Emotional Intelligence

A Simple and Actionable Guide to Increasing Performance, Engagement and Ownership

Amy Jacobson

• Publisher: Wiley
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9780730391500
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Small Business
• Index: Business

BoostEmotional Intelligence in anysituation to achieveexceptional results for anyorganisation

Asorganisationsaround the world areputting morefocus on the mindset and wellbeing of staff, the need to develop Emotional Intelligence (EI) has never been greater.Emotional Intelligence in the workplace—including the five key concepts of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skillsand motivation—is defined as yourability to identify and manage your personal emotions and the emotions of your colleagues and co-workers.Emotional Intelligenceisin high demandandis expected tobecomeanessentialcomponentof successin the future of work. Emotional Intelligence: A Simple and Actionable Guide to Increasing Performance, Engagement and Ownership is designed tohelp you master EI andempoweryoutoachieve the very best outcome for everyonein yourorganisation.

Cutting through the hype and dispelling the myths about EI, this practical, easy-to-use resource provides clear guidance, powerful tools, and actionablestepsfor developing and implementing EI in the workplacefor immediate results. Amy Jacobson, an experienced EI specialist, leadership trainer and coach, sharesthe tools, methodologies, concepts and actions that increase EI in any situation.Packed with real-life examples and case studies, insightfulquestions, and usefuldiagrams to create action, this must-have guide:

• Offersa powerful 5-part methodology—Own It, Face It, Feel It, Ask It, and Drive It—tohelp youunderstand and immediately implement Emotional Intelligence principles inbothyour personal and professional life
• IncreasesyourEmotional Intelligence intheworkplace toenable you to inspireandenergisestaff, support empathy and self-awareness, and drive high levels of performance
• Improvesthe way you handle high pressure environments, manage challenging situations, andinteractwithpeoplewithdifferent communication styles
• Helps you solve difficult problems in the workplace such as loss of purpose and engagement, cultural issues, poor communication, and lowproductivity
• Provides concrete steps for eliminatingnegative behaviors andforowningthe role you play, yourimpact on others, andthe decisions and choices youmake

Emotional Intelligence: A Simple and Actionable Guide to Increasing Performance, Engagement and Ownership is an indispensable book for anyoneinteracting with others in the workplace, especially those withleadership rolessuch assenior executives, board members, department heads, managers and supervisors.

Part I
What is emotional intelligence?

While the popularity of the concept of emotional intelligence continues to increase, it is certainly not a new concept. It still has many questioning whether it really can be taught or whether we are born with it.

How do we measure how emotionally intelligent we are?

Chapter 1
The history of emotional intelligence

The term ‘emotional intelligence’ was coined by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in their 1990 article published in the journal Imagination, Cognition and Personality titled ‘Emotional intelligence’.

Their definition reads:

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.

This was the first time the words ‘emotional intelligence’ appeared in a publication. However, references to how we get along with the people around us existed as concepts as early as 1920 through the work of Edward Thorndike, although at that time they were labelled ‘social intelligence’. Emotional intelligence was yet to be referenced.

It wasn't until 1995, when Daniel Goleman published his book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, that the concept of EI really became a popular and more well‐known term.

In his book, Goleman talks about the five components of EI as:

1. self‐awareness
2. self‐regulation
3. internal motivation
4. empathy
5. social skills.

Today, this remains one of the most common explanations of EI, but for many people, it can be confusing.

For example, what do self‐awareness and self‐regulation consist of? What's the difference between empathy and sympathy? We require a certain level of emotional intelligence to understand what these components actually mean!

Before we analyse EI in depth in part II using my five‐step, action‐based mindset disruption process, let's answer a couple of the most frequently asked questions.

Chapter 2
Can EI be taught or are we born with it?

Some people are definitely born with EI. This kind of research is extremely hard to prove, but we see some children naturally display levels of EI at a very young age — whether it is empathising with other children and adults, knowing what they like and dislike without overthinking and fear of judgement, or asking ‘why’ to understand the purpose.

I remember the first time my daughter Amelia really cried during a movie. She was four years old and we were watching the movie Red Dog. There is quite an emotional scene towards the end of the movie. (I won't describe it in case you haven't seen it.) She had tears running down her face and was so confused. The emotional response wasn't spelled out to her like children's movies tend to do — this was a family movie telling a story and leaving the emotional reaction completely up to the viewer. Amelia's emotions latched on and the tears were heartfelt, triggering her EI to feel what others were feeling.

We see children comforting other children or adults and knowing exactly what to say in the moment to help them feel better — a great display of empathy. They know what they like, they know what makes them happy and they are motivated to make it happen.

There are many adults who have a high level of EI yet may not recognise it as EI. To them, it's just who they are and have always been. Since they don't recognise this as their EI, they may struggle to help others develop skills and behaviours like their own. Again, it's like it's in their DNA — a no‐brainer, they might say — it just happens naturally.

Then there are others who lack EI in certain areas and are very aware of this. They are proactively looking for ways to learn and further develop their EI knowing that they can be better in themselves and that the impact they have on those around them can also improve.

EI can be taught. I've taught many people in this field. The key is, you must want to learn it.

We must commit to continually recognising the need, reframing and reviewing. Reading a book on EI, or attending a seminar, won't make us emotionally intelligent. It's an ongoing process and something that we have to work at daily. We learn the concepts and tools in order to consistently implement them.

One of my best friends once said: ‘A marriage is something you work on every day to help it grow and be great.’ EI is very much the same: it takes awareness, work and ongoing development because every situation and person is different.

Lastly, there are people who are in desperate need of developing their EI but are simply not aware of this — nor do they have an interest in doing so. Unless we can reach the first stage of self‐awareness and own the need to improve, unfortunately our growth will be limited. We must want to grow and develop our EI in order to truly learn it.

I often wonder whether we were all born with high levels of EI and as we age and experience life and with it many defining moments, whether our level of EI decreases or stays the same. We know that defining moments throughout our lives directly impact our beliefs and values, controlling our mindset, self‐worth and confidence levels.

They also determine what makes us tick: our emotional response, the way we treat others, how we communicate and our levels of motivation. It only takes one unexpected situation or defining moment to have us questioning how we will approach a situation should it arise again. So maybe our EI levels are high when we are born and some people are able to maintain those high levels, while those of others decrease or get pushed further into their subconscious mind as those defining moments — and ‘life’ — happen.

Extensive research has been done for the Association for Psychological Science at a deeper level asking whether we are born with our purp...