The Little Book of Big Ethical Questions

Susan Liautaud

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Year: 2022
• Print ISBN: 9781982132224
• eBook ISBN: 9781982132248
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Social Science Research & Methodology

Perfect for your next dinner party discussion, The Little Book of Big Ethical Questions presents some of today's most thought-provoking ethical questions in a welcoming, easy-to-discuss Q&A format, with guidance from a renowned ethicist. Often a single question can spark a meaningful exchange—like "Would you apply for a job you know your friend is applying for?" Or "Should voting be mandatory?" Or what about police using facial recognition technology? Questions like these spur us to consider: What would I have done? Is there one correct answer? And ultimately: How can ethics help us navigate these situations to find the best outcome for ourselves and others?An ethicist who advises leaders and organizations worldwide, Susan Liautaud asks intriguing questions that encourage lively discussion across a range of subjects, from family and friends to health and technology to politics, work, and consumer choices. She then walks through the ways you might approach each situation to find the best answer for you.Grab the book, gather a few friends, and dive in!

Could you be friends with someone whose political views differ from your own?

In the lead-up to the June 2016 Brexit vote in the United Kingdom about whether or not the United Kingdom should exit the European Union, family relationships and friendships began to show signs of stress. For some, the Brexit vote cut to the core of their—and their nation’s—identity and autonomy. For others, economics, trade, the future of the younger generation, education, national security, and more were at stake. Additionally, the mix of views suffered from distorted information, fueling racism and anti-immigrant sentiments. Still, I found it difficult to believe that families were not speaking to one another, or worse, over a political matter.

Fast-forward to the highly contentious November 2020 U.S. presidential election. Many supporters of candidate Biden felt that under then President Trump we had lost our American integrity and global reputation—both the “soul of the nation” and the very foundations of democracy. Many supporters of President Trump claimed, like Brexiteers, that American identity and “greatness” were at stake. Relationships among friends, colleagues, and family members across the country were fraying under the keenly felt strain of political polarization.

Exploration

This question probes the ethical foundations of friendship. When relationships collide with some of the most contentious issues in modern society, topics that at first might have seemed abstract rapidly become personal.

Friendship doesn’t require friends to agree with each other on everything. Presumably, you didn’t become friends with someone solely because of their political perspective. Friendships result in a fundamental human connection that can far outlast our political views, which can change or become outdated over time.

Moreover, expressing political views and voting constitute free speech, a pillar of democracy. Friendships (and society) are strengthened by both the exchange of ideas and engagement with people with whom we disagree—even vehemently. Information silos are one of the most powerful spreaders of unethical behavior. Doris Kearns Goodwin’s award-winning biography of Abraham Lincoln, Team of Rivals, reminds us that our most ethical selves can emerge from intentionally engaging with those challenging our views, just as President Lincoln established a cabinet of rivals. Do we want our friendships to be judged based on how well our political views align? Or do we want to share our life experiences with humility, open-mindedness, and vulnerability? The latter option allows our friends to point out where they think we’d benefit from thinking again (even if we dig in our heels before doing so).

Recently, I must admit that this general view has challenged me more than at any other time in my life, because disregarding truth has become normal in politics. Increasingly, votes on political issues are seen as so important and defining that voting has become a choice between two sides: politics versus relationships. The distance between who we are and who our friends are, and who or what they voted for, has narrowed.

How do we reconcile our friendship with sometimes extreme politics? I believe we owe friends honesty about our own views, and the respect to not shame or condemn theirs except in extraordinary circumstances. As a practical matter, many people strike a balance with a friend whom they disagree with on a particular subject: they just don’t talk about certain issues and focus instead on the many points they have in common. This is also a good approach for work, where others may feel uncomfortable engaging in discussions about politics.

There are limits, however. Because of my principles, I might part ways with a friend who goes so far as to support inciting violence or harming others. Lying about the results of a democratically held election is a close second, because if the person is willing to lie about such an important proven fact I might wonder in what other areas they ignore the truth in favor of the results they prefer.

Should you take away the car keys from an elderly parent whose driving may be unsafe?

