Mission Rift

Leading through Church Conflict

David E. Woolverton, David E. Woolverton

• Publisher: Fortress Press
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9781506464770
• eBook ISBN: 9781506464787
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Church

There are two types of conflict in congregations: conflict that kills and conflict that cultivates growth. So argues David E. Woolverton in Mission Rift: Leading through Church Conflict.

Conflict that kills--that damages or destroys teams, ministries, missions, vibrancy--occurs when we as the people of God forget who we are, why we're here, and where we're going in carrying out the divine mission. Conflict that cultivates growth often begins with the same scenarios, but leaders see conflict as a context for learning how to live together as a people called to transform their neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces.

In Mission Rift, Woolverton reorients our view of congregational conflict. In part 1, he examines conflict from a theological and ecclesiological framework, exploring why it is essential to discipleship and mission. In part 2, he presents six principles of missional leadership, challenging pastors and other leaders to define themselves within the frameworks of spiritual formation and family systems, and then to create environments that facilitate growth in faith communities.

Rather than resolve conflict too quickly, Woolverton explains, lest we inadvertently sabotage the potential it has to draw a congregation toward spiritual growth, wise leaders recognize that a lack of conflict may be a symptom of missional decline, rather than congregational unity.

When the church pursuesits divine mission first, conflict may become essential for defining its mission priorities. Successfully leading through conflict toward a transformative end will empower a congregation's witness within its community and beyond.

Part I

Who We Are, Why We’re Here, Where We’re Going

Chapter One

Who We Are

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.

—Mark 8:34–35

In the congregational setting where you serve, no matter what else God is up to, God is doing two overarching works: First, God is using your unique gifts, skills, personality, character, and attitude to work with the congregation to carry out God’s mission in the community. Second, God is using this particular local church and all its issues—the good, the bad, and the ugly—to equip you and the congregation for even greater mission and ministry opportunities.

Let’s face it: church conflicts can be scary. They can strain your marriage and family, disrupt your ministry agenda, challenge your personal sense of call, forever alter your perspective on church and pastoring, and quite honestly, make you hate being around people . . . especially Christians. Everything that originally birthed God’s call to ministry in your life may be called into question. Conflicts in the church can make you so disillusioned that you want to quit—quit the particular congregation and quit ministry itself. The stress related to navigating church conflicts can cause you to understand deeply the full spectrum of your body’s “fight-flight-or-freeze” adrenal reactions.

You may have seasons of depression and times when you feel painfully alone. You might self-medicate with your drug of choice—whether alcohol, nicotine, pornography, or pain medications—or you may find yourself binge-watching late-night episodes of Family Feud. There may be times you work harder and longer, believing that doing so will somehow change your circumstances. You might have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep or getting up to start your day.

You may become more easily angered and reactive, at times making (or at least thinking) inappropriate comments. You might have imaginary battles in your mind in which you “call down fire” on those who are making your life miserable. And then, because you’re a follower of Jesus, you may live with the cognitive dissonance between your self-justification and guilt about what you’re going through and doing.

And you will be in good company.

A Voice Calling in the Wilderness

For many, conflict can be scary. It’s so easy to assume that each and every conflict is a cosmic battle between good and evil—especially when we position those who disagree with us as “villains.” Such clashes, in fact, are the foundation upon which many a best-selling book, television show, or blockbuster movie is built. Star Wars, the Harry Potter series, Mission Impossible, The Jerry Springer Show, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and programs on the Hallmark Channel demonstrate how society even views some conflicts as entertainment—at least when they don’t involve us personally and when they are resolved by the end of the show. But conflicts can reveal so much more if we dare to look beneath their stormy surges.

I must admit, that’s one of the reasons I like the Old Testament prophet Elijah. If you look at his life journey through our twenty-first-century “church” perspective, Elijah is much like a local church pastor. People come to him for advice and expect wisdom. People come to him with their ailments and expect him to heal them. People come to him with their poverty and expect him to provide. People come to him with complaints about his ministry, and he must somehow not take them personally.

