Letters to ONE

Gay and Lesbian Voices from the 1950s and 1960s

Craig M. Loftin

• Publisher: SUNY Press
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781438442983, 9781438442976
• eBook ISBN: 9781438442990
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: North American History
• Index: Social Sciences

Long before the Stonewall riots, ONE magazine—the first openly gay magazine in the United States—offered a positive viewpoint of homosexuality and encouraged gay people to resist discrimination and persecution. Despite a limited monthly circulation of only a few thousand, the magazine influenced the substance, character, and tone of the early American gay rights movement. This book is a collection of letters written to the magazine, a small number of which were published in ONE, but most of them were not. The letters candidly explore issues such as police harassment of gay and lesbian communities, antigay job purges, and the philosophical, scientific, and religious meanings of homosexuality.

1

Biography and Self-Analysis

The ONE correspondents whose letters are featured in this chapter used their own life histories to explore broader questions about the nature of homosexuality. One hotly debated question among ONE magazine readers was whether or not homosexuality should be considered “normal.” Are gay people just like anyone else except for their sexuality? Or are gay men and lesbians a distinct group of people with a distinct way of seeing the world? Does labeling gay people “normal” reduce social prejudices against them? Or does striving for normalcy merely reinforce an oppressively conformist status quo in terms of gender, sexuality, and personal freedom? Is normalcy desirable in the first place, or should gay people celebrate the fact that they are not normal? Gay activists and academics continue to debate these questions today.

In the 1950s, such questions about normalcy were sparked largely by the Kinsey Reports. Most ONE correspondents embraced Alfred Kinsey's controversial view that homosexuality was a normal variation of human sexual behavior. They believed his perspective was an important step in gaining social acceptance. Some correspondents disagreed with Kinsey, however, on two grounds. A minority of correspondents still considered themselves defective as human beings because they felt ashamed about their unwanted homosexual desires. Other correspondents, however, rejected the normalcy premise because they preferred to think of themselves as “abnormal” in a positive, individualistic sense, rather than in a self-loathing or clinical sense. Some of these correspondents were proud to stand out as individuals among the lonely crowd.

Coming Out

The first several letters in this chapter describe coming out experiences. Some correspondents reminisced about coming out experiences years in the past, while others wrote their letters as they were going through the process. Coming out was a major event in the lives of gay men and lesbians in the 1950s and 1960s, just as it is today. These letters describe individuals meeting other gay people for the first time as well as accepting their own homosexuality. Such acceptance might have followed years of internal conflict and loneliness, as seen in the first letter written by a 19-year-old man who admitted having suicidal feelings because of his homosexuality. In contrast, other correspondents accepted their homosexuality without internal conflict—and at young ages.

18 March 1958

Los Angeles, California

Dear Sirs,

I came out in homosexual life at the age of eighteen. Now I'm nineteen and think that it's a very happy but lonely life. A lot of times I feel like committing suicide, but I shouldn't be so cowardly as to do anything like that.

I guess the best thing for people like us is to keep busy going to college or studying. I do hope someday that I won't be lonely anymore. Your magazine is terrific and I pick up a copy each time it comes out.

Sincerely,

Richard

27 November 1958

Los Angeles, California

Sir:

Not too long ago, three years ago to be exact, I saw a copy of your magazine on a newsstand in Times Square, N.Y. and scornfully laughed saying, “Now they've got a paper for Homos too,” with another friend. Little did I realize at that moment that I'd become a “One” myself. I'm writing this letter, to explain what I think is one of the strangest situations. You may publish this if you so desire, without giving my address in the “One.”

I'm 24 years now, and a blond, well-built, crew cut, who's usually described as the All American boy. I graduated from a College, in Massachussetts, played on the basket-ball team, belonged to the College Swimming group, took girls out, and indulged in all the usual so called normal activities of necking, petting, etc. I had no “desire” for boys, although I was with handsome young men, and saw them in the nude.

After graduation, I came out to L.A.—two years ago, and something happened. I can't put my hands on it. Always being interested in athletics, and physical culture, I joined a leading Gym, did work outs, and really built up a physique. (I've even appeared as a model in a couple of the magazines of the male form)—under a different name. My attentions came to focus more not only on my body but on other males as well. I fought the desire, but was not able to over come it. I had an affair with another male model, an accepted Gay boy. Later I dated a girl, and to find out had an affair with her. It was a shock to realize that I craved for the male model and repulsed at the girl. I passed through many weeks of despair.

I've now accepted the situation.

How foolish we are to say that we're normal, when normality and abnormality are so close to each other?

Wish your magazine success.

Cordially,

John

If you do publish this letter, please leave both my name and address out. Send me no correspondence also. Thank you.

5 July 1959

Small town in eastern Kansas

Dear Sir,

Enclosed is $3.50 for a subscription to One Institute Quarterly: Homophile Studies. I am very pleased with One Magazine and devour every word therein.

Also enclosed here in is a request for some bit of information. Now, I am 25 years old—I've been out of high school since way back in ’51—(seems so long) and I have known about myself since the 7th grade. I read (quite by accident) the definition of the word, homosexual, in a book on sex for young people. Since that time, I've read all I could get my hands on about the subject. Of course, here in this bleak desert [Kansas], there is not much to be found.

And what there is, is not too reliable, but some how, by the time I finished high school I had a pretty fair picture of the situation—but—it was not for about two or three years after high school that I ever met another gay person—at least, one who knew the score. It was a butch lesbian who introduced me to her brother who was also gay. Here my real education started. And life itself is much more real than you can find in books. Anyway by now I have been around quite a bit. To illustrate my point: I worked at the notorious Barker Hotel at 2000 Miramar in L.A. for over a year. I'm sure you've heard of the place—it's “too much”—and very educational.

