Disciple Her

Using the Word, Work, & Wonder of God to Invest in Women

Kandi Gallaty

• Publisher: B&H Books
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781535902472
• eBook ISBN: 9781535902489
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

We all know Jesus commands us to disciple others.

But how are we supposed to do this in everyday life? How can women, no matter what stage of life they are in, be a disciple who makes disciples? How can we find time to invest ourselves into others when it feels like our schedules are already full? What is our place in carrying out the Great Commission?

In this practical book, Kandi Gallaty helps you develop an effective disciple-making strategy in your life and the lives of others. Disciple Her is filled with Kandi’s personal stories, more than a decade’s worth of discipleship experiences, and most importantly, her commitment to the Word of God.

Kandi doesn’t stop at helping women understand what discipleship is—she gives them a practical game plan for weaving it into their weekly lifestyle, and teaching those they disciple to do the same. Disciple Her will be a point of reference for women to use time and time again in the years to come as women intentionally obey Jesus’ command to invest their lives into others.  

1

The DNA of a Disciple-Maker

I was not the first of my friends to have children, but that didn’t stop me from having opinions about them. Many times, I’d be sitting in their living rooms or out with them at lunch and the kids would start acting out or becoming disrespectful. Sooner or later, the kids would start throwing fits for not getting their way. And I’d sit there, imagining all the ways the mom should just get those kids under control!

You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been there. We see a little toddler throwing a tantrum for not getting his way or being loudly disrespectful. You may see them throwing themselves down in the toy aisle or refusing to obey simple instructions. I remember thinking on more than one occasion, My child will never act that way.

Well, the Lord has a sense of humor, doesn’t He?

I was soon blessed with two rambunctious boys and found myself eating my words (even if I just kept them to myself). My sons are absolute blessings, but they keep me on my toes—and sometimes at my wit’s end. I learned quickly that my opinions about parenting weren’t worth much until I became a parent myself. I needed to be in that role and position before I acted like I knew what I was doing. And believe me, I get a lot of hands-on training.

I was recently at the store with them as they provided the entertainment for the long line of customers waiting to check out. When it was finally our turn, the sweet cashier said with a smile on her face, “You certainly have your hands full!” And she is right. There is nothing like being a mom of boys very close in age. I happened to learn this in parenting, but the same is true for anything really—like the people with no real creative training or experience, yet think they are a professional photographer simply because they have an iPhone and Instagram. Or the people who tell their kid’s teacher what to do when they’ve never worked a day in the educational field. Or the people who ramble to their doctor about what Google said, though there’s obviously only one person in the room who actually went to medical school. It’s funny how we, in one way or another, can have opinions on things of which we have never had an active role in.

That is exactly how discipleship works. You have to be a disciple yourself before you make disciples. You must be before you can do. Don’t be scared by that sentence—being a disciple simply means being a lifelong learner. It is a lifestyle of leading yourself so that you can lead others. When God called us to Himself, it was a call to discipleship. It was a calling to follow after Him.

Abide in the Word

One of my goals when I am meeting with ladies in my discipleship groups (called D-Groups from here on out) is to help them develop spiritual disciplines that will last a lifetime. The Bible says in John 8:31–32, “Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you continue in my word, you really are my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” The disciple-maker’s goal is to make disciples who are passionate about God’s truth.

Jesus said something interesting in those verses. He used the word continue, which means to remain, abide, to keep being present. It is an ongoing relationship, not a momentary one. By continuing, you will know the truth and that truth will set you free. It will deliver you and liberate you. I like to rhyme when I can, so I tell women I disciple, “In order to survive and thrive you need to abide.” We need to be grounded and rooted in the Word of God.

While some new converts have an insatiable and immediate appetite for Scripture, some don’t. Not everyone magically has a love and desire for the Word after getting saved. It doesn’t even automatically come when you get into a discipleship relationship. It’s like with any other relationship when you love someone: the more you know them, the more you love them and want to spend time with them.

When Robby and I were dating, we spent a summer apart because he was a camp pastor in Glorieta, New Mexico. He was gone for more than two months. We would talk every day on the phone for as long as we could, and we were always writing emails to each other. Robby would email me the sweetest letters and poems; I would save them and read them over and over. Eventually I printed them out and laminated them. I love to go back and read his letters to me. I keep them in our keepsake box so that we have them to show our boys one day.

I not only have a keepsake box for Robby and me, but for both of our boys too. All of the items near and dear to our hearts go in those boxes so we can pull them out from time to time and reminisce. That is how most keepsake boxes work: we put them on a shelf in the closet and pull them out only when we feel like it.

The sad truth is most of us treat the Bible the same way. We consider it precious but not a priority. We want to have one and keep it safe but we don’t want to saturate ourselves with it. It sits collecting dust even though we are called to continue in Jesus’ Word. We are to steep ourselves in it, sit and soak in it. Too often we are content just dipping our toes in either for the sake of getting a sweet pick-me-up when we need it, or simply for the sake of having done it.

