CHAPTER ONE
āNobody finds their soul mate when theyāre ten. I mean, whereās the fun in that, right?ā
āSweet Home Alabama
The day began like any typical day.
Mr. Fitzpervert left a hair ball in my slipper, I burned my earlobe with the straightener, and when I opened the door to leave for school, I caught my next-door nemesis suspiciously sprawled across the hood of my car.
āHey!ā I slid my sunglasses up my nose, pulled the front door shut behind me, and hightailed it in his direction, careful not to scuff my pretty new floral flats as I basically ran at him. āGet off of my car.ā
Wes jumped down and held up his hands in the universal Iām innocent pose, even though his smirk made him look anything but. Besides, Iād known him since kindergarten; the boy had never been innocent a day in his life.
āWhatās in your hand?ā
āNothing.ā He put the hand in question behind his back. Even though heād gotten tall and mannish and a tiny bit hot since grade school, Wes was still the same immature boy whoād āaccidentallyā burned down my momās rosebush with a firecracker.
āYouāre so paranoid,ā he said.
I stopped in front of him and squinted up at his face. Wes had one of those naughty-boy faces, the kind of face where his dark eyesāsurrounded by mile-long thick lashes because life wasnāt fairāspoke volumes, even when his mouth said nothing.
An eyebrow raise told me just how ridiculous he thought I was. From our many less-than-pleasant encounters, I knew the narrowing of his eyes meant he was sizing me up, and that we were about to throw down about the most recent annoyance heād brought upon me. And when he was bright-eyed like he was right now, his brown eyes practically freaking twinkling with mischief, I knew I was screwed. Because mischievous Wes always won.
I poked him in the chest. āWhat did you do to my car?ā
āI didnāt do anything to your car, per se.ā
āPer se?ā
āWhoa. Watch your filthy mouth, Buxbaum.ā
I rolled my eyes, which made his mouth slide into a wicked grin before he said, āThis has been fun, and I love your granny shoes, by the way, but Iāve gotta run.ā
āWesāā
He turned and walked away from me like I hadnāt been speaking. Just⦠walked toward his house in that relaxed, overconfident way of his. When he got to the porch, he opened the screen door and yelled to me over his shoulder, āHave a good day, Liz!ā
Well, that couldnāt be good.
Because there was no way he legitimately wanted me to have a good day. I glanced down at my car, apprehensive about even opening the door.
See, Wes Bennett and I were enemies in a no-holds-barred, full-on war over the one available parking spot on our end of the street. He usually won, but only because he was a dirty cheater. He thought it was funny to reserve the Spot for himself by leaving things in the space that I wasnāt strong enough to move. Iron picnic table, truck motor, monster truck wheels. You get it.
(Even though his antics caught the attention of the neighborhood Facebook pageāmy dad was a group memberāand the old gossips frothed with rage at their keyboards over the blights on the neighborhood landscape, not a single person had ever said anything to him or made him stop. How was that even fair?)
But I was the one riding the victory wave for once, because yesterday Iād had the brilliant idea to call the city after heād decided to leave his car in the Spot for three days in a row. Omaha had a twenty-four-hour ordinance, so good old Wesley had earned himself a nice little parking ticket.
Not going to lie, I did a little happy dance in my kitchen when I saw the deputy slide that ticket underneath Wesās windshield wiper.
I checked all four tires before climbing into my car and buckling my seat belt. I heard Wes laugh, and when I leaned down to glare at him out the passenger window, his front door slammed shut.
Then I saw what heād found so funny.
The parking ticket was now on my car, stuck to the middle of the windshield with clear packing tape that was impossible to see through. Layers and layers of what appeared to be commercialgrade packing tape.
I got out of the car and tried to pry up a corner with my fingernail, but the edges had all been solidly flattened down.
What a tool.
When I finally made it to school after scraping my windshield with a razor blade and doing hard-core deep breathing to reclaim my zen, I entered the building with the Bridget Jonesās Diary soundtrack playing through my headphones. Iād watched the movie the night beforeāfor the thousandth time in my lifeābut this time the soundtrack had just spoken to me. Mark Darcy saying Oh, yes, they fucking do while kissing Bridget was, of course, as swoony as hellfire, but it wouldnāt have been so oh-my-God-worthy if not for Van Morrisonās āSomeone Like Youā playing in the background.
YeahāI have a nerd-level fascination with movie soundtracks.
That song came on as I went past the commons and made my way through the crowds of students clogging up the halls. My favorite thing about musicāwhen you played it loud enough through good headphones (and I had the best)āwas that it softened the edges of the world. Van Morrisonās voice made swimming upstream in the busy hallway seem like it was a scene from a movie, as opposed to the royal pain that it actually was.
I headed toward the second-floor bathroom, where I met Jocelyn every morning. My best friend was a perpetual oversleeper, so there was rarely a day when she wasnāt scrambling to put on her eyeliner before the bell rang.
āLiz, I love that dress.ā Joss threw me a side-glance between cleaning up each eye with a cotton swab as we walked into the bathroom. She pulled out a tube of mascara and began swiping the wand over her lashes. āThe flowers are so you.ā
āThanks!ā I went over to the mirror and did a turn to make sure the vintage A-line dress wasnāt stuck in my underwear or something equally embarrassing. Two cheerleaders surrounded by a puff of white cloud were vaping behind us, and I gave them a closed-mouth smile.
āDo you try to dress like the leads in your movies, or is it a coincidence?ā Joss asked.
