Twenty
In Which the Dashwood Sisters Receive Some Unexpected Callers
ELINOR WOKE TO A gentle hand shaking her shoulder. Her back ached and there was a crick in her neck. Why was she sleeping sitting up? What time was it? What day?
Then she remembered: Marianne!
She sat up with a start and her motherās voice, āShhhh, itās all right.ā
āMarianne?ā Elinor rasped.
āSheās sleeping,ā Mother whispered. āSee?ā
Elinor blinked the sleep out of her eyes and saw that it was midmorningāthe light bathed the bedroom in a pleasant yellow, an effect somewhat tempered by the metallic smell of old blood. Marianneās head was tilted to the left, her arms laid out carefully at her sides with the coverlet tucked neatly around her. Elinor studied her sister until she saw the gentle rise and fall of her chest and turned to see Mother holding a steaming cup of tea.
Mother pressed the tea into her hands and then tilted her head to the door. āLet Margaret sit with her awhile. We need to talk.ā
Margaret took Elinorās place, dragging in her writing box. Elinor could only imagine the tales that last nightās escapades would inspire. Elinor followed Mother downstairs, where Hannah had laid the table with breakfast, and she gulped her tea so quickly that she burned the roof of her mouth. āMarianne looked well, donāt you think?ā she asked her mother. āI think she might pull through. Sheās very stubborn.ā
āSheās not my only stubborn child,ā Mrs. Dashwood said, ābut yes, I think we have every reason to be hopeful.ā
This reassured Elinor, but it didnāt make her feel better. āIām so sorry, Mother.ā
āFor what, dear?ā
āEverything!ā Elinor burst out. āEverything just got so out of hand, and I never imagined that anyone would get shot. If Marianne doesnāt pull through, Iāll never forgive myself. As it is, I donāt know how I can. . . .ā
āOh, my Elinor . . .ā Her mother sighed and took Elinorās hands in her own. āYou take on so much responsibility for us all.ā
āOf course I do,ā Elinor said, blinking back tears. Why did Mother make it sound as though that were a bad thing? āYouāre my family.ā
āYes, and your love for us is one of the reasons why I love you, but my dear, your sisters have minds of their own, and their decisions are not yours. Neither are their consequences.ā
āSo it was Marianneās fault that she was shot?ā Elinor asked.
āHeavens, no! The blame for that lies solidly on the woman who shot at you, and Iāll let Willoughby share in it as well. All I mean is that you can only look after the ones you love within reason, and you cannot punish yourself for when bad things happen. Why, imagine if you hadnāt been with Marianne! I donāt think she would be with us right now if not for you, Elinor.ā
Elinor hadnāt thought of it like that, and she remembered her indecision outside of Greyās, as she watched Marianne march in alone. She had thought she made the wrong decision because she put Margaret in danger when she went after Marianne, but Mother was rightāit could have been so much worse for Marianne if they hadnāt followed her. If it hadnāt been for Margaret remembering to grab the smoke bomb, and Elinor creating a diversion, and Margaret directing them out of the fray . . .
Dashwoods really were resourceful. And they worked better together.
āNow, Iām afraid that I must ask you to forgive me,ā Mother said, her voice wavering and strained. āI have been the worst kind of mother lately.ā
āWhat! No, Mother . . . you lost your husband.ā
āAnd you girls lost your father. I would hate to think that you felt like you lost me as well.ā Mrs. Dashwood wiped tears from her eyes, but she managed a small smile. āYouāve looked after us so well, but I shouldnāt have made you feel as though you were responsible for taking care of us all.ā
Elinor opened her mouth to say . . . well, she wasnāt quite sure what, exactly. Not Itās all right or Donāt worry about it. No, because the truth was, things were not all right and Elinor was exhausted from worrying about it all. She wanted to share the burden a bit. She wasnāt quite sure what would happen to them nextāshe was already worried about their finances, and she wasnāt sure how they would pay for prolonged care for Marianneābut she was grateful to have Mother. Here, upright, dressed, and tidy, looking a bit more clear-eyed and like her old self. Sadder, a bit more haunted maybe. But when Elinor looked at her mother, she was reminded that although she and her sisters carried their fatherās name, they got their strength from their mother, too.
āNow tell me everything that happened last night when you went after Margaret,ā Mother said, setting eggs and toast in front of Elinor. āMargaret has told me her side of things, but that girl does love to embellish, and I want a sensible account of events.ā
Elinor laughed a little at that and began her explanation once more, filling in the gaps from her account last night and Margaretās dramatic telling. Of all the things that Elinor had to tell her, Mother was most amazed at the smoke bomb.
