Rita, Sue and Bob Too

Andrea Dunbar

• Publisher: Methuen Drama
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9781350184961
• eBook ISBN: 9781350184985
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Drama
• Index: Literature

"A bleak and brilliant testament to a life of fleeting pleasure and diminished expectations … a play of sharp observation, a document of its times." The Guardian Best friends Rita and Sue get a lift home from married Bob after babysitting his kids. When he takes the scenic route and offers them a bit of fun, the three start a fling each of them think they control. Andrea Dunbar's semi-autobiographical play, written for the Royal Court Theatre in 1982 when she was just 19, is a vivid portrait of girls caught between brutal childhood and an unpromising future, both hungry for adult adventure. Told with wicked humour, startling insight and a great ear for dialogue, Rita Sue and Bob Too offers an unwavering portrait of a world of limitations and urban desolation. Published for the first time in Methuen Drama's Modern Classics series, featuring a new introduction by Katie Beswick.

Scene One

The two girls had just finished baby-sitting and were on their way up. Bob, who they baby-sit for, was giving them a lift home in his car.

Bob Did the wife give you your baby-sitting money?

Sue/Rita (together) Yes. Why?

Bob Oh it’s just that sometimes she forgets and I usually give them it.

Sue Well she didn’t seem to forget this time.

Bob Anyway here’s two quid, get yourselves some cigs. (Passing it over.)

Rita (hesitates) Are you sure? I mean your wife gave us a quid each.

Bob Course I’m sure. Here, take it.

Sue/Rita (taking it) Thanks a lot.

Bob It’s a pleasure. (Pause.) Are you courting yet?

Sue Are we what?

Bob Courting, have you got boyfriends?

Sue No.

Rita I haven’t either.

Bob I just thought two young lasses like you would be courting by now.

Sue Well you know what thought did.

Bob Who wants dropping off first?

Rita I do. If I’m late my mother’ll have my brothers out looking for me.

Bob What a shame. I could have given you a ride round for half an hour.

Rita OK I’ll stop out an extra half an hour. Drive past our house though, because I’ll be OK if she’s gone to bed.

Bob (to Sue) Will your Mum say aught?

Sue No. She never says anything.

Bob What about your dad?

Sue He’ll be in bed by now.

Bob I know your dad.

Sue How do you?

Bob Oh he’s done a lot of jobs for me. We used to go to the same pub as each other.

Sue He’s a bit of a cunt don’t you think?

Bob I find him OK. Well what I’ve seen of him. I’ve not seen him in a couple of months now.

Sue Well I can assure you, you’re not missing anything.

Bob Where do you wanna go?

Sue I’m not bothered.

Bob (to Rita) Is there anywhere you want to go?

Rita Well where can we go at this time?

Bob Not too many places.

Sue Just go anywhere then.

Bob Have you been round the moors?

Sue/Rita No.

Bob We can go round there if you want.

Sue Well go round there then, we’re not fussy. (To Rita.) Are we?

Rita No.

Bob OK then the moors it is.

They all ride towards the moors in silence but as they get there Bob says –

Are you both a virgin?

Rita You what? (Looking at Sue and laughing.)

Bob Are you both a virgin?

Sue What do you want to know for?

Bob Just curious, that’s all. Well are you?

Rita You’re nosy aren’t you?

Bob Nosy no. Curious yes. I often wonder what young lasses get up to nowadays.

Sue Well that’s not much. ’Cause there’s never nowt to do around here.

Bob You haven’t answered my question. Are you or not?

Rita Yes, we both are.

Bob Oh.

Sue There, she’s answered your question, is there owt else you want to know while we’re on the subject?

Bob Yes. (Pulling car up on a dirt track.) Can either of you put a Durex on?

Sue What’s a Durex?

Rita (to Sue) I think he means a rubber-johnny. (Laughing.)

Bob That’s right.

Sue Well what you calling rubber-johnnys Durex for?

Bob Because Durex is the proper name for them.

Sue Oh well I didn’t know. (Sue starts laughing with Rita.) I’ve never had any use for them.

Rita Nor me. Lads round our place buy them for a laugh and blow them up for balloons.

Sue Lads I know shove them through letter boxes to fellas that live by themselves, with a note saying ‘Have you got any use for this?’

Bob Can you put them on? If I gave you one could you put one on?

Sue I wouldn’t know what to do with one.

Rita And I wouldn’t know how to put one on.

Bob Would you like to try?

Sue Not me.

Rita I don’t want to either.

Sue You can just tell us. You don’t have to show us.

Bob OK then I’ll tell you. I just thought you might like to try for yourselves.

Rita No I don’t think we should try.

Bob OK it’s up to you. First you have to have an erection.

Rita A what ‘-tion’?

Bob An erection.

Rita (to Sue) What’s that?

Sue I don’t know.

Bob An erection is a hard-on. Do you know what a hard-on is?

Rita Yes.

Bob Well the proper term is called erection.

Sue Well instead of using the proper names, use hard-on and things like that. Because that’s all we understand.

Rita Yes you should. We’ve never been taught words like erection and Durex.

Bob OK. First you need a hard-on, then you take the rubber-johnny, as you call it, out of the packet.

Sue Well you didn’t think we thought you could put the packet on do you?

Sue and Rita laugh. Bob reaches into his pocket and gets a little packet out and opens it. It’s a Durex.

Bob (showing Sue and Rita) This is what it looks like.

Rita What’s it rolled up like that for?

Bob I’ll tell you in a minute. The next thi...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Introduction
• Dedication
• Characters
• Scene One
• Copyright Page