But I'm wandering away from my point. I'll try to get back.

I have a cousin here, male, and will be a senior in high school next year. I also have a female cousin in Wichita, KS, who is two or three years younger then he. I am also acquainted with other high school students here and there and they all agree, and are nearly obsessed with the notion that Thursday is—All-Queens-Day—Neither will anyone who is “hep” wear green on this day as it is a sure sign that you're queer.

No one I know seems to have any idea as to what started this notion and I've been unable to find anything that might shed a bit of light on the subject. I wonder if any of you might know anything about it. It really “bugs” me that the notion seems to be so universal and so strong. There must be a basis for it somewhere—I'd like to know.

I'd better quit now. It'll probably take a 10 man crew at least a week to decipher these hen scratchin's.

Thank you kindly.

Yours truly,

Gregory

22 April 1962

Midsize town in central New York

Dear Sirs,

This letter is addressed to all the editors, but I hope for an answer from whomever might take the trouble to answer some of the questions I have. If the style of my letter seems stilted and the prose incoherent, please blame it on my having stayed up all night writing a college paper, and it is now early morning and I am purposely writing now, as I might not have the nerve to write under saner conditions.

Perhaps I should start by identifying myself. I am a young man, 24 to be exact, now finishing my last year at college. I would have finished earlier but I left college for four years during which time I stayed three years in a religious community from which I had to eventually depart, partially because of the homosexual problem. The truth is that I have been longing for homosexual contacts since I was 11 or 12, but up until a few weeks ago never had such contact with an admitted homosexual, barring a few early adolescent experiences. This was with a young semi-prostitute in New York. I later got to know one other homosexual in New York who is a mixed up, messed up, out-of-work bum, although a very nice guy notwithstanding. Why do I go into these details which could have no interest for you? Purely because of the recency of all this for me (recent in the sense of overt experience, not desires) I am still very unsure and know little more than I did except that I want no longer to be ashamed of what I am, and feel I have the right to get together with other folks, male or female, who want to get together with me.

But there are many problems. First of all the strata of homosexual life that I have touched upon in New York seems definitely connected with criminality, prostitution, fear, extortion, etc. I have the feeling that this must be the […]¹ of gay life that corresponds to a similar side of heterosexual life, that is by no means representative or necessary. Please don't think I am saying this from snobbishness. Unfortunately I am personally all too much attracted by this drifting life, but I am afraid of it too. As one friend of mine put it, “These guys seem like losers all around.” Perhaps my question should be phrased: must one be an all-around social loser if one wishes to live a homosexual life in our society? I would appreciate your personal opinion on this as well as any references to books on the subject.

But perhaps I have not made the problem clear. What I really want to know is whether there is no other way to meet people whom one might like to really get to know than in 8th-avenue bars and hanging around Times Square? Incidentally, if you could recommend any person in or around N.Y. city with whom I could speak to about this with on a mature level I would be very grateful. I realize that as a magazine you can't act as a lonely hearts club, and if it is against your policy to suggest a person I might contact just ignore this last point. (Please don't misunderstand; I am not asking for a “gay contact”; What I mean is a mature person, who could help me from his own experience think more clearly about the many problems and questions that besiege my mind.)

I should add here that I am planning to go into psychoanalysis next year, largely in order to try to find out the underlying cause of this aberration, as well as other personality problems which seem related to it. At the present time I am not one of those who try to insist that seeking homosexual relations is as “normal” as heterosexual love. I feel I could be much happier without it and could probably make other people happier too. But as long as I have these desires it is useless to fight them, for that is certainly creating happiness for no one but only frustration and emptiness. If you would care to comment on your personal feelings about psychiatry and the (1) elimination or (2) acceptance of the homosexual desire, I would certainly be very grateful as I have no one to talk to who can be objective on these questions.

If you folks have any books such as The Sixth Man or any others that you think apply to my questions, if you send them to my college address so that they definitely get here before May 20th (otherwise they might get routed to my parents home and the possibility that they are opened by mistake by them, God Forbid!) please send them and I will send you the money for them right away. I would also be interested in back copies of ONE if such are available (I have only the February ’62 issue.)

Finally I want to tell you how impressed I am by your magazine. What impresses me most is the combination of common-sense, sensitivity, honesty, and high level of maturity of everything in it. If nothing else, your magazine has seemed to me to be the proof that one can be well-balanced, creative, and reasonable and mature members of society, for you must surely be such people to be able to put out such a magazine. It is for this reason that I have been very frank in this letter, because I trust that you will take these questions which mean so much to me seriously and help me try to find answers, or at least begin to find out the way to find answers to them.

I look forward most impatiently to hearing from you, and only wish that I was on the West Coast so I could come and talk to you personally and express my personal gratitude for your magazine as well.

Your friend,

Russell

2 August 1963

Omaha, Nebraska

Dear Sir:

I know you can't answer my question, but how does one find love? The one time in my life I tried to make friends with a man that attracted me—I was quite naïve then—worked for the same company that I did. I'm certain that I attracted him too, but he seemed to lead me on and then reject me. I was eventually fired, but in the meantime I went through such severe persecution that my health was destroyed both physically and mentally. I ended up under the care of a doctor and psychologist. After I was fired, I was unable to find a job in almost a years time in this city (Los Angeles) even though I have a college education. Finally my parents asked me to come home and enter a mental hospital, which I did. ...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Biography and Self-Analysis
• Chapter 2: Love, Sex, and Relationships
• Chapter 3: Repression and Defiance
• Chapter 4: Incarceration
• Chapter 5: Representations and Stereotypes
• Notes