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Chapter 1
You Were Born to Perform
Why do some people take the stage in life, while others hesitate? That is the magic question that faces our entire society. Parents wonder why some children perform and others hold back. Educators are equally perplexed, spending countless hours (and dollars) trying to motivate performance in students. And despite the myriad of books and systems guaranteeing better performance and productivity, most businesses still struggle to find the right formula that works long term. While most of our programming and efforts in the past several years have focused on group or team performance, one central issue still remains. We cannot escape the fact that performance (or lack thereof) is fundamentally an individual decision.
David L. Hancock & Bobby Kipper
Start with Status QuoâBut Donât Stay There!
Without pointing fingers or getting judgmental, weâre going to observe the people around us to get a feel for our tendency to settle for the status quo. In the space below, take note of where you see people around youâat home, at work, in your dayâs activities, in the news, etc.ââsettleâ for the status quo. Bonus points if you catch yourself doing it. It can look like:
- âFeelings over Everythingââeveryone gets a trophy; nobody wins or loses
- âRadical Egalitarianismââeveryone gets paid the same regardless of effort or conduct
- âTall Poppy Syndromeââcontempt for people who stand out or go the extra mile
- âElephant in the Roomââeveryone avoids confronting an obvious issue or problem
- âThe Squeaky Wheel Gets Replaced Firstââkeeping silent when you should speak
- âWeâve always done it this way, so weâll always do it this wayââresistance to change
Notes
Desire and Will: Questions for Reflection
1. Did you notice yourself or anyone else enforce or avoid disruption of the status quo? Do you think they did so passively, or by making decisions?
2. When you observe these situations, do you notice how people can be physically present, and still not perform? Do you see how they can have an opportunity in front of them and be immobilized, because they donât know how to think about it?
Performance-Driven Thinking: The thought process that connects desire to perform with the will to perform a specific task or goal.
3. Using this definition, which quality do you think was lacking more in the situations you observed: desire, or will?
Desire
4. Can you think of a situation in your life where you have a desire to perform, but lack the will? Do you want better physical shape, performance at work, or stronger relationshipsâbut canât make it happen?
5. Have you ever felt motivated to achieve something, only to discover the path to your dream was filled with boring, repetitive work that seemed like a road to nowhere?
Will
6. What about when you have the will, but not the desire? If you received a poor or mediocre grade in school, did your teacher ever say something like, âYouâre capable of whatever you put your mind to doingâ?
7. Without desire, willpower will not last. Have you ever set out to accomplish something, only to find yourself on a hamster wheel where the goalposts keep moving every time you get close to a goal set for you by others?
8. Do you have a âNot To-Doâ list, to help you eliminate things that you can, but should not do? Would you agree we âsurrenderâ a lot of our lives by willingly doing things that arenât connected to our desires?
A Change in the Dream. The original âAmerican Dreamâ was simply to find food and shelter. After the Industrial Revolution, it evolved into having a house, a job and financial security. After World War II, it mutated into seeking a fortune, security, expansion and power. But that collapsed at the dawn of the twenty-first century, and the internet age brought a new version. It is now our dream to find satisfying work, sufficient funds to escape freedom from financial worry, health good enough to take for granted, family or community of love and support, fun in daily living, and living long enough to appreciate it all with wisdom.
9. If you agree with all (or part) of this version of the American Dream, do you think it is likely to manifest itself automatically, or will you have to change how you think to make it a reality?
10. Do you have dreams or desires that youâve thrown away or burned? Do you feel as though responsibilities like paying bills or caring for loved ones have âcanceledâ them?
Hopefully, these questions have you thinking and meditating on possibilities. In the next chapter, weâll tackle some big obstacles to Performance-Driven Thinking.
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Chapter 2
When Everybody Gets A Trophy
The important issue to grasp is that ...