Elijah is just like you and me. In spite of the miracles God performs through him, he is fully human—having the full range of normal human reactions to the confrontations and threats that come his way. Take the aftermath of Elijah’s battle with the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel. You know the story. Elijah has just seen and led one of the most amazing battles of faith in the Bible. He has watched God’s powerful hand of judgment wipe out hundreds of false prophets to prove to King Ahab and Queen Jezebel that nothing will impinge on God’s mission. Now Elijah faces Jezebel, who is the prototype of people we know in our very churches, and must battle his own emotions in order to continue leading. In response to Jezebel’s threats, Elijah runs. He flees in fear—in spite of the God who will not be intimidated. He gets severely depressed and wants to die.

Have you ever felt that way? I have. If you’re like me, when you feel that kind of anxiety, you will do almost anything to regain a sense of peace. Elijah tries too.

Exhausted, Elijah runs “a day’s journey into the wilderness” (1 Kgs 19:4) and finds refuge under a broom tree, where he collapses in self-pity.

Notice that Elijah’s encounter with God begins in the wilderness. Often, it is there, in the wilderness, that God sharpens the character of those whom God calls to service. Elijah, Abraham (Gen 22:9–12), Jacob (Gen 32:22–31), Moses (Exod 2:11–25), Paul (Acts 9:1–9; Gal 1:11–24)—even Jesus (Matt 4:1–11); it’s one of the things they all have in common. For each, the wilderness is an experience of facing and shattering their idols and misconceptions about leadership and God’s call to ministry.

In the wilderness, our pride is exposed, and we are found wanting. Our definitions of strong leadership are confronted, and we emerge limping and are given but a staff and a Word to compel us. In the wilderness, we are stripped bare, tested, sharpened, reoriented, and then sent back out into the world of brokenness to be a vessel through whom God redeems the world. In the wilderness, God equips us—you—to prepare God’s people for divine transformative work.

Why is that important? Sometimes we forget who we are, why we’re here, and where we’re going.

Conflicts in communities of faith are not new—even when they are new to us. The fact that people in your congregation may be fighting is not a surprise to God. Perhaps that’s why God sent you there! While God recognizes the exhausting nature of leading in conflict situations, the Lord of Life challenges us to remember the call on our lives, to find strength in that call, and most specifically, to keep moving forward in the faith that the One who called us will lead through us.

We Are Not Meant to Go It Alone

To remind Elijah of his call, God shows up in a penetrating “sound of sheer silence” (1 Kgs 19:12).

In the summer of 2018, my wife, Kristine, and I traveled to Olympic National Park in Washington for ten days of vacation. I had just spent the better part of two years serving a new church appointment, navigating through repeated conflicts dealing with everything from personality clashes among congregation members to “worship wars” to the aftermath of my colleague’s extramarital affair with a church member, along with the normal stressors of leading a large congregation. I was exhausted. Four days into our vacation, I was still tense, reactive, and sarcastic—and feeling overwhelmed by the death of our beloved dog just a few weeks prior. I was not very fun to be around.

Then came the Shi Shi Beach hiking trail in the park’s Makah wilderness. Within moments after beginning the hike, I was overcome by the “sound of sheer silence.” Surrounded by a cathedral of tall trees, this segment of creation was devoid of all sound, including anything natural. No birds chirping, no crickets calling mates, no squirrels rustling in the underbrush. I was overcome by the presence of the Almighty. I remember stopping a quarter of a mile in and feeling the physical release of the weight I had been carrying in my soul. Inside I wept with a sense of freedom as that divine silence reminded me both of how small I really am and that God is totally and immeasurably in control. I felt naked, exposed, and vulnerable . . . yet very free.

This sound of sheer silence is important for us in ministry. We must put ourselves in positions where we can hear it, repeatedly, especially in seasons of conflict. Ironically, it is in such moments of God’s self-revelation, in the sheer silence of God’s presence, that we are reminded that we are not, nor were we ever meant to be, alone.

Following this encounter, Elijah receives instructions from God: “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king over Aram. Also you shall anoint Jehu son of Nimshi as king over Israel; and you shall anoint Elisha son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah as prophet in your place. Whoever escapes from the sword of Hazael, Jehu shall kill; and whoever escapes from the sword of Jehu, Elisha shall kill. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him” (1 Kgs 19:15–18).

What God says to Elijah, in effect, is “Go, surround yourself with a team.” It’s the power of anointing that equips Elijah to now multiply the impact of what God can do through him, especially as he begins the final chapters of his own ministry. Alone, he remains exhausted; with a team, he finds strength, fortitude, and endurance.

