The Pursuit of Time and Money

Step into Radical Abundance and Discover the Secret to a Meaningful Prosperous Life

Sharon L. Spano

• Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781683503224
• eBook ISBN: 9781683503231
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

The Pursuit of Time and Money explores the relationship between time and money and how those hidden dimensions impact perspectives and choices. The goal is to help people in business transform their relationship with time and money so they can let go of fear and scarcity and experience a more meaningful and prosperous experience of life. Sharon Spano explores the paradox of time and money from a human developmental lens that supports people in transformational change.

Part I

THE CHALLENGE: DEVELOPING AWARENESS OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS

1

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TIME AND MONEY

The large room is buzzing with people from all walks of life. The event is a local cocktail party intended to raise money for a worthy cause. People are standing in circles quietly talking about a variety of topics. As I move through the crowd, I listen in and notice that some are discussing politics. Some are reflecting upon the latest news. But a great many of them are talking about what a rough week they’ve had and how exhausted they are. One person talks about her frustration with the slow service at a local restaurant. A man is worried about the increase in his son’s college tuition. A few people in the banking industry are discussing the GNP and the sudden drop in the stock market. I move across the room to another group of people.

There, a woman is speaking about a new position with an increase in salary—a job she can’t refuse. This new job requires a move across country. She’s not sure how she’ll manage a move this dramatic, but she’s not at all concerned. “It will all work out,” she says. “Things always do.” On this side of the room, someone else shares a completely different perspective on the global economy. With confidence, he talks about all things being cyclical. I nod my head and marvel at the many different perspectives.

Clearly, time and money are part of every ongoing conversation in the room, but how is it that some see the glass half empty while others see the glass half full? And, given my own set of circumstances, where exactly does my story fall in the conversation?

Listen long and hard enough and you’ll quickly see that in this cocktail party called life, people are talking. Not just talking, but are, in fact, driven by time and money. Each and every day of our lives, we’re confronted with a variation of this conversation—in one form or another.

If time and money are in our faces this often and with such intensity, it might just be worth your while to pay attention—and not just pay attention, but make a decision as to where you stand on the matter. Although the example here represents a setting with external conversations about time and money, each of us engages in similar internal dialogue on a day-to-day basis. Those internal conversations about time and money can have a profound effect on our overall personal and professional satisfaction. My study and research has identified that those who have more positive internal conversations about time and money may experience greater overall satisfaction and joy. While those who engage in more negative internal conversations about time and money may experience greater stress in every area of their life.

Time and Money are Interrelated

While it may seem as though many of our life conversations are about either time or money, research in the field of human development strongly suggests that our experience with time and money may be closely interrelated. One impacts the other in many ways. If I’m chasing time, there’s a very good chance that I’m chasing money and vice versa. Much of what we do, say, or experience is impacted by both time and money.

So, while time and money are two separate, very different aspects of everyday life, I speak to them as closely connected ideas. My study and research has shown that in their internal conversations about time and money, some people experience the old adage, “time is money” in making many daily choices. Throughout most of their days—and lives—these people may experience stress, frustration, and perhaps even the pain of time and money as one aspect of life—a day-by-day experience, if you will, that has the potential to either bring them freedom or catapult them into fear.

Let’s go back to that cocktail party. Put yourself in the middle of the room. Which of those conversations would you like to join?

Would you prefer to stand in the conversation that focuses on how you’ll never have enough time to get it all done and there’s never enough money to do the things you’d love to enjoy? Or, would you prefer to join in the conversation that there is enough—of everything. You have enough time for loved ones, recreation, travel, work, your health, and on the list goes. And, you have enough money to feel safe, secure, generous, grateful, and compassionate towards others? The reality is that both conversations are going on in our minds as we live out our everyday lives whether we realize it or not. Most of us move in and out of these conversations at a subconscious level so often that we rarely notice how easily we’re motivated or defeated by this internal dialogue.

Here’s the good news. You can choose the conversation. You can choose which group of people you prefer hanging out with at this cocktail party called life. And, the even better news is that when you consciously choose that conversation, your reality will change.

