Can We Talk?

Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work

Roberta Chinsky Matuson

• Publisher: Kogan Page
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9781398601307
• eBook ISBN: 9781398601314
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Business Communication

WINNER: Independent Press Award 2022 - Career

Are you avoiding an uncomfortable conversation at work? If you're an executive or a team leader, strengthening your organization's ability to have difficult conversations is necessary and worth the discomfort.

The key to successful dialogue starts and ends with changing the conversation. Recognizing that it takes two people to engage in meaningful outcomes, Can We Talk? outlines what each contributor needs to do to achieve the best possible result. Using examples from everyday work situations, this book offers guidance on how to create the right conditions for a meaningful discussion. The author identifies the seven key principles that enable both parties to gain a deeper understanding of what the other person may be thinking and will help establish their point of view more clearly: confidence, clarity, compassion, curiosity, compromise, credibility, courage.

Can We Talk? includes examples and advice from those who have been there and thrived, as well as lessons learned from conversation failures and example scripts of productive conversations. Readers will learn how to prepare, start and manage the potentially challenging exchange of words that typically occur at work, and come away with an understanding that for any conversation to take place, both parties must be engaged.

Index

360-degree assessment 109–10, 156, 157, 161

accidents 6–7

accountability avoiders 60–61

accusatory language 137–38

acknowledging awkwardness 194–95

active listening 16, 38, 72–73

‘actually’ 74–75

adhering to response times 164

advancing the conversation 195–96

advocating for yourself 182–85

affirmations 29–30

agreeing to take a break 138

Amazon 68

amiable social style 54–56

Amor-Bautista, Aileen L. 182–83

analytical social style 54–56

Androski, Matt 81–82

apologies 46, 80, 135, 170–71

credibility and 150–51

sincere 206–07

appreciation

showing to remote employees 164–65

stating for willingness to have the conversation 138

asking for help 28

asking what is needed of you 137

assumptions

constructively deconstructing 206

listening without 71–73

attitudinal change 69–70

audience, knowing your 75

avoidance

by your boss 11–12, 12–13

of difficult conversations 7–8

awkwardness, acknowledging 194–95

bank of trust 39–42, 73, 132

behavior modeling 199

being present 93–96

belief

in others more than yourself 34–35

self-belief 34–35, 147

bench strength 30–31

Bergamo, Sue 96–99

Beth 200–02

biases 84–85

blockers 202–04

body language 88–91, 111–12

Bravely 8

Bryant, Ronald 47–48, 49

‘but’ 137

calmness 16

during disagreements 65–68

cameras on, in virtual meetings 64, 163

CCP Human Capital 8

CEOs 156

leaving a CEO role 189–91

change 203

attitudinal 69–70

hoping the other party will change 140

persons not open to 181–82

changing perception 160–62

children, learning from 103–06

choosing battles wisely 180–82, 192–94

clarity 4, 42, 45–77, 191, 202

assessing readiness to proceed 62

communicating clearly 68–71

establishing the right objective 48–52

four factors to consider 53–...

Table of contents

• Praise for Can We Talk?
• Can We Talk?
• Contents
• List of Tables
• About the author
• Acknowledgments
• NT Introduction
• 01 Confidence
• 02 Clarity
• 03 Compassion
• 04 Curiosity
• 05 Compromise
• 06 Credibility
• 07 Courage
• 08 Bringing It All Together
• Index