The Confidential Clerk

T. S. Eliot

• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9780156220156
• eBook ISBN: 9780544358492
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: American Drama
• Index: Literature

A comedy of mistaken identities erupts in the household of a wealthy London entrepreneur in this play by the Nobel Prize–winning author.
A motley play of family mysteries, The Confidential Clerk follows Sir Claude and Lady Elizabeth as they reconnect with their long-lost illegitimate children—even though they aren't quite certain whose child is whose. "Extraordinarily good fun," this is one of Eliot's greatest comedies, full of wit, crisp dialogue, and parental hijinks laced with some of Eliot's finest poetry and existential reveries ( The Atlantic).
Praise for The Confidential Clerk
"The dialogue . . . has a precision and a lightly felt rhythm unmatched in the writing of any contemporary dramatist." — Times Literary Supplement (UK)
"A triumph of dramatic skill: the handling of the two levels of the play is masterly and Eliot's verse registers its greatest achievement on the stage—passages of great lyrical beauty are incorporated into the dialogue." — Spectator (UK)

Act Three

The Business Room, as in Act One. Several mornings later. SIR CLAUDE is moving chairs about. Enter LADY ELIZABETH.

LADY ELIZABETH

Claude, what are you doing?

SIR CLAUDE

Settling the places.

It’s important, when you have a difficult meeting,

To decide on the seating arrangements beforehand.

I don’t think you and I should be near together.

Will you sit there, beside the desk?

LADY ELIZABETH

On the other side, with the light behind me:

But won’t you be sitting at the desk yourself?

SIR CLAUDE

No, that would look too formal. I thought it would be better

To put Eggerson there, behind the desk.

You see, I want him to be a sort of chairman.

LADY ELIZABETH

That’s a good idea.

SIR CLAUDE

On the other hand,

We mustn’t look like a couple of barristers

Ready to cross-examine a witness.

It’s very awkward. We don’t want to start

By offending Mrs. Guzzard. That’s why I thought

That Eggerson should put the first questions.

He’s very good at approaching a subject

In a roundabout way. But where shall we place her?

LADY ELIZABETH

Over there, with the light full on her:

I want to be able to watch her expression.

SIR CLAUDE

But not in this chair! She must have an armchair . . .

LADY ELIZABETH

Not such a low one. Leave that in the corner

For Colby. He won’t want to be conspicuous,

Poor boy!

SIR CLAUDE

After all, it was he who insisted

On this . . . investigation. But perhaps you’re right.

LADY ELIZABETH

Claude, I’ve been thinking things over and over—

All through the night. I hardly slept at all.

I wish that Colby, somehow, might prove to be your son

Instead of mine. Really, I do!

It would be so much fairer. If he is mine—

As I’m sure he is—then you never had a son;

While, if he were yours . . . he could still take the place

Of my son: and so he could be our son.

Oh dear, what do I want? I should like him to be mine,

But for you to believe that he is yours!

So I hope Mrs. Guzzard will say he is your son

And I needn’t believe her. I don’t believe in facts.

You do. That is the difference between us.

SIR CLAUDE

I’m not so sure of that. I’ve tried to believe in facts;

And I’ve always acted as if I believed in them.

I thought it was facts that my father believed in;

I thought that what he cared for was power and wealth;

And I came to see that what I had interpreted

In this way, was something else to him—

An idea, an inspiration. What he wanted to transmit to me

Was that idea, that inspiration

Which to him was life. To me, it was a burden.

You can’t communicate an inspiration,

Like that, by force of will. He was a great financier—

And I am merely a successful one.

I might have been truer to my father’s inspiration

If I had done what I wanted to do.

LADY ELIZABETH

You’ve never talked like this to me before!

Why haven’t you? I don’t suppose I understand;

And I know you don’t think I understand anything,

And perhaps I don’t. But I wish you would talk

Sometimes to me as if I did understand,

And perhaps I might come to understand better.

What did you want to do?

SIR CLAUDE

To be a potter.

Don’t laugh.

LADY ELIZABETH

I’m not laughing. I was only thinking

How strange to have lived with you, all these years,

And now you tell me, you’d have liked to be a potter!

You really mean, to mak...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Contents
• Copyright
• Author’s Note
• Characters
• Act One
• Act Two
• Act Three
• The Cast of the First Production
• About the Author
• Footnotes