I ORIENTATION
1
We are the Bolan sisters. Calliope, Lorelei, and Serafina.
If our names sound like they were plucked from a fairy tale, itās because they were. Momma wanted, above all things, to live in a fairy tale.
We have pale, freckly skin and dark auburn hair, which we refuse to cut. It falls in long jumbles down our backsāthick and wavy for Lorelei and me; wispy curls for Serafina. We are tall for our ages, respectively. We are clumsy. We have mammoth feet and delicate wrists. We see the world with perfect vision. Lorelei and I have green eyes. Serafinaās eyes are brown. When we are together, we collect stares weād rather return. See? Itās the Bolan girls. The ones who survived.
We donāt live in a fairy tale, but people regard us, sometimes, as if we are more story than girl. More myth than flesh that hurts and bleeds and grieves.
Serafina is seven, the baby. Lorelei and I are so close in age, so close in appearance, so close that we are often mistaken for twins. I am the oldest, sixteen. My sister is fifteen, a year and change behind me.
Our mother loved all magical stories and consulted a variety of sources when naming her daughters. My name, Calliope, was drawn from ancient Greek myth. Lorelei owes hers to German folklore. Serafina is from seraphim, angels of the highest order in Abrahamic religious lore. Put us together, and we are part survival story, part fable, part cautionary tale.
We live with our father in a small village in the Adirondack Mountains. Our house is large and drafty and far from other houses. There is a nearby lake, from which our village takes its name. There is a grocery store and a general store and a movie theater with one screen. In the summer, the vacationers and second-homers move in, and the village hums with life. In the winter, we hunker down, shrinking to a quarter of our size. About eight hundred families live in Plover Lake year round; at school, we average 11.7 students per grade. In harshest winter, you could pack us all into a snow globe and shake.
The Bolans have always lived here, before the accident and after.
When I was little, I loved our house, our school, our postcard town. In my fantasies, I would always live here with my mother, my father, my sisters, and our dog. I could not fathom growing up and moving away. What could possibly tear me from the place that held all my memories, my family, my firsts?
Now, the village is crushing me. It is so small. It has eyes and claws and teeth.
There is a fairy tale like that.
Tomorrow, I am leaving. I might never come back.
Thruway Tragedy: New York Woman Drives Minivan Into Lake
BY SAMIRA FARZAN
September 26, 2016
An investigation has been opened by local NY authorities.
GREENE COUNTYāOn Friday, an upstate New York woman, who was with her three daughters, drove a Honda Odyssey off the road and into a lake bordering the New York State Thruway. The woman, who has been identified as Kathleen Marie Bolan, 38, was found dead. Ms. Bolanās oldest daughter, 10, led the rescue, getting herself and her two sisters, 9 and 14 months, to safety. From the side of the road, the girls were able to flag down a driver who called 911. Police, assisted by a dive team, found the vehicle submerged in the lake. The body of Ms. Bolan was inside.
Local authorities are investigating possible causes to what the police chief calls āa tragic event.ā
Peter Bolan, the girlsā father and husband to Ms. Bolan, says his wife pulled his two oldest daughters out of school early that day without notifying him. āI have no idea where she was headed or why. There was no history of mental illness. Kathy would never drink and drive. You hear stories like this. I never thought it would be my wife, my daughters. Me asking the questionāwhy?ā
Why this happened is the question on everyoneās minds. The medics responding to the scene said it is āa miracleā all three daughters survived with only minor injuries. The girls, who are all in stable condition, did not describe any strange behavior from their mother leading up to the crash, and police report no immediate evidence of alcohol or substance use.
āPossibilities include a mechanical failure or distracted driving,ā says Chief Mason Sumner of the Greene County Regional Department of Public Safety, who is investigating the crash. āA suicide and triple homicide attempt has not been ruled out as a possible cause. We havenāt ruled anything out at this point. The autopsy may turn up more. I hope weāll be able to get answers for the family.ā
Chief Sumner says he does not believe any other vehicles were involved. Police are trying to determine what happened just before the crash and are seeking the publicās help. If you have any information about the collision, which took place Friday around 4:00 p.m. on 1-87, near the Athens exit, please call the Greene County Regional Department of Public Safety at 518ā958ā2461.
2
If Momma had gotten the air-conditioning in the minivan fixed, we wouldnāt have been driving with all the windows down that day six years ago. A curse when the water rushed in fast, so fast. Then a blessing, an escape. But our mother hated to spend money on practical matters, as if the air-conditioning might fix itself, or the leaky bathroom faucet, or the clogged gutters. Or as if those things didnāt matter.
It wasnāt because we didnāt have the money. Dad had a steady job and Momma was always āsaving her pennies for a rainy day,ā which was a bit of an exaggeration because those pennies came from a generous trust set up by the wealthy grandparents we rarely saw, and rainy days could be any day, filled with fun things like ice cream and adventures with her girls.
Dad was the voice of reason. Dad did the shopping, the upkeep, made sure we were clothed and fed and had the right number of subject notebooks and a full pack of pencils on the first day of school. Momma made sure we had treats stashed in our bags and scavenger hunts on our birthdays.
If Dad had known about the broken air-conditioning, he would have seen that it got taken care of, but only Momma ever drove the minivan. And so that Friday in September, as we sped away from the elementary schoolāLorelei and I in the middle row, Serafina, the baby, in her car seat in the backāand toward one of our motherās secret adventures, destination unknown, we had the windows open, and a warm breeze was rushing through.