A close friend was worried about her elderly father driving. His driving skills and attention to the road had diminished over the years. She raised her concerns with him repeatedly, but he refused to consider giving up driving. His ability to drive gave him a sense of independence that was important to him.

One day, my friend knew her father was going to the doctor for an appointment and decided to force his hand. She called the police to stop him (keenly aware that his driving would be erratic), and they arrived just as he was pulling out of the driveway. They administered a test, which he failed, so they took away his driver’s license. He was unhappy, but it ultimately solved the problem.

Exploration

This question boils down to a potential conflict among key principles: safety, respect, and autonomy. Is it more important for the individual and the public to be safe, or for an individual to have the freedom and autonomy to do as they please? Other principles can be applied as well: courage, responsibility, truth, and compassionate nonjudgment. To navigate this balancing act, consider the potential consequences to the other stakeholders. If you don’t take the keys away, are there outcomes you couldn’t live with? Consider injury to your parents, and impact on anyone else on the road—not to mention their parents, children, and loved ones—and how you and your parents would feel if someone was badly injured.

One challenge this question spotlights is informed consent. In this case, you have all the information you need, so the “informed” part of informed consent isn’t an issue. But obtaining consent—asking a parent to give up freedom, and accept the reality of age-related concerns—is challenging. For many, it’s the first time an adult child may have to look after or “parent” their parents. Remind your parents of the risks and responsibilities, so they understand what is at stake. Be as specific as possible—a baby carriage being pushed across the street, a cyclist edging into the road, a jogger who crosses an intersection quickly… Ask them to consider how they would feel if they harmed someone else.

Even well-intentioned choices (postponing the discussion) can spread unethical behavior and breed a tolerance or normalization of potentially harmful behavior. Skewed incentives (our parent’s desire to remain independent, and our desire to avoid a difficult, emotional conversation) are one force that fuels this contagion. But it is possible to create positive contagion as well, starting with having conversations with your parents or relatives about when it is the right time to stop driving… and hoping that others follow your good practice.

If possible, seek alternatives and blended solutions. Elderly adults can maintain autonomy by using a rideshare service, a taxi service, or public transportation. Or, if they have the resources, your parent could pay someone to drive them on a regular basis to the stores they want to patronize, a friend’s house, or a religious service. A parent may also have friends who are safe drivers who can assist. Finally, you can call on the authorities as a neutral arbiter where it might help—for example, taking them for a voluntary driver’s license renewal test that you’re concerned they would fail.

Even easing into a difficult decision is better than doing nothing. Perhaps they will agree to no longer drive at night, or on the highway, or during rush hour. We might be under the impression that if we don’t attempt to take away the car keys of an elderly parent who is no longer safe behind the wheel, we haven’t made a decision. But of course, not making a decision is also a decision. We have decided not to intervene and leave open the possibility that they could get into a serious accident, injuring themselves—or innocent others.

Are you ethically obligated to help a neighbor?

A friend of someone I know—I’ll call her Monica—lives next to an elderly woman in the Pacific Northwest. The elderly woman doesn’t have much of a local support system, so one day she asked Monica for a favor. That favor has morphed into Monica driving her to doctor appointments, picking up her prescriptions, and checking in on her during the Covid-19 pandemic. Monica was torn between how much she should support her, versus how that physical support impacts the safety of her own family and children. She helped her neighbor set up a cell phone, calls her regularly, and stops in when she can.

Attempting to balance helping her neighbor with her own needs and responsibilities as a mother is a challenge. But Monica knows she would feel terrible if something happened to her neighbor because she hadn’t been able to lend a hand. And she is trying to navigate whether the fact that someone lives close by matters to the ethics of our decisions—how we define “neighbor” in a Zoom-connected world.

Various books of the Hebrew and Christian bibles, from Leviticus to Galatians, from Matthew to Mark, proclaim “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Buddhism highlights compassion and our connection to each other. The Fourteenth Dalai Lama says, “The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes.”

Exploration

Whatever the circumstances of your neighbor in need, in considering the question, start with an ethics triage, as if you were in an emergency room. Are the consequences of not helping a neighbor important and irreparable—such as a person falling gravely ill, or a young child being left unattended? Are you able to help—physically, practically, financially? For meeting many needs, living next door likely puts you in a unique position.

