CHAPTER ONE
SEAN BENNING HAD PUT IN HIS TIME. HE COULDNāT RISK BEING caught in another conversation about ERB percentiles and afterschool activities that cost more than he made in a month. Forty-five minutes was his limit. He downed the dregs of his second gin and tonic before ditching the glass on a mirrored tabletop, all the while clutching his jacket in the other hand. He cast a longing look at the front door, which glowed like a vision through a sudden parting in the overdressed crowd. He allowed himself to be pulled toward it, his pulse slowing with the knowledge that heād be out soon.
āThere you are,ā a voice growled. A tanned hand grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back. Jolted from his vision of escape, he spun around, almost slamming into a shiny white armoire that was camouflaged in the all-white room. Cheryl Eisner stood too close, her dark eyes softer, drunker, than heād seen them. āIāve been looking for you,ā she said, her voice rising above the party chitchat.
He panicked. āThe Annual Fund donations,ā he said, stalling. āTheyāre not due yet, are they?ā But he knew theyād been due last week. āI lost the form.ā Not that he was planning on giving the school a cent above the thirty-eight thousand dollars his in-laws were already paying. He couldnāt fathom the income youād need to live decently in New York, pay full freight for even one kidāthough who had just one these days?āplus make a big donation to the school every year. But people did it. Lots of people.
Cheryl frowned and shooed away the topic with a graceful swat of the air. āLetās not talk about the Annual Fund. Itās too boring.ā Her son, Marcus, was in Tobyās class. Until tonight, Sean had only seen her in tight designer workout clothes at school pickup and drop-off. Now, she wore a fitted gold dress. With the heels, she must have been six-two, almost eye level. Looking a woman in the eye like this was rare, and strangely exciting. She focused on his jacket. āYouāre not going, are you?ā She touched the bare skin just below her clavicle and above the two scoops of cleavage being offered on the gold tray of her dress.
It was almost distracting enough to make him forget the front door.
He tried not to stare as she stroked her own skin. āI was just heading out.ā Were they real? Fake? Tobyās face popped into his head like a censored bar over her breasts. āMy ⦠the sitter ⦠Iāve got to get back,ā he stumbled.
She gave him a strange smile and pulled him past the parents of Tobyās classmates, who he barely recognized in their party attire, toward a table spread with caviar and blini. āFirst, youāve got to try this,ā she said. Somehow heād missed the food on his first sweep of the room. She plunged her index finger into the ornate crystal bowl and held a dripping fingerful of caviar in front of his lips. He was famished, but he pressed them closed instinctively. Marcus had always been a nervous kid. He could see why. āGo ahead,ā she cooed. āLet me in.ā
If she hadnāt looked so determined, poised with fish eggs on her finger, he would have been sure this was all a joke. At every turn, parents gossiped, laughed, and shrieked at each othersā witty anecdotes. He hadnāt heard one witty anecdote the entire evening. The good news was that nobody seemed to be watching him. Still, what was he doing? Was she actually coming on to him?
Cheryl waited patiently.
Really, what choice did he have? He opened his mouth and she thrust her finger inside. The little black eggs exploded with sickeningly salty pops as he remembered he hated caviar. She ran her finger along the roof of his mouth and around his upper lip and by the time she removed it, he felt like heād had some kind of internal exam.
She plucked two glasses from the bar. āNow we have to drink champagne.ā
A waiter had handed him a drink the moment he walked through the door. A second drink had magically appeared shortly after that. He was comfortably numb. Any more alcohol would push him toward drunk. āIām okay,ā he said. Besides, why would he drink champagne with Marcusās hot mother? Wasnāt that a bad idea?
āCome on.ā She pressed the champagne glass into his hand. āI have a toast. Please?ā
āSure,ā he said, charmed by the please. āWhat are we toasting?ā
āTo Wonder Dad,ā she said with an ironic smile. āThe man who does it all.ā
āTrust me, Iām notāā
āDrink,ā she demanded. āItās my toast.ā
He wasnāt Wonder Dad. Didnāt want to be Wonder Dad. He wasnāt sure he wanted to be toasting with Cheryl at all. But he drank nonetheless. The champagne tickled going down. āIāll see you at school,ā he said with an apologetic smile. āIāve got to get back.ā
He took a few steps toward the door before she dropped the bomb. āYouāve heard about the new teacher, right?ā
He stopped. Turned. āThey found a new teacher?ā
She nodded in slow motion and didnāt let go of his gaze. She waited while he digested the information.
