Jesus, Psychology, and Mental Health

An Integration

George Hinn

• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Year: 2023
• Print ISBN: 9781662433955
• eBook ISBN: 9781662433962
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

"It is manifestly evident that religion is not always led to mental health." I remember reading this statement from the book, The Psychology of Christian Personality by Ernest Ligon in the early 1960s. I was struck by it, because as a child growing up, I was told just the opposite.Subsequent empirical evidence has shown that Ligon was correct, but why? Religion is supposed to change people. Where was the disconnect? Does religion change people, or maybe do people change religion?In various ways, this statement has been a source of direction and study for me over my forty plus years in teaching and counseling. This book explores these questions and possible answers in light of mental health and the integration of Psychology and Religion.

Chapter 16

Harmonious Relationships:
Living Peacefully with Myself and Others

This chapter sums up all the previous chapters. Chapters 1 to 14 are necessary to build a healthy personality and healthy personality is necessary for healthy relationships. One way to assess our mental health is determined by the health of the relationships we are involved in.

We are social animals. We were created to be in relationships. (Genesis 2:18 states, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a companion who will help him.”) We have seen the results of people living in isolation without meaningful contact with others. They don’t live normal or healthy lives. We need to be in community with others, or the consequences are significant. (Hebrews 13:1–3, “Continue to love each another with true Christian love. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers.”)

The development of a healthy personality as discussed in previous chapters is necessary for successful relationships later in life. As with love, healthy relationships start with us. We need to be okay with ourselves first before we are okay with others. If relationships with others aren’t satisfactory, we might want to step back for a moment and take a look at ourselves.

Martin Buber discusses the qualities of the healthy relationship in his book, I and Thou. We discussed his work in chapter 14, but it’s worth a further look. Buber believes healthy relationships occur when people relate to one another in the I-thou context. In the I-it relationship, people manipulate one another. Manipulation doesn’t lead to harmonious relationships. The I-thou relationship is the way we relate to God. This type of relationship produces trust and growth.

Josh McDowell states that when truth isn’t accompanied by a relationship, there is a possibility of rejection and disappointment. Without a relationship, it may not be important what else happens.

Young Life understood this principle when they stressed the importance of the relationship in working with high schoolers. If you’re not familiar with Young Life, it is a ministry that works with youth on the high school campus. In the early seventies, when I was involved with Young Life, most of my time was spent in building relationships with the high school kids. It was the quality of relationships that were established that were the difference makers. I still have contact with kids (no longer, some are retired) from those days. We share meals and laughter. (Luke 17:21 states, “The kingdom of God is among you.”) It’s all about the relationship.

Carl Rogers believed that the relationship is so important that he based his counseling theory on developing this helping relationship. If the relationship is intact and healthy, as described in chapter 13, healing will occur, nothing more needs to be said. The relationship does the talking.

Alfred Adler also stressed the nature of the relationship (chapter 7). Harmonious relationships are the outcome of maturity and social interest.

Harry Stack Sullivan also stressed social context in his theory of personality. Interactions with others is the key. Sullivan placed special emphasis of the mother-child interactions. Interpersonal events are more important than intrapersonal ones in the organization of personality.

Eric Fromm believes there is a basic need for relatedness. If healthy relationships aren’t established, the result would be a sick society. The health of the society is tied to the health of the relationships in the society.

There is a general agreement among these and other theorist on the importance of relationships for developing self-esteem for future success.

What are some characteristics of a harmonious relationship? I know of no one definitive list, but I can suggest some questions that may offer some guidance in this area.

One, are we trying to just get by, or are we trying to improve our relationship? Are we just trying to survive, or are we trying to grow?

Second, how well do we resolve differences? Are we left with hurt feelings and frustration after a disagreement, or are we able to walk away with a sense of closure? Were we able to compromise?

Third, closely related to number two, how do serious issues effect our ability to work together? Do we let past issues effect current working conditions?

Fourth, how do we deal with our emotions both individually and collectively, and do these emotions help or hurt our decision-making? Do our emotions get in the way of solving problems, or help us getting to solutions?

Next, how well do we understand each other’s world? Do we share the same love language? I’ve used the love language material in both my counseling and classes.

What I remember is how helpful love language was in providing insight and understanding into the behavior of both the individual and the partner, which led the conversation away from blaming to productive problem solving. If you have different languages, the most common problem will be the feeling of rejection, that you’re not loved. The other person doesn’t seem to care, or they get frustrated with me. Blaming is common. The vital point to remember is no one is right or wrong. They just express love in a different way. Once this is pointed out, healthy adjustments can be made.

Looking at some specifics, we can show love by using one or more of the love languages. I will...

Table of contents

• Early Attachment: Creating a Safe Place
• Parenting: Building Self-Esteem
• Unconditional Love: Nurturing the Soul
• Growth and Change: Doing the Work
• Higher Levels of Moral Development: Seeing the Difference
• Locus of Control: I Don’t Blame Others
• Sense of Purpose: I Know Why I’m Here (Meaning)
• Dualistic Thinking: To Thinking Outside the Box
• Realistic View of Life: A Measure of Mental Health
• Balance: Finding the Middle Ground
• Changing the Changeable: Making Good Use of My Energy
• Feelings: I Feel Alive
• Effective Communicator: Others Feel Heard
• Living in the Present: One Day at a Time
• The Healthy Personality: Integrated and Whole
• Harmonious Relationships: Living Peacefully with Myself and Others