Swamiji

Swami Kriyananda's Last Years, Lessons Learned by His Nurse

Miriam Rodgers

• Publisher: Crystal Clarity Publishers
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781565895935
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religious Biographies

Swamiji and Stories of His Life

Paramhansa Yogananda once said to a group of disciples: "You must not let the symphony of your life go unfinished."

This phrase perfectly describes the last years of Swami Kriyananda's life, which were a crescendo of divine love and untiring service to humanity. Who was Swami Kriyananda? What was it like to know this close and direct disciple of the great Master, Paramhansa Yogananda?

In Swamiji, Miriam Rodgers shares an intimate and up-close look at lessons she learned through her connection as Swami Kriyananda's nurse for the last eight years of his life.

In this profoundly moving biographical account filled with never before heard stories, you'll glimpse the interior castle of Swami Kriyananda's consciousness. Throughout history, the saints alone are the true custodians of religion. Saints like Swami Kriyananda draw their understanding from the direct experience of truth and of God, not from superficial reasoning or book learning.

You'll be spellbound and inspired by the story of Swamiji.

Chapter 8

Circumstances Are Neutral

Early in 2008, Swamiji decided it was time to move the work in India to Pune. He felt Ananda India needed to start a community where devotees could live together. So the search was on to find land outside of Pune where we could begin to build a community. Since Swamiji was ready to move to Pune immediately, the scouts were looking not only for land but also for housing in the city where we could live right away. There would be many obstacles to overcome and much tapasya to perform before the community would manifest.

In the summer of 2008 Swamiji had a speaking tour in Los Angeles. As many know, Swamiji had been dismissed from his guru’s organization, Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF), in 1962, and he struggled for the rest of his life for reconciliation with the organization. The separation was a great source of sadness to him. On a personal level, he saw them as his gurubhais, and treasured the time they’d shared together serving Master. On a broader level, he felt that harmony between the organizations would please Master and would strengthen both organizations in their service. Till this day, however, that reconciliation has not taken place.

During the Los Angeles tour, it was arranged for Swamiji to meet with three SRF monks. At the SRF Lake Shrine Swamiji met for over an hour with monks who had joined SRF many years after Master’s passing: Vishwananda, Chidananda (now the president), and another brahmachari. Jyotish and Devi Novak, the spiritual directors of Ananda worldwide, and Krishnadas and Mantradevi LoCicero, the spiritual directors of Ananda Los Angeles, joined Swamiji for this meeting. A large group of Ananda devotees were also at the Lake Shrine, walking the grounds and meditating, sending Swamiji love and light. It was a very disheartening experience for Swamiji; while he had hoped to create a bridge, they just wanted to tell him what a bad person he was and to call him on the carpet about a variety of strange things. He said afterwards that they were so self-righteous the idea of reconciliation seemed impossible.

The 1962 ouster from SRF and the continuing schism between SRF and Ananda had surely been the greatest tests in Swamiji’s life. After meeting the SRF monks, he had some unusual episodes of profound weakness and dizziness. He was unable even to eat that evening and had to lie down on the couch at Krishnadas and Mantradevi’s house. The following morning, he couldn’t get out of bed and slept until lunchtime. His vital signs and blood tests were normal so he continued with all of the planned events of the weekend.

Usually when returning home after such a big weekend, Swamiji would need to rest for a few days and then he would bounce back to full energy. It had been a week since we returned to the Village and each day brought no notable improvement. We’d been trying to walk with him a few times a day, but it tired him so much it was a cause for concern.

Dr. Peter Van Houten felt we should check things out by having Swamiji undergo a Treadmill ECG. Swamiji passed his treadmill test with flying colors! In fact, his heart pumped more effectively with exercise than when he was at rest.

His cardiologist gave the go-ahead to start a consistent exercise program. Swamiji reluctantly agreed to an exercise regime of walking in his gardens at Crystal Hermitage as well as doing the Energization Exercises every day. Due to profound fatigue, he had not done the Energization Exercises in a while. We planned that Swamiji would walk in the gardens three to four times a day and enlisted the help of others to come and walk with him. I did the morning round with him; Jyotish and Devi came for the late afternoon walk and then would stay with him for tea; others helped with walks in between.