A real teacher could turn everything around for Toby. He retraced his steps on the white shag carpet. āWho is she? When does she start?ā
āItās a little loud out here,ā Cheryl said, and walked away from him. After a moment, she looked back to summon him with a sideways glance. Like a dog chasing a bone, he followed her past a mixed media installation that looked an awful lot like the one heād seen last year at the Whitney. This wasnāt a living room, it was an Architectural Digest spread. How could you raise kids in an all-white room? What about crayons, ketchup, barf?
He rounded the corner and when he didnāt see her, he panicked that heād lost his line to the only piece of gossip he cared about.
A stage whisper hit him from the guest bathroom. āIn here.ā
Against his better judgment, he followed her voice into the room that blazed with tiny spotlights suspended from thin wires. She locked the door behind him and propped her ass against the sink. āMuch quieter,ā she said.
He couldnāt help laughing at that one. āIt is a quiet room.ā A candle on a glass shelf made the bathroom smell like pumpkin pie. He liked pumpkin pie. Still, it was weird. He leaned against a monogrammed towel. āSo.ā He looked at her and wondered if he was really going to go through with this.
She kicked off her heels and rubbed his calf with her foot. āSo what?ā
āSo what do you know about the new teacher?ā
āSheās not from New York.ā Cheryl hooked her finger through his belt loop and tugged. Subtlety was not Cherylās forte. But she had other qualities.
He took a step toward her. āWhatās her name?ā Turning the banal conversation into something like foreplay was easier than heād anticipated.
āJessica Harper.ā She pushed him away an armās length and cast her brown eyes down. Not to the ground. āShe starts Monday.ā She pulled him close again, running her hands down his chest and around his back. It had been a long time since someone had touched him like this. Touched him at all. He hadnāt realized how much he missed it. Soon, her hands traveled down to his ass, which she began to massage. Almost as soon as she did, it began vibrating.
āAnswer it,ā she said, running both hands down the backs of his thighs. āIt might be Toby.ā
Toby was probably fine. Almost definitely fine. āI can call him back ā¦ā
She slid the phone out of his back pocket and opened it, holding it to his ear. Say hello, she mouthed, and traced her finger down his chest.
āHello?ā he said, locking eyes with her and wondering when his life had become this strange.
āWhy arenāt you calling me back?ā Ellieās voice hit him like a bucket of cold water. He must have backed away from Cheryl, because she tightened her hold on him. Undeterred, she teased her hand under his shirt.
āWe need to talk about this medication thing,ā Ellie was saying.
āI canāt talk right now. This isnāt a good timeāā
āThereās never a good time,ā Ellie snapped. āThis is our childās health.ā
āLook, Ellie, Iām never putting him on that stuff. Never.ā Heād been louder than he meant to be and made an effort to bring down the volume. āConversationās over.ā
āGrow up, Sean.ā Ellieās voice condescended through the phone from wherever she was. āDr. Shinemanās email said he might need to be on Ritalin. You canāt just ignore that. Get him evaluated. Jesus. Itās a no-brainer. See what a doctor has to say, then we make the decision.ā
Cheryl pinched his nipples, which would have felt great if Ellie hadnāt been yelling in his ear. āThe no-brainer,ā he said, āis that you have no say in this. You gave that up when you disappeared.ā Cheryl lifted his shirt and started biting at his abs. The game was kind of fun. He tried to stay on point. āI really have to go. You caught me right in the middle of something.ā
āDonāt you dare hang up onāā
He flipped the phone closed and threw it on the fluffy bathmat.
āTrouble on the ranch?ā Cheryl asked between kisses that seemed to be heading south along his abdomen.
He wasnāt going to let Ellie mess up whatever this was. Sheād messed up too much already. āWrong number,ā he said, and Cheryl seemed to appreciate the absurdity of the lie.