If you do decide to help set limits at the start: be specific about what you can and cannot do (feed the dog for three days, pick up prescriptions for the next month, or bring dinner several times, rather than “help out for a while” or “shop for food until a family member arrives from out of state”). Doing so sets expectations and establishes boundaries. If you prioritize kindness, compassion, and generosity, helping your neighbor may help reinforce the kind of person you want to be.

Nonetheless, we are not required to put ourselves at risk of harm, such as entering the home of someone with an infectious disease or stepping in to stop physical violence.

When you have fulfilled your offer to help, communicate that clearly. You are not obligated to continue. Sometimes the most effective help you can offer is to assist your neighbor in finding more sustainable alternatives—from home delivery services or maintenance providers to at-home care or other friends or family members. Or calling the authorities in the case of domestic violence.

I believe that we should try to contribute to the common good, particularly when we have the time, expertise, and resources to do so. There is an expectation that neighbors take care of one another. But no one has the resources to help everyone all of the time. And there’s no right way to define what a “neighbor” is or how to contribute. The person living next door may be a relative stranger, while a friend across town (or even at the other end of a Zoom call) is more of a real neighbor than those across the street. Additionally, you may be better able to offer a particular kind of help other than the requested task. In situations like this, we can proactively propose alternative help that we can provide.

I avoid considering why and how someone ended up in difficulty: once someone is in need, whether because of an accident, a health problem, or an unfortunate circumstance, the cause is less important than a forward-looking view of consequences of their situation and the provision, or not, of help. We are all susceptible of ethical mishaps. Keeping someone safe from contagious illnesses can prevent the spread in the wider community. Helping a neighbor can spur others to do the same, causing our actions to ripple outward and inspire others.

Are you ethically bound to pay for your uninsured sibling’s medical care for a serious illness or accident?

David was taken aback. His older sister, whom he hadn’t spoken to much in recent years apart from birthdays and holidays, had called to let him know that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Her oncologist wanted to schedule surgery, to be followed by extensive treatment. But what threw David even more was that his sister confided that she didn’t have health insurance. A single mother with two teenage sons, she worked as a freelance publicist and didn’t have much in the way of savings or retirement funds. Nonetheless, she took her kids on expensive vacations for many years. When pressed, she would tell David she was only fifty, and that she had plenty of years left.

Without health insurance, David realized that her medical bills would be more than she could handle. And she had no one else to turn to. Her marriage had ended acrimoniously, and their parents were no longer alive. When his sister talked about putting off the surgery for a few months, he felt an obligation to help out. David and his husband didn’t have a lot, but he knew he could tap into his retirement account. Thinking about it made him angry, though. He and his husband had always been so frugal with their expenses, savings, and mortgage—and his sister hadn’t been as responsible.

Exploration

The key issues here are your relationship with the individual (how close you are—or not), kinship (however you define family, not limited to biological relationships), how deserving you feel someone is of help, and your own financial situation.

Health care in the U.S. is a complicated mix of private employer-sponsored plans and government programs. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2019 55.4 percent of Americans get their health care coverage through their jobs. Senior citizens who are sixty-five and over are covered through the federal Medicare program while those with low incomes receive help from federal Medicaid programs. Still others buy subsidized health care through the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) marketplaces. But it’s a patchwork system, and ultimately not everyone has, or can afford, health care—the Census Bureau reports that 26.1 million people did not have health insurance in 2019. In other developed countries such as the United Kingdom, obtaining lifesaving medical care is not left up to the individual. As of 1948, virtually every citizen in the U.K. is covered by the National Health Service, which offers comprehensive health care through the government.

We are under no obligation to underwrite another’s health care, whether a famil...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Introduction: Ethics for Everyone
• Chapter 1: Family and Friends
• Chapter 2: Politics, Community, and Culture
• Chapter 3: Work
• Chapter 4: Technology
• Chapter 5: Consumer Choices
• Chapter 6: Health
• Conclusion: We Can All Do Ethics
• The Six Forces Driving Ethics
• Acknowledgments
• Notes
• Copyright