One morning early into the new regime, as he and I were walking around the garden, he had to stop and rest in the gazebo. As he sat, he spoke about giving up the body; he felt he had done enough and was finished with this lifetime. He said he didn’t really need to write Part Two of The Promise of Immortality because he’d already written most of the information in Rays of the One Light. At this point, I very quietly asked, “Swamiji, what about the work in India?” He took a deep breath and said, “Yes, I know. I’m needed there.” I’d been talking to him earlier that week about how we could get him in shape if he wanted to tour the major cities in India. And there was the building of the community in Pune to consider. At the end of this conversation, he looked at me quite sternly and said, “Let’s see if we can make this happen.” From that moment on, he moved beyond simply accepting the situation with SRF, and began truly to glorify it. He actually did the tour of India during the last eight months of his life, about three and a half years later.

The following week he led an amazing Spiritual Renewal Week. Dharmadas and Nirmala Schuppe, then spiritual directors of Ananda India, attended and talked with Swamiji about the next steps for Ananda India. This seemed to help him immensely. His enthusiasm for the work in India returned full force. Swamiji was his old self again, full of joy, energy, and enthusiasm, talking more and more about his return to India. He began sharing his plans to move to Pune soon after Christmas and hoped to have a large celebration for Master’s birthday, which he thought would be a wonderful way to launch the work there. Only ten days earlier, he had asked me in a very grave and tired voice if I thought he would ever return to India. I told him most emphatically, “Yes, I do.”

Swamiji’s battle with profound fatigue lasted until the end of his life. His despondency about his relationship with SRF also continued. But all of this was simply the physical plane. His soul soared in bliss, ready to engage in hand-to-hand combat with Satan when needed, as he moved forward to serve his guru’s work.

Swamiji had been wondering about options for housing in Pune and was open to almost anything. Amol Parkhi, a devotee from Pune, suggested we could all rent a section of one of the newer apartment complexes. Swamiji could have his own apartment and the rest of us could live in adjacent units. Swamiji liked this idea, since it might encourage some Pune devotees also to move into the complex, helping to launch a sense of community. We could have room for the Sangha offices, Kriya ministry, and publications, as well as a temple for daily meditations, satsangs, and more.

Between the months of September and December 2008, a scouting crew found a new apartment complex in the part of Pune closest to the land where we hoped to build our community. Deposits were made, rent paid, and work begun to make the apartments ready for Swamiji and all of us.

Immediately after Christmas, we began packing the belongings in Guru Kripa, Swamiji’s home in Gurgaon, for our move to Pune. Somehow, we got everything packed in time; Swamiji took off for a short vacation in Goa while many of us went to Pune to get the apartments ready for his arrival. He moved into his apartment in January 2009 and during his time there accomplished some important projects. He completed editing Catherine Kairavi’s book, Two Souls, Four Lives. He rewrote his autobiography, The Path, renaming it The New Path, and recorded himself reading the new book aloud.

Swamiji’s primary goal, however, continued to be getting the community started in Pune. Miraculously, land was purchased and building commenced. In January 2010, Swamiji’s home in our Ananda India community near Pune was declared “ready!” I have to say, this was quite an overstatement!

Biraj Palmer, who was supervising much of the construction work on the Pune land, wrote about Swamiji’s house just a week before he was scheduled to move in:

There have been one hundred people, each day, working on the building site over the past two weeks! All the window arches and final painting are getting completed today; on Tuesday, there is a big workday with our Pune congregation to do deep cleaning; the bubble-wrapped furniture comes by truck Tuesday night; the glass windows get installed Wednesday night; and the last electrical and plumbing hookups happen Thursday — if all goes well. . . . It’s a race, but Vidura assures me that “we have a good chance” of winning!

Bless you all. Keep your prayers and blessings coming for a successful finish to this fun and fascinating adventure. As Narayani put it, “Divine Mother has to be in this flow. Because it’s not possible that humans by themselves could build seven buildings in only seven months!”

Swamiji was in Goa waiting for the construction to be finished so he could move in. But he was having a difficult time with the body again and wrote me the following email from Goa:

Dear Miriam:

I’ve been getting a good rest. I must have been very tired, because for the first two weeks I spent most of my time sleeping in my room. Yesterday, finally, I felt refreshed and rested. But today again I am tired. My heart is tired. And I’ve begun to wonder: Is India good for me? I hope I’ll be fine at Watunde [the town where our community is located]. Remember all the troubles I had in my first years here. Remember how I left India last May, on the point of dying. Your memory will tell you better than mine how I was during the interim period.

I’d appreciate your thoughts. We’ve had a lot of salt in our diet, and that may be contributing to my heart’s fatigue. I’m happy to live usefully, wherever Master wants me. But I’d certainly find it easier to serve if my heart were only not so tired all the time.