Your Perspectives on Time and Money Can Help You Achieve a Bigger Life

Let’s dive a bit deeper then into the source of our internal conversations on time and money and how they influence our lives. The first step is to achieve greater self-awareness and identify your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes associated with time and money. In my experience, these aspects dictate your actions and, ultimately, your level of fulfillment because they influence the choices you make and the things you to do or don’t do.

Sometimes, this self-awareness makes people uncomfortable or unsure about what’s next. That’s okay. Any doubts or voices of uncertainty are part of the awareness/discovery process. It’s not about beating yourself up for past choices. As I like to remind my clients: With the first moment of awareness comes opportunity for change. Without self-awareness, it’s often difficult to know what changes to make. This book is designed to help you develop greater self-awareness such that you make the necessary changes.

In fact, my study and research indicates that many people experience internal stress about time and money in some form or fashion. Even those people who feel they generally have a positive internal dialogue on time and money and a healthy approach to life admit to experiencing stress. Becoming self-aware is a powerful first step to minimize those stress points, even for those with a generally positive mindset.

Considering new possibilities and the secret to achieving a deeper, more meaningful life, can help you no matter what your current perspective. We all have room for improvement and new perspectives. Whether you’re someone who feels like you’re living the chase or you’re someone who’s got it all together, I can promise you that you can discover new and better ways to experience time and money.

The Chase is Stronger and Faster than Ever Before

Going through the exercises and reflective practices I share with you in this book is more important now than ever before. In this fast-paced world that requires us to respond to every text message, email, phone call, solicitation, and deadline on a second’s notice, the question is less about if you experience stress, frustration, negative energy, anxiety, and maybe even pain and suffering. The question is now about how often are these negative thoughts and emotions running your life?

In the history of the world, I doubt that any group of people has ever felt as driven as those in our society today. Yes, other civilizations have experienced stress about time and money, but that pressure was often limited to demands placed upon them within one isolated town, community, region, state, or nation. Today, the demands of time and money hit us instantaneously on a global level. The Information Age has generated an immediate need for us to have knowledge about everything in an instant, and we’re expected to respond immediately or the world moves on without us.

But, that immediacy and interconnectedness also provides never-before-seen opportunities. We can share information faster and to a wider population than ever before. More importantly, research indicates that, as it relates to time and money, you can choose to pursue time and money in healthier ways. Again, I’m hoping you’ll come to realize that your experience of time and money has absolutely nothing to do with how little or how much time and money you actually have. Hold on tightly to this paradoxical premise as we dig deeper into the conversation.

Bottom line: You can change your mind, and in doing so, you can change your life. The promise is a meaningful, prosperous life beyond your wildest imagination.

Reflective Practice:

This first segment of reflective practice is designed to help you develop greater awareness of your thoughts and behaviors in relation to time and money. Chapter 1 focuses on the interrelationship between time and money. This practice is designed to help you pay close attention to your internal and external dialogue with respect to time and money.

Over the next seven days, concentrate on at least one scenario each day where you find yourself addressing a time or money situation. For example, maybe while having lunch with a colleague, during a budgetary meeting, or while out shopping with a friend.

At the end of each day, spend 10-15 minutes journaling your responses to the following questions:

• During these situations, what thoughts or emotions surfaced for you in relation to time and/or money?

• What decisions or choices did you make (or not make) as a result?

• How did you feel as a result of the choices you made?

• At the end of the seven days, review your journal entries and take note of any patterns that arose with respect to your experience of time and money.

2

WHY WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT TIME AND MONEY MATTERS

Everything begins and ends with thought—with cognition. We have to think it before we can feel or do anything.
The car pulls up in front of a house owned by my Aunt Frances and her husband Frank in the suburbs of Los Angeles. They share this house with their three children and my grandmother. My sister and I are being deposited there after my parents’ divorce. I am five years old. My paternal grandmother, Isabel, is in charge, with my dad off somewhere in the distance to “live his own life.” I’m shown to a room that I’ll share with my cousin Norma. I’m now an intruder, a charity case, someone displaced in someone else’s home.