Even now, the more I spend time with my husband, the more I love and appreciate him. We have been married for fourteen years and I love him more now than I ever could have on our wedding day. That is because I know him so much better than I did then. We have spent time together and we have grown in our relationship.

The Bible works the same way. I loved reading Robby’s words to me, but they weren’t what gave me life. While words from the man I love could remind me how he felt and help strengthen my relationship with him, only God’s words have the power to change and sustain me! The more you spend time with God reading and applying His word, the more you love, respect, and admire it. It becomes your life’s consuming passion.

Cherish the Word

Sometimes hearing other people’s passion for God’s Word helps inspire our own. One person—William McPherson—had a commitment to Scripture that was remarkable. He was a Scottish quarry worker who came to America in 1893 and settled outside of Denver. A hard worker, William eventually earned the spot of quarry superintendent. Though he had a number of admirable traits, he tended to be a bit impatient at times.

One day his impatience got the best of him and he grabbed a live stick of dynamite. It exploded while he was hovered over it. They were hours away from a doctor, but thanks to the efforts of his coworkers, he didn’t die. Unfortunately, though, the accident left him with no hands, little feeling in his face, and no eyesight. From that moment on, he was blind.

Up to this point in his life he had lived for himself, reckless and free. Now, he was entirely dependent on others to help him get by. On several occasions before, others had tried to share Christ with him; now, due to his accident, he was in a place to listen.

He gave his heart to the Lord in the coming months but was not satisfied by simply having someone read Scripture to him. He longed for the ability to read it for himself.

His injury was taxing to those around him, though—emotionally, physically, and financially. Eventually, his family found themselves unable to take care of him so he entered a home in Illinois for the aged and disabled. Day in and day out he lived in darkness and solitude. He lived out the repetitive mornings, the same-song afternoons, and the identical evenings, armed with little more than his newfound hope in Christ. It was desperately lonely, and he had little hope that anything about his life would change until he died.

At the nearby school, lecturers would come and speak about various topics that the people in the home were facing. One day he learned of a young blind girl who had learned Braille and was able to read her Bible with her fingertips. William couldn’t do this because the explosion had taken his hands. Over time, this young girl lost the feeling in her own hands and was distraught. She brought the Bible to her lips one day to kiss it goodbye, and to her amazement, felt something. She discovered that she could feel the raised letters with her lips!

The story of this young girl had William pondering whether there was hope for him. He had lived in blackness for five years when God sent a blind girl named Anna Johnson to the home to work with some of the blind patients. Working with William proved to be frustrating, though: he had no hands, so conventional reading wouldn’t work. He had no feeling in his face, so the technique the little girl had adopted wouldn’t work either, although they tried many times. One day William asked Anna when she was about to go home for the day, if she could leave with him one of the little cards they had been practicing with.

He kept trying to feel the little raised bumps with different parts of his body, when he realized he had not prayed and asked God for help. So he earnestly begged God for help. The next time he raised the card to his lips, his tongue slipped out and brushed the paper. To his astonishment, he could feel the raised letters with his tongue! He couldn’t wait for Anna to come back so he could tell her.

With Anna’s help, William learned how to read braille with his tongue. In the sixty-five years that followed, and after much bleeding and soreness, William McPherson read the entire Bible four times with his tongue.2

I am absolutely blown away by this man. His example leaves those of us who can see with no excuse. God forbid we die and stand next to William in heaven, and we can’t say that we have read the Bible once with all parts of our body functioning properly. That would be a true tragedy.

The year I heard this, I happened to be in the middle of reading the Bible in its entirety for the first time. At the end of the year, on December 31, I went to Robby in tears and told him, “If I die and stand next to William, I can say I have one under my belt. He would have four and I would have one.”

Then the next year came and on December 31, I went to Robby and I said, “If I die and stand next to William, he will have four and I have two.” It became a sort of benchmark for me, a small way to measure how devoted I was to spending time in God’s Word. I wasn’t rushing through, I wasn’t using Bible reading as a measure of my relationship, but rather as something of a barometer for my passion. By the end of the third year I could tell William if I saw him in heaven that I had read God’s Word three times through. Though that was a feat by itself, something even more remarkable had happened: I had cultivated a passion for the Word of God.

As the years have gone on, I have learned that I don’t have to read the Bible in its entirety every year. It’s not about the quantity of Scripture we read, but the quality time spent in it. As my focus shifted from reading large quantities of Scripture to smaller, I’ve noticed that I now read “less” in order to digest more. But this is all just a part of my journey. If you have never read the Bible through, I cannot stress enough how enriching of an experience it is. You get a full view of the work that God has done in His people and see how His plan fits together perfectly—and continues to this day. If you’ve never read it through, it is never too late to begin.

The Chicago Tribune published an article about William on April 2...

Table of contents

• Foreword
• Introduction
• Part 1: What Is Discipleship?
• Part 2: Behind the Scenes of Discipleship
• Appendices
• F-260 Bible Reading Plan
• Notes