Maybe I’ll be fine again tomorrow. Meanwhile, however, you might give all this a little thought.

love,

Swami

I responded:

Dear Swamiji,

The illnesses and diseases that have often manifested in your body, although they seem physical in nature and we treat you with various medical interventions, I’ve always seen as completely spiritual in their causation. Just as the Christ underwent crucifixion, it wasn’t about him needing to undergo such intense physical suffering, but was rather for the mitigation of his disciples’ karma and also somewhat for the redemption of the mass karma incurred during Kali Yuga.

In these past years, I’ve seen you go through many passions of Christ. However, last May was a much deeper Passion, ending with a profound Resurrection. You were dying, Swamiji, and there was no way you would have survived all the critical conditions that were present in your body except through divine intervention. You told me afterwards it was Master’s will, as opposed to his grace, that you survived, and you felt now you’d live a lot longer. As you came quite suddenly out of this critical situation with the body, you told Asha you realized it had been Satan trying to prevent you from bringing forth this new renunciate order. One can only imagine how deep and universally significant the consequences will be from the launching of this new swami order, and most especially in India.

Swamiji, if it seems that India is not good for you, it’s surely because there is still yet a great work to be done there. And perhaps much of the tapasya needed for such a work will be done in your poor body. I’m sorry if this is true, because it’s been wonderful to see you so full of good health and vitality since last June. Let’s wait and see how you do after you get home. With Lila’s cooking, Jyotish and Devi coming, filming to start, and countless devotees eagerly awaiting your darshan, you will, without a doubt, be given the strength to finish this great work Master has given to you.

You’re ever in my prayers.

love,

Miriam

Moving Swamiji into his new house in the Pune community was quite a project. Nirmala and others were successful in making him comfortable in his new house. Even though Swamiji’s house was declared “finished,” Dharmadas can attest that the house was far from it! It required constant repairs to keep electricity, lights, computer, and hot water functioning.

Most of the staff dwellings were still mere shells, so it was difficult to find places for Swamiji’s staff to stay. The houses for staff were small “kutirs”: one-room studios with a bathroom and a small area for a combined bedroom and meditation area. At this point in their construction, there were no windows, no screens, no electricity, no water, no kitchen! The Schuppes’ house was the farthest along, but it was still under construction. However, Nirmala invited all three of us, Lila, Lakshman, and myself, to camp out in their house.

Because of her service as Swamiji’s cook, Lila had no choice except to completely move onto the land into whatever quarters she could find. For a long time, she stayed in what would eventually become Dharmadas’s office. Lila’s first night in the house was pitch dark with no electricity, candles, or flashlight! Lakshman’s service as Swamiji’s secretary required constant electricity and internet, so he needed to live in the Pune apartments and come out to the land when he could find a ride. I was offered a space on the floor in the Schuppes’ living room, but I felt there was no way I could stay there camping out, so I went back to the Pune apartments. Not very yogic, but there you have it.

Later that same night, Swamiji phoned around midnight. I knew that eating so much salty food during his long vacation in Goa was putting him into congestive heart failure. Dharmadas and I, by phone, had been making almost daily adjustments to his diuretics to try to prevent this from happening. But it had been difficult to do this effectively long distance. I thought for this one night he would be okay until morning, when I would dose him quite heavily with diuretics. But that proved not the case. In the middle of the night he became very short of breath and feared he was having a heart attack. He even tried to phone Dr. Peter in the U.S. before he called me, because he knew I wasn’t physically available (the apartments were an hour’s drive from the land). There wasn’t anything that could be done in the night, so Swamiji agreed to wait until morning.

The next morning, after the dose of diuretics, Swamiji began to feel somewhat better, and soon recovered completely. It was obvious, however, that I needed to move to the land and spend many of my nights there. I had hoped I could commute to the land sometimes from our apartments in Pune, but that just wasn’t working out. I decided to move to the land just as Lila had done. In fact, as I was looking at Lila that day, I saw how clear her face had become. Such joyful blue eyes. I saw what it meant to completely surrender one’s preferences, and I was inspired to try and do it myself.

In these first days there was no running water — certainly no purified water — minimal electricity; no furniture; no glass on many of the windows, with bugs and mosquitoes freely coming in; and workers (sometimes as pesky as mosquitoes) coming in and out all day. But soon we had purified water in the Schuppes’ kitchen, more electricity (it was usually off from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. and off again from 11 p.m. to 8 a.m.), and there was running water in the bathroom. Progress was happening!!!

With every step, I had to face full on many of my ego-gratifying desires. I wanted running water — it didn’t have to be hot; cold showers are fine (there was no hot water). I wanted pure water to drink, and this didn’t seem to me to be optional. Some electricity seemed like a good thing. However, what I found was that I literally...