This was my cognitive reality. This was how I came to think about who I was in the world. Even at five years old, I knew the stress of isolation and the fear and uncertainty of having parents who didn’t have the time or money to invest in me.

It began that morning when I was dropped off at Aunt Frances’ house—all those early-childhood thoughts and feelings imprinted in my mind a poverty mindset of not being enough. Not belonging. Not having anything of my own. That sense of not belonging and lacking any ownership fractured my identity. What I remember most about that house in La Puente, California, is that it wasn’t my home. It was theirs. I would live in that house until the second grade with a small suitcase secretly packed and hidden at the back of the closet. Waiting. Waiting for someone to rescue and claim me as their own.

Distinguished author and executive coach Marshall Goldsmith speaks to our environment as a nonstop triggering mechanism, a stimulus that has the power to reshape our thoughts and actions.¹ We cannot ignore these triggers. They have the power to change how we think and respond. But, in our awareness of the power of these triggers, we can choose to live them out differently. As a young child, I spiraled into a poverty mindset, believing I was not enough because of my external circumstances. Those external circumstances became triggers that shaped the course of my adult life for a great many years. They changed me.

My experience with time and money became clearly defined. What I learned from the stories around me was that neither my mom nor my dad had the time or inclination to care for me. Additionally, my father was one of nine children—my Grandmother Isabel’s one and only remaining son. My dad was her favorite, my aunts used to snicker. I was one of Anthony’s “brats.”

As to money? There was constant dissension between my grandmother and my aunt about my dad’s failure to honor his financial commitments for the care of his two charity kids. I remember one occasion when my grandmother packed up her own suitcase, took me by the hand, and together we walked for what seemed like days to the nearest bus stop for a trip to God-knows-where. We were running away together. She and I, on the lam, from all the stress and worry about not being enough. We sat by the side of the road for several hours. I wasn’t scared or worried. We were free. I remember the elation in thinking that finally it would be just the two of us. But in the end, my uncle arrived and convinced my grandmother to return to that house of empty promises.

Children need to feel safe, secure, and loved in order to develop self-worth and a sense of abundance. But, remember that our experience of life is dictated by how we make meaning of that experience. People who grow up in homes with loving parents, enough food on the table, and fancy cars can just as easily experience a poverty mindset, albeit for different reasons. Maybe their parents are too busy working to give them full attention. Money may not be the object, but when time is scarce, a child may still experience a deep sense of impoverishment.

Each of us, in our own story, experiences time and money differently. We move in and out of thoughts and behaviors of not being or having enough. Depending on how we’ve made meaning from our early-childhood stories, we may find ourselves conflicted between thoughts and behaviors associated with fear and scarcity and those associated with freedom and abundance. Our environment, our memories, our external circumstances have the power to shape our internal experience of life—to include how we perceive and utilize our most valuable resources of time and money.

The good news is that the reality of our circumstances does not have to dictate our perspective. We can choose to develop awareness of those stories and their impact on our lives. As we mature, we can choose to make meaning of those stories in ways that offer up a different perspective on time and money and a different sense of identity and self-worth.

How Your Story Fits into the Bigger Picture of Your Life Experience

The field of human development teaches us that, just as infants generally crawl before they run, we all grow up into specific stages of development. Additionally, leading theorists in the field agree upon distinctions between states, types, and multiple developmental lines that independently arise within each person.²

By developmental lines, I’m referring to the cognitive, emotional, somatic, interpersonal, moral, and spiritual dimensions of self. To date, we surmise that ea...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction: The Chase
• Part I: The Challenge: Developing Awareness of Your Thoughts and Behaviors
• Part II: The Vision: Letting Go of the Fear
• Part III: The Opportunity: Stepping into Your Biggest Life
• Part IV: The Solution: Shifting to a Paradigm of Radical Abundance
• About the Author
• Appendix A
• Appendix B
• Appendix C
• Appendix D
• Bibliography
• Endnotes