Hazael and Jehu become significant partners with Elijah in carrying out God’s mission. Elisha becomes a protégé of Elijah, preparing for the next wave of that mission. The mission of God is central to the entire metanarrative of Scripture. Therefore, it must also be the central heartbeat of every local church.

If you are the pastor of a church, one of your primary jobs is to build a team of leaders who will help carry out God’s mission. Additionally, from the get-go, your job is to start multiplying yourself, mentoring others in leadership who will succeed you. No matter how conflicted your congregation may be, God is raising up a group—however small or large—of those who are faithful to the call of Christ. God’s words to Elijah speak to God’s ongoing mission through the church to the world: “Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him” (1 Kgs 19:18). There are people in your congregation whom God has been preparing for this chapter in the church’s history—faithful people who have hearts for God’s mission and for God’s Son. God has been raising them up “for just such a time as this” (Esth 4:14). You are not meant to lead alone. You need to build your team.

Goal Shift: Not to Fix Conflict but to Lead through It

Our goal, first and foremost, is to equip disciples for mission-focused ministry. When conflict arises, it’s not our job as pastors and leaders to fix conflict. The notion of fixing conflict implies that first, a specific conflict can be fixed; second, the people involved in the conflict want to be fixed; and third, it’s important to resolve the conflict in order to carry out our mission. In reality, we try to fix the things that cause us anxiety, and conflict raises our anxiety. We are afraid that we will lose relationships, status, respect, power, rights, privileges . . . and control. Conflict and its ramifications can make us anxious, and when our anxiety goes up, we will do whatever it takes to reduce it.

Our job is not to resolve conflict. Our job is to develop healthier ways for our congregations to carry out our divine mission of making disciples of Jesus Christ and showing our neighbors that love can, in fact, transform the world (John 13:35; 17:25–26). Conflicts actually are contexts within which that equipping and discipling can take place. We need to change the way we view conflict in the church. Instead of looking at the conflict’s content, we must turn our eyes to the conflict’s context. What are the unhealthy relational systems that are breeding grounds for dysfunction (e.g., closed power groups or bullies)? In what ways has this congregation been neglecting its mission mandate and consuming itself (Gal 5:15)? What is this conflict revealing about the congregation’s lack of discipled leaders? What are the patterns of repeated conflicts telling you about unresolved grief or unrepented sin?

If we resolve conflict too quickly, we may sabotage the very opportunity it presents to realign the congregation to the mission God has intended for it within its community. Our task is not to fix conflict; our task is to lead through it. Instead of allowing our own or the congregation’s anxiety to determine how we react to conflict in the church, we can have the courage to face and lead through the conflict.

But where can we get that kind of courage?

Amid Any Church Conflict, God Starts with the Leader

One of my favorite verses of Scripture is 1 Samuel 17:48: “As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him” (NIV). The context is the well-known story of David and Goliath. Ever since I was a child, I have loved this Bible story—certainly because my name is David but also because I am vertically challenged (I’m 5′5″). These wonderful words have helped me face quite a few Goliaths over the years.

But I don’t think this iconic story is primarily about David facing Goliath. I think it’s about something much more enticing. I think it’s about David remembering who he is, why he’s there, and what God’s mission for Israel has been all along—and then asking the Israelite army to do the same thing.

In response to Saul’s palpable concern about David’s youth and inexperience in facing the much more experienced warrior, Goliath, David recounts with pride stories of how God has helped him defeat a lion and a bear and then asserts his confidence that “the Lord, who saved me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, will save me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Sam 17:37). He’s not really focusing on Goliath at all.

By doing so, David illustrates an all-important axiom for those who lead in the midst of conflict: a leader’s greatest asset within any conflict situation is their capacity to self-define apart from the emotional tensions of the conflict. In his posthumously published book A Failure of Nerve, rabbi-psychiatrist Edwin Friedman portrays what he identifies as the “well-differentiated leader”: “A well-differentiated leader is someone who has clarity about his or h...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Preface: Conflict That Kills, Conflict That Cultivates Growth
• Part I. Who We Are, Why We’re Here, Where We’re Going
• Part II. Leading through Conflict: Principles of Missional Leadership
• Acknowledgments
• Appendix A: Sample Membership Covenant
• Appendix B: Leadership Development Resources for Huddles and Teams
• Notes
• Works Consulted