āI hate when that happens.ā
āVery inconvenient,ā he said, and tried to blot out Ellieās voice, their conversation, the image of her that was now lodged in his mind. āSo ⦠where were we?ā
āThe new teacher.ā Cherylās smile came off as a challenge.
āRight. The new teacher.ā He leaned against the basin, his face inches from hers. āSo. What kind of credentials does she have?ā
āExcellent,ā Cheryl said, breathily. āTheyāre excellent.ā He wondered if all parent socials were this social and if it had been a good idea to let Ellie come to these alone for so many years. He now had a clear view down Cherylās dress. There they were again. He fought the urge to squeeze them.
Then he thought: Why? Ellie had walked out on him. He and Cheryl were adults who happened to be primed for sex and conveniently locked in this fancy bathroom for exactly that reason. This kind of thing didnāt happen every day. In fact, nothing like this had ever happened to him. Not to mention it had been a hell of a long time since heād had sex. He missed itācraved it. Forget everything else that was messed up with Ellie being goneānot being able to have sex was by far the worst. He deserved this random encounter. He should push away all the doubt and just go with it. Liking Cheryl was not required. And she was making it so easy. There was no room for misinterpretation, just a clear and straightforward invitationāverging on an orderāto screw her.
She yanked on his belt buckle and a laser-like flash blinded him. When he got his vision back, he realized that the gumball-size rock on her finger was reflecting the overhead lights into rainbow beams. Kind of like a superhero ring. Heād never seen Cherylās husband and now he was forced to wonder how big the guy was and if he could throw a punch. Then he remembered she was married to a famous neurosurgeon who traveled around the world saving lives. A guy like that would never risk messing up his hands.
āHe doesnāt care,ā she said. She was a mind reader, too, apparently. āWe have an understanding.ā
An understanding sounded complicated. Or very simple. Who was he to argue with an understanding? He helped her undo his jeans and she pressed herself against him. She slid her tongue into his mouth and for the second time in fifteen minutes he felt like he was being probed.
His body wanted to plunge ahead, but his brain kept nagging at him. He could still walk away. He could walk away from this incredibly hot woman who wanted him. But he was a single father now, he reminded himself. It was hard to meet women. Besides, he might not have a chance like this again anytime soon if he didnāt jump on itājump on Cherylāright now.
It turned out he didnāt even need to make the decision. Cheryl was already sinking to her knees. He watched the top of her head tilt as she lowered her glossed lips onto him.
He couldnāt help letting out a groan. It had been four months since anyone had touched, much less handled, him with such authority. And to think, heād almost ditched the party. Heād remembered to prepare Tobyās dinner. Heād gotten Toby in the shower early, but heād completely forgotten about hiring a babysitter.
āOh well,ā heād told Toby only two hours ago. āGuess Iāll have to skip it.ā
āCall Gloria in 6A,ā heād countered. āSheās always free.ā
āWhy donāt we play Monopoly instead? You can win.ā
āItās how Mom used to get me playdates,ā Toby said, reasonably. āYou have to go.ā
Life was so unfair when you were a grownup and so simple when you were an eight-year-old kid. Sean had dialed Gloriaās number, which Toby had written down for him on a Famiglia Pizza napkin that had come with his dinner. Heād go, but he wouldnāt like it. The whole thing had sounded like a gigantic waste of time, not to mention boring.
So heād been wrong on that last point. Cherylās mouth was now vibrating with encouraging moans. She really didnāt need to be so encouraging. In fact, he realized, panicking, everything was moving too fast. He thought of dead puppies, Tobyās tutoring bills. His in-laws. None of it was working. He was dangerously close. He had to stall. He pulled away, hoisted her onto the speckled stone counter that surrounded the sunken basin of the sink and unzipped her dress. He was not going to leave the parent social without knowing if they were real. It would also buy him recovery time. If he was going to make the monumental mistake he was about to make, he was sure as hell going to make it last.
Heād always assumed silicone would be a turnoff. How wrong heād been. They were dense, fun to play withāa little like water balloons but softer and they stood up all by themselves.
Condoms. It had been years since heād needed a condom. But he needed one now, and fas...