āDonāt say āyour moviesā like Iām addicted to porn or something.ā
āYou know what I mean,ā Joss said as she separated her lashes with a safety pin.
I knew exactly what she meant. I watched my momās beloved rom-coms practically every night, using her DVD collection Iād inherited when she died. I felt closer to my mother when I watched them; it felt like a tiny piece of her was there, watching beside me. Probably because weād watched them together So. Many. Times.
But Jocelyn didnāt know any of that. Weād grown up on the same street but hadnāt become actual good friends until sophomore year, so even though she knew my mom had died when I was in fifth grade, weād never really talked about it. Sheād always assumed I was obsessed with love because I was hopelessly romantic. I never corrected her.
āHey, did you ask your dad about the senior picnic?ā Joss looked at me in the mirror, and I knew she was going to be irritated. Honestly, I was surprised that wasnāt the first thing she asked me when I walked in.
āHe wasnāt home last night until after I went to bed.ā It was the truth, but I couldāve asked Helena, if Iād really wanted to discuss it. āIāll talk to him today.ā
āSure you will.ā She twisted the mascara closed and shoved it into her makeup bag.
āI will. I promise.ā
āCome on.ā Jocelyn stuck her makeup bag into her backpack and grabbed her coffee. āI canāt be tardy to Lit again or Iāll get detention, and I told Kate Iād drop gum by her locker on the way.ā
I adjusted the messenger bag on my shoulder and caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror. āWaitāI forgot lipstick.ā
āWe donāt have time for lipstick.ā
āThereās always time for lipstick.ā I unzipped the side pouch and pulled out my new fave, Retrograde Red. On the off chance (so very off chance) my McDreamy was in the building, I wanted good mouth. āYou go ahead.ā
She left and I rubbed the color over my lips. Much better. I tucked the lipstick back into my bag, replaced my headphones, and exited the restroom, hitting play and letting the rest of the Bridget Jones soundtrack wrap itself around my psyche.
When I got to English Lit, I walked to the back of the room and took a seat at the desk between Joss and Laney Morgan, sliding my headphones down to my neck.
āWhat did you put for number eight?ā Jocelyn was writing fast while she talked to me, finishing her homework. āI forgot about the reading, so I have no idea why Gatsbyās shirts made Daisy cry.ā
I pulled out my worksheet and let Joss copy my answer, but my eyes shifted over to Laney. If surveyed, everyone on the planet would unanimously agree that the girl was beautiful; it was an indisputable fact. She had one of those noses that was so adorable, its existence had surely created the need for the word āpert.ā Her eyes were huge like a Disney princessās, and her blond hair was always shiny and soft and looked like it belonged in a shampoo commercial. Too bad her soul was the exact opposite of her physical appearance.
I disliked her so very much.
On the first day of kindergarten, sheād yelled Ewwww when Iād gotten a bloody nose, pointing at my face until the entire class gawked at me in disgust. In third grade, sheād told Dave Addleman that my notebook was full of love notes about him. (Sheād been right, but that wasnāt the point.) Laney had blabbed to him, and instead of being sweet or charming like the movies had led me to believe heād be, David had called me a weirdo. And in fifth grade, not long after my mom had died and Iād been forced to sit by Laney in the lunchroom due to assigned seating, every day as I picked at my barely edible hot lunch, she would unzip her pastel pink lunchbox and wow the entire table with the delights her mother had made just for her.
Sandwiches cut into adorable shapes, homemade cookies, brownies with sprinkles; it had been a treasure trove of kiddie culinary masterpieces, each one more lovingly prepared than the last.
But the notes were what had destroyed me.
There wasnāt a single day that her lunch didnāt include a handwritten note from her mom. They were funny little letters that Laney used to read out loud to her friends, with silly drawings in the margins, and if I allowed my snooping eyes to stray to the bottom, where it said āLove, Momā in curly cursive with doodled hearts around it, I would get so sad that I couldnāt even eat.
To this day, everyone thought Laney was great and pretty and smart, but I knew the truth. She might pretend to be nice, but for as long as I could remember, sheād given me crusty-weird looks. As in every single time the girl looked at me, it was like I had something on my face and she couldnāt decide if she was grossed-out or amused. She was rotting under all that beauty, and someday the rest of the world would see what I saw.
āGum?ā Laney held out a pack of Doublemint with her perfectly arched eyebrows raised.
āNo, thanks,ā I muttered, and turned my attention to the front of the room as Mrs. Adams came in and asked for homework. We passed our papers forward, and she started talking about literary things. Everyone began taking notes on their school-issued laptops, and Colton Sparks gave me a chin nod from his desk in the corner.
I smiled and looked down at my computer. Colton was nice. Iād talked to him for a solid two weeks at the beginning of the year, but that had turned out to be meh. Which kind of summed up the whole of my collective dating history, actually: meh.
Two weeksāthat was the average length of my relationships, if you could even call them that.
Hereās how it usually went: I would see a cute guy, daydream about him for weeks and totally build him up in my mind to be my one-and-only soul mate. The usual high school pre-relationship stuff always began with the greatest of hopes. But by the end of two weeks, before we even got close to official, I almost always got hit with the Ick. The death sentence to all blossoming relationships.
Definition of the Ick: A dating term that refers to a sudden cringe feeling one gets when they have romantic contact with someone and they become almost immediately put off by them.
Joss said I was always browsing but never buying. And she ended up b...