially free at last.

PART I

STEP 1

FIND YOUR POWER

What’s Your Money Problem?

I don’t hate many things in life, but clichés are high on the list. Why? Because they are so commonly said that people don’t stop to question them.

Well, I question everything. In fact, I question (and often refute) pretty much all conventional wisdom, especially when it comes to finances.¹ But, I will make one exception for this tried-and-true cliché: money is power. Because money is power—perhaps the most powerful power there is. And it’s one that can easily be yours.

Think of the power of money as a tool. And just like you can use a hammer to build a house, you can use the same hammer to tear it down. Superpowers can be used for good or evil, and so can money; it can control you or you can control it. We, of course, are going to control it and use it for good. In this step, I will help you reframe your perceptions about money and show you how to take control of it so that the reverse never happens again.

UNMINDFUCK YOURSELF

There is very little else so emotionally charged as money. Not politics (unless it’s about money). Not religion. Not much.

It’s a mindfuck when people have money because they feel guilty about it. It’s a mindfuck for people who don’t have money because they feel ashamed about it. The full-force mindfuckery around money happens no matter what. And the only way it stops is if you reclaim its power for yourself.

Of course, everyone has free will and the power to make their own choices. But as we have already determined, money is what ignites that power. When you have it, your choices become more numerous and substantial. And when you don’t, they become much more limited.

So, what kind of choices are important to you? What kind of power do you want wealth to give you? Maybe it’s the choice to work because you want to and love it, not because you have to. Maybe it’s the choice of where you want to live or travel, without limitations, or to help people you love or groups in need. Maybe it’s the choice to leave a shitty relationship because you don’t have to be stuck with someone who supports you financially. Or, as is the case with Beyoncé, maybe it’s the choice to run the world. Hard stop.

The choices that money affords us are more valuable than the money itself. Those choices buy you freedom. And the lack of that has likely been the basis of many of your past moves and relationships, even if you haven’t yet realized it, as mindfucks often go.

YOU’VE HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG

One of the main reasons I felt called to write this book is because too many women have told me that managing money is “a guy thing.” Or worse, they’ve shared with me that they are staying in a horrible home situation because they don’t have money of their own to leave with.² Girl, what?! Men are certainly not the only ones who can grow their wealth or use it to their advantage. In fact, data has shown that women have proven to be superior investors, which isn’t surprising given that they make 85 percent of consumer purchases and thus have better insight into demand. Demand drives sales and sales drive stocks. Numbers don’t lie—guys aren’t better investors at all; they just talk about it more than we do. Whatever the hell you think they know that’s so special or difficult is all within your reach. But only if you grab for it.

It’s not a coincidence that we think differently about money than our male peers. This starts at a young age. Girls are typically told to be prudent and save their money, whereas boys are taught to go after good jobs and build their wealth. While it’s not the rule, and there are always exceptions, studies say it’s the most common theme of money conditioning among children. So, as adults, women are cutting back on the lattes and opting for at-home hair dye (just don’t), whereas men are out there, looking for investment opportunities and constantly watching the job market. We’ve also seen that women, in particular, express a greater sense of negativity around their finances and managing money than men do. In a recent survey, nearly half of the women associated negative words—like fear, anxiety, inadequacy, and dread—with financial planning, compared to less than a third of the men.³

To make matters worse, every time a Disney princess finds her prince, or a Hallmark movie features a woman-unlucky-in-love who finds The One, part of the “happily ever after” is that he is going to take care of her. He’ll pay for all the things and keep her safe. We eat it up like rocky road ice cream at the end of a stressful day. But here’s the thing: What those movies don’t tell you is that the prince sometimes turns out to be a frog and The One may not stick around forever. You truly only have yourself till death do you part. And the real princesses—make that queens—are the ones with palaces of their own.

The truth is, as smart as we are, as badass as we are, as truly “women’s lib” as we are, some small part of us was raised to believe that we’d marry a rich man and he would take care of us.⁴ If you’ve never had that thought, then you are either a stronger woman than I am or you’re lying to yourself.

Think back to the people you’ve been with (or are currently with) and ask yourself: Would the dynamics of my relationships be different if I went into them with a fat inheritance or were otherwise financially set on my own? Or if I got a big promotion or came into money while I was in it? Would I have put myself first more often? Would I have put up with less shit? If money wasn’t a factor, would I have chosen differently?

For a few lucky ladies, the answer is “no,” but for the rest of us, I’ll answer first: yes, 100 percent yes.

We must break this cycle. In Step 12: Keep It Together, I’ll talk much more about some precautions you can take for yourself and your money, including prenups, insurance, and wills—but for now, just know that I will not stand by and let you go to your deathbed regretting that you stayed in a bad situation or didn’t go after the love you wanted and deserved because you weren’t brave enough to do something about it. Whether it’s subtle or it screams, money changes the balance of power in all relationships—especially romantic ones. (Hello, I have a show called Hush Money that’s based around that very premise.⁵)

FYI

In Sweden, the median income for women is close to parity with the median income of men. As a result, men have been found to share in the chores, child care, and cooking in more equal measure than anywhere else in the world. And women there spend less time doing housework now than they did twenty years ago, from five hours per day in 1990 to just four hours per day today.⁶ That sixty minutes may not sound like a lot, but as I’ve discussed in all my books, time truly is your most valuable asset, in investing as in life. Here in the United States, women spend the equivalent of ninety-five more eight-hour work days per year on unpaid work than men, which adds up to almost $1.5 trillion (with a “T”) in unpaid labor.⁷

As Cher once famously recalled: “My mom said to me, ‘You know, sweetheart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man,’ and I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man.’”⁸

By the end of this book, you will be able to confidently call yourself “rich,” not just by the numbers in your net worth (you’ll have those, too, my dear), but also with everything that money comes with, including the power of choice. Choice with lots of options. And once that happens, the way you go into any new relationship will change for the better.

Of course, this ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Introduction
• Part I
• Part II
• Acknowledgments
• Dictionary
• Notes
• Index
• About the Author