I Don't Care How You Feel! I Care How You Think

Cognitive Therapy 2.0

John E. Christie MA LPC

• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN:
  9781098047962
• eBook ISBN:
  9781098047979
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Author John Christie offers a Comprehensive Guide to How Your Brain Works and How You Can Control It to Better Your Life.In this fast-paced world, we expect immediate gratification. We inadvertently focus on our feelings and having our needs and wants met. There is more to life than what we currently experience and possess. Thinking is key! John takes us deeper into how and why the brain processes information.We're not taught to look at how we think about everything around us, including ourselves. We often act on impulse, telling ourselves we will deal with consequences of our actions some other time. This behavior can negatively impact our feelings about ourselves and others.Learn to improve the relationship you have with yourself as well as with those around you by incorporating the techniques introduced in this book.Learn to be a more balanced and effective thinker.Have the ability to control your emotions and behavior.Be a more effective communicator and listener.Increase your confidence.Gain the ability to be more adaptable.Keep yourself in Growth Mode versus Fear Mode.Master the ability to be proactive instead of reactive.The book provides actual techniques, not just coping skills that you can implement. John's approach and the ease with which it can be implemented will astound you.

2

Think! How the Brain Processes Information

TEA (Thoughts, Emotions, Actions) is the first major concept that we must understand. The brain takes in information and processes it; it does this so fast that we hardly notice. However, it is the first internal action. The information doesn’t go to your big toe or your liver; the information goes to your brain, and your brain thinks.

Information processing in the brain starts with input from various sensory organs, which help transform different physical stimuli, like touch, sound waves, heat, or photons of light into electrochemical signals.

Then feelings and chemicals are produced in the body to match the thoughts, which then lead to actions to further back up the thoughts. But thinking starts it all! So we must be more mindful and take a more active role in the process.

One of the reasons we must do this is that the brain is wired to protect, so it’s kind of preprogrammed to think negatively. Negative thoughts do serve an important function! Negative thoughts keep us safe. Also, most of us have had experiences that have shaped how we think, some very traumatic. This trauma can add to negative thinking. Then add the messages we get from society of how the world is so dangerous, and one can see how we live in a more fear-based world.

We see the negative in any situation due to our mental filters. We can dwell on it and perceive the whole situation as negative. Mental filters happen, for example, when you call your friend or husband insensitive and rude for not listening to you during dinner time while disregarding all other good things they did that day. It also happens when you are delivering an oral presentation and happen to see someone yawning. You instantly interpret it as a bad performance, completely disregarding the positive feedback you received.

All these make the brain think in a more negative perspective to protect itself and you. We have an additional hurdle, and the brain doesn’t really want you messing around with it. Much like the electrical room in any major building that says “Do not enter! High voltage!” The brain is wired to work without conscious thought interfering with subconscious thought. However, left unchecked, the brain can get overwhelmingly negative. But as active, intelligent, and mindful people, we must break in and rewire what has shorted out.

Now, before the internal happenings of the mind, the person needs something to “react” to, and we will call these events. Anything can be an event for the brain. The drive to your office was an “event” in your life, so is going on a roller-coaster ride or having a child.

Some “events” are more important to the brain, but ultimately, they are all neutral and external until we think about them, until we assign value or an association to them. The brain assigns value and meaning to an object through thoughts; that is the first internal event.

Researchers have found that the brain can start to process value only eighty milliseconds after seeing an object. That is less than one-tenth of a second. It means that the brain is essentially figuring out if something is important to pay attention to or just junk while recognizing what it is based on history.

A pen might not elicit a lot of thoughts sitting on a table, because it doesn’t mean a lot to you unless you need to write something. But if someone picked up that pen and held it so it was pointing out of their fist and started to run toward you, your brain wouldn’t care that it’s a pen any longer and would think of it as a weapon, and therefore, you have a completely different set of thoughts about it. In turn, your emotions and action would change, even though the pen didn’t change its practical properties.

Our thoughts will determine whether we “like” (emotion) an event or not, and those feelings will determine whether or not we interact (action) with that event or not. If you have positive thoughts about a roller coaster (roller coasters are fun!), you will like them and, in turn, ride them. Indeed, once the system is active, then emotions and behavior have an impact on thoughts, but only after the initial thoughts have taken place.

TEA:

• Thoughts
• Emotions
• Actions

This is the true order of things. Thoughts control emotions, emotions control actions. Again, once the system is activated, then your emotions and actions influence future thinking, but not control; that’s the crucial difference.

Your thoughts influence how you perceive events. If you receive an e-mail from your boss that says he or she would like to see you immediately, you may assume you will get fired. This is your brain attempting to protect you. Being fired might be the worst possible thing, so the brain prepares you. The subconscious mind thinks if it’s something positive, then it doesn’t have to prepare you for that.

If on the other hand you receive that same e-mail from your boss, one of your thoughts could be that you will be promoted or congratulated on a task or job well done. It is important to consider and reflect on the emotional thought filter you are looking at the world through. After that, you should reframe your thoughts and develop a more pragmatic and balanced view. Review both the positive and negative reasons an event could be happening. This will keep one emotion, such as anxiety, from dominating your perception.

And let’s not get caught in the trap that events “cause.” Events do not control thinking, except in rare, usually life-threatening situations. Obviously, no one should be making the case for positive life effects of heroine! However, think of everyday things such as roller coasters. They do not elicit the same response in everyone. Some people think positively about them, and some people think negatively of them. Just as not all people like chocolate ice-cream.

The following is a worksheet for your homework. Start to identify the four major themes. Do not feel you have to fill them out in order; often, we recognize feelings or behaviors before we understand the thoughts behind them.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

—Colossians 3:2 (NIV)

Worksheet 1

Identifying the four major themes

Event:

Thoughts:

Emotion:

Actions:

3

Digging Deeper—Specific Categories of Thought

Thoughts are the cause of emotions and ultimately actions or behavior and understanding how we think will better help you control your brain.

Thoughts—In order for us to control our mental health, we must understand the types of thoughts we can have.

There are three dichotomies:

Negative vs. Positive

This is the classic pro/con list we have all done a thousand times.

For part of your brain, there’s always something to protect against, and nothing is really quite right. In order to prepare you and keep you safe, it needs to know all the possible ways in which something can go wrong.

In contrast, part of your brain looks for the silver lining in apparent difficulties, hardships, and negative circumstances. This helps keep a positive and upbeat attitude and a good mood.

Keep in mind, the brain does both whether you like it or not. So let’s not get caught in the argument of which is right but learn to entertain both possibilities.

Internal vs. External

The brain also...

Table of contents

• Why Thoughts Matter
• Think! How the Brain Processes Information
• Digging Deeper—Specific Categories of Thought
• The Hierarchy of Thought
• The Problem of Avoidance (Fear Vs. Growth Mode)
• The Biological Process
• The Real Work Begins
• Your Emotional Toolbox
• The Hardest Part
• The Work and More Concepts
• Benefits of Thinking
• Helpful Lists