Momma was in a good mood that dayāthe best mood. Her gold chandelier earrings danced back and forth across the tops of her shoulder blades as she drove and belted out Fleetwood Mac and Tori Amos and Florence + the Machine and all the music she only put on when she was feeling a little nostalgic and a lot giddy about some surprise she had in store. Her voice was throaty and lilting. She smelled like the lilac perfume she wore for special occasions. She threw us kisses in the rearview.
At some point, we stopped for gas and car snacks. When we got back on the road, the afternoon sun was warm on our faces. My sisters and I dozed off.
When the van swerved off the highway, smashed through the guardrail, and sailed into the narrow strip of water along the side of I-87, my sisters and I were still sleeping. Dad was at work. Sebastian, our blue-eyed Aussie puppy, was at home. Momma was driving.
Lorelei always says I sleep like the dead. When we hit the water, I didnāt wake up right away. I was dreaming about Six Flags. We were on The Comet, and everyone was screaming. The roller coaster trembled just slightly on its rails; the wooden beams were white slashes below us, beside us. The clouds were so close I could touch them with my fingertips. I left trails in the sky. The leaves were orange and yellow flames streaking through blue. As we whipped through the park, the spray from the water rides splashed against our faces. We screamed and screamed.
I woke to cold waterārushing in, filling the van, dragging us under. Screams and screams. Only our mother was silent in the front, slumped over the steering wheel. Momma! Dark streaks, dancing in front of my eyes. Loreleiās bare foot, tangled in something. The seat belt. I clawed at mine, got it off, and the water kept rushing in, greedy, greedy. I got Serafina out of her car seat. Iād helped our mother fasten and unfasten her plenty of times; plenty of times she was wailing, screeching, inconsolable, but this was harder, scarier than anything Iād ever done. Get Momma, I screamed to Lorelei, but my sister was frozen, staring.
Then we couldnāt scream anymore because the water was everywhere, snatching our voices, sucking up all the air. I clutched Serafina to my chest and groped for Loreleiās hand, pulled hard. I half climbed, half swam, dragging Lorelei at first, until something finally clicked, and she started moving behind me, toward the front of the van, the open passengerās side window.
The dashboard, lit up like Christmas. Loreleiās pink jelly shoe, rising on the water, rushing past me into the back. Momma, still slumped over the steering wheel, hair floating in a dark cloud around her, the gold sparkle of her earrings tangled in the strands. No air. Water, everywhere. Momma! I needed to stop, to get her out, but my lungs burned and my baby sister squirmed against me. There was no time.
I pulled myself out through the passengerās side window, into the lake, and Lorelei followed. The stretch of water was deep but narrow. We swam to shore.
My sisters and I survived, but our mother never woke up. Kathleen Marie Bolan, forever thirty-eight, forever preserved in sticky amberāMomma. Never aging for us, never graduating to Mom or Ma. Something terrible happened while your three princesses were sleeping. Maybe something scared you, caused the wheel to jerk. A witch, a wolf, an evil queen.
People say a lot of things. That you were irresponsible, distracted. That you wanted to die. That you tried to take us with you. I stuff cotton in my ears, push those voices out. Some fairy tales are dark, hideous, pulsing with blood and sorrow. But I know you. That wasnāt your kind of fairy story. You wanted the dazzling ending, fireworks in the sky, the happily ever after.
Dad says that sometimes, bad things happen to good people. Six years later, the cause of the accident is officially āinconclusive.ā Dad says that it was a terrible tragedy, and maybe thatās all weāll ever get to know. This is enough for him, or at least he says it is. But I donāt think it will ever be enough for me.
3
Orientation day one, Tipton Academy. Lunch was a picnic on āQuadrant West,ā which normal people might call āthe west quad,ā but we would never adopt such a pedestrian moniker here at Tipton. Dinner is the first unorganized activity for first-years and transfers (eight sophomores, the three other juniors, and me), which is not to say it is disorganized, but rather that we have not been broken into groups or sorted by dorm or assigned a buddy. At six, I find myself standing at the front of Rhine dining hall, clutching my tray, and feeling very much alone.
āCalliope, over here!ā My head swivels, I hope not too desperately, in search of the voice currently butchering my name. Callie-ope, like Callie-nope.
An arm, a wave. Itās Nico Hale. Year: junior. Dorm: Chandler. Learning styles: auditory and kinesthetic. Superpower: graphic design. (Our afternoon āGetting to Know the Secret Youā breakout sessions were led by the orientation leaders and our prefects, a schmancy boarding school name for the senior dorm monitors. Nico, our groupās orientation leader, encouraged each of us to ādiscloseā a superpower to our breakout group, a not-so-cleverly-masked way of asking, āWhatās your favorite hobby?ā I panicked and went with knitting, which isnāt really true. This summer, I knit three scarves: one for Dad and one for each of my sisters. I wanted to say Iām sorry Iām leaving, and I love you, and this isnāt about you. Iām not sure my scarves said any of that.)
I make my way to Nicoās table in the center of Rhine. Many tables are unoccupied, and Iām grateful to not be haunting one of those empty seats. Two more days of orientation stretch ahead of us, then the weekend will bring the rest of the returning students before classes start on Monday.
āThanks,ā I say, scooting into an open seat at Nicoās table. I recognize two other orientation leaders and another junior transfer, Marjorie. The others must be prefects or fall athletes....