Death and Consolation
The last time that I stood here to speak was at the memorial service for my wife Alice. I spoke not about Alice as a person, or about my long marriage with her, but about the faith issues that her death forced me to confront.
I turned to Scripture, first to Psalm 90. This psalm is a source of the hymn “O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come.” The hymn is a strong affirmation of our security under God’s loving care, but the psalm has a darker tone. It is one of the psalms in which the speaker complains to God. God is eternal, but humans are not. God has placed a limit on humans. “You turn us back to dust,” the psalmist says; you “sweep” us away. We are like grass that withers in the evening. Here we face the iron law of death, which is part of God’s good creation, but it doesn’t seem good when it strikes home—when we lose a loved one. Even the promise of eternal life doesn’t erase the pain of losing a life companion, leaving me to live alone. It was this issue that I was wrestling with—emotionally and intellectually—when I last stood here to speak.
What has happened since? I have been experiencing healing and discovering new dimensions to life. Participation in several communities and development of new relationships have helped the healing. One of those communities has been this church. Your role has been important.
Soon after Alice’s diagnosis with brain cancer, I wrote a protest poem. It was one of those “why” protests, like Jesus’ cry from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Here is part of it:
The pain of my loss remains. More recently, however, I wrote a second poem. The title is “The Year His Life Changed.” It has three stanzas that describe three phases of my year. The time when I had to learn to live alone is the second or “grey” phase. I could take care of myself, and I remained active. But, as the poem says, “A grey pallor of loneliness clung to him as he plodded down the daily path.” I call it a grey phase in my life because vivid color and vital spark were often missing, so joy was often missing. But the poem ends with a bird of dazzling yellow, because my life has changed.
Life has changed because of new relationships. I have a new marriage partner and through her a second family. My interest in life has also been revived and enriched through continuing involvement in significant communities, including this church. The church has been a community of healing for me. This is especially true because I have participated in small groups with people who witness to God’s love with their lives. For me these groups have been the choir, the adult Sunday class, a small men’s group, and some of the social ministries of the church, especially Family Promise, our local shelter for homeless families.
Paul’s words in 2 Cor 1:3–5 help me to put my experience into a larger faith context. In these few verses the apostle Paul keeps repeating the words “consolation” and “console.” Note especially this string: “The God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction in order that we might be able to console those in any affliction through the consolation by which we ourselves are being consoled by God.”
Two comments on this passage: First, the Greek words translated “consolation” and “console” can carry that meaning, a meaning that fits the context, for Paul is contrasting afflictions and suffering with God’s supportive response. However, I think the Greek has a stronger and broader sense. In other places these Greek words refer to encouragement. So we could translate, “the God of all encouragement, who encourages us in all our affliction,” and so on through the passage. That would help us recognize that it isn’t just a matter of making us feel better; it includes strengthening or reviving us as active members of the body of Christ, in spite of our troubles.
Second, Paul is talking about a flow of encouragement and consolation that begins with God, then flows out to Paul and Timothy and through them to the Corinthians. The complicated sentence begins and ends with references to God and notes intermediate steps that connect Paul to the community. “The God of all encouragement, who encourages us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.” God is the source of consoling encouragement. This encouragement flows to Paul and Timothy, not for their sakes alone but to enable them to share it with the church. Paul develops this theme in the following verses. He states that he shares in the sufferings of Christ. The Corinthians share in the same sufferings. As they do, they also share in the encouragement and consolation that flows from God through Paul and his fellow workers to the church. Sharing in the suffering and sharing in God’s consoling encouragement go together.
Becoming a disciple of Jesus does not protect us from suffering. Paul knew ...