āAnd you made that?ā she asked. āYou made it, in the kitchen here?ā
āWell, no,ā Elinor said. āI made it in my laboratory, back . . .ā She had been about to say home. āBefore.ā
āI knew you liked to experiment,ā Mother said, ābut I always thought it was perfumes and less . . . volatile substances.ā
āI have been experimenting with perfume,ā she said. āBut Marianne says Iām miserable at it. The last concoction I gave her actually made her retch. I think she was putting me on, though.ā
āBut do you want to be mixing perfumes?ā Mother asked. āOr do you want to be mixing substances like Miss Williams, or making explosives for Margaret?ā
āIām hardly making explosives for Margaret,ā Elinor protested. āAnd perfumes could be a viable side business for us, actuallyāā
āElinor,ā Mother said sternly.
Elinor opened her mouth, but for some reason it was too difficult for her to simply say what was in her heart. It was impossible. Or nearly impossible. She was needed here, at home. She ought to spend her time on activities that could help her family. And yet . . .
āI think, perhaps, one day . . . if itās possible, that is . . . Iād like to study chemistry.ā
She said the words while looking down at her plate. Mother reached out and touched her chin, so Elinor had to look at her. āAll right then,ā Mother said. āI donāt know how, or when, but letās see what we can do about making that happen, hm?ā
Elinor didnāt think that her mother would have ever been so accepting of her unconventional dream, and happiness bloomed inside her. But it was nothing compared with the joy she felt when they heard Margaret thunder down the stairs a moment later, calling out, āMother! Elinor! Marianneās awake!ā
They abandoned their breakfasts in an instant and ran upstairs, jostling past one another to get at Marianneās bedside first. Marianne appeared weak and woozy, but she smiled when Elinor and Mother came into the room. āHow do you feel?ā Elinor and Mother asked at once.
Marianneās face tightened in pain, but she whispered, āAlive. And feeling it.ā
Elinor laughed and squeezed her sisterās hand while Mother felt her forehead. āYou donāt seem feverish, which is a good sign. Howās your pain?ā
āOh . . .ā Marianne sighed. āIt only feels like someone stuck a hot poker in my side.ā
āThatās not far off,ā Elinor told her. āThe bullet cut right through there.ā
āMarvelous,ā Marianne breathed.
āWe thought you were going to die,ā Margaret added.
āNot today,ā Marianne said, wincing as she attempted to sit up. āI donāt think.ā
āDonāt try to move,ā Elinor ordered. āWeāll have to change the bandages and you should save your strength for that.ā
āTake some of this,ā Mother said, already uncapping the laudanum bottle.
Marianne opened her eyes, and when she saw what was in Motherās hand, she looked horrified. āNo! I wonāt.ā
āThereās no glory in pain,ā Mother admonished, but Marianne was shaking her head.
āThat concoction is what made Willoughby so . . . horrid in the end.ā
āItās medicine,ā Mother insisted. āElinor, tell her itās safe.ā
Elinor pursed her lips, because she wasnāt sure what to say. After hearing about Sir Johnās son, and seeing how despondent it made Mother, she was rethinking just how innocuous laudanum was. Was Willoughby similarly dependent? Had all of the people in attendance at Greyās last night also felt a craving for laudanum that couldnāt be denied? If it was so dangerous, why was it sold in every chemist, grocer, and tobacco shop?
If something as dangerous as the poison that had killed Father had been derived from the same substance, surely laudanum ought to be treated with care, if not distrust.
āI donāt know,ā Elinor admitted. āAnd we canāt make her take it if she doesnāt want it, Mother. But Marianne, when we clean the wound again, itās going to hurt a lot. You might want a little bit. Last night when Brandon dressed the wound, I thought you were in agony.ā
āBrandon!ā Marianne looked more alert than she had all morning. āHe didnāt. But . . . was I even decent?ā
Elinor laughed. āTrust you to almost die on us and worry about whether or not Brandon saw anything of you he shouldnāt.ā
āOh God,ā Marianne moaned. āI can never look him in the eye ever again.ā
āGood luck with that, heāll be around today.ā
Marianneās dramatic moans turned into a small yelp of pain as her movements pulled at her wound.
āAll right, thatās enough,ā Mother said, clapping her hands together once. āMargaret, Elinor, let your sister rest. Marianne, I wonāt make you take any laudanum . . . right now. But youāll take a tiny bit if youāre in serious pain, do you understand me?ā
Marianne grimaced, but she nodded. āI think Iāll sleep now, Mother.ā
Elinor lingered, wanting to sit by her sister. But Mother shooed her out of the room. āYou sat up with her all night long. Let me.ā
In the hall, Margaret looked up at Elinor and said, āWould you have said that the flames last night were my height? Or closer to Marianneās height?ā
āWhy?ā Elinor asked.
āWell, it would be much more dramatic if I could say that they were approximately Marianneās height, as Lady Cecelia is modeled after her.ā
āOh, is she?ā Elinor asked.
āIāll just say they were nearly as tall as Lady Cecelia,ā Margaret decided. āItās dramatic without outright lying.ā
And with that, she ran downstairs.
Elinor shoo...