Letting Go

A Girl's Guide to Breaking Free of Stress and Anxiety

Christine Fonseca

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2021
• eBook ISBN:
  9781000494174
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

Do you ever feel like you'll never be perfect? Do you worry that what you say or do or wear will be how people remember you? It's time to let go of those worries and embrace who you are. Letting Go: A Girl's Guide to Breaking Free of Stress and Anxiety has everything you need to help you understand and manage the very real pressures you're facing from life. Designed to provide strategies for managing stress and anxiety, this book is filled with practical evidence-based advice and stories from teen and young adult women like you who have found ways to manage their anxieties. Every chapter features a discussion of different types of stress and anxiety so you can understand better what you're experiencing, activities to help you remember all the things you love about yourself and to help you understand yourself better, strategies for combating both stress and anxiety, and stories of other girls who've learned to move past their stress and love their lives—and themselves—to the fullest.

Ages 12-16

Part I
LIVING IN A STRESS-FILLED WORLD

DOI: 10.4324/9781003236184-2

Girl drama, massive expectations from parents and teachers, the pressure to fit in, worries about the future—sometimes it’s all too much. There is plenty to feel stressed and anxious about in today’s world. Sometimes you just need to let go of your worries and tap into your inner strength.

Over the next three chapters, you will learn what stress actually is and how it impacts your physical and emotional selves. You will also learn a variety of strategies for managing stress and reframing your thoughts about your emotions.

Before we get too far into this conversation, let’s take a minute to evaluate your current levels of stress with Activity 1: My Thoughts About Stress.

ACTIVITY 1
MY THOUGHTS ABOUT STRESS

Directions: Take a moment to read and answer each question. Revisit these questions whenever you want to reassess your thoughts or feelings about stress.

• 1. What does it mean to be stressed out?
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• 2. Do you consider yourself to be under a lot of stress most days? What things specifically contribute to your stress?
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• 3. Do you think stress is a problem for you? Why? Take a moment to describe how your stress feels.
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• 4. If I had less stress in my life, I would … (complete the sentence)
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• 5. What is the worst thing about your stress? What is one thing that would make your stress less of a problem?
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It’s important that you complete this task before I share my definition of stress. For this exercise, I want you to get very clear on your current beliefs about what stress is, the impact it has in your life, and your current methods of coping when the pressure gets too overwhelming.

After you’ve completed the brief questionnaire, take a moment to complete Activity 2: Goals for Part I.

ACTIVITY 2
GOALS FOR PART I

Directions: Take a moment to think about why you picked up this book. Set a few goals related to your understanding of stress and the role it has in your life. What do you hope to accomplish as you work through Part I of Letting Go?

Goal	Potential Barriers	Action Plan	Benefits to Completing Goal
Example: I want to complete each exercise in the hook in order to deepen my understanding of stress and stress management.	I might not have time. The exercises may confuse me. I might feel stressed as I work through things.	I can commit to one or two pages a week. I can reach out to my parents or a school counselor for help. I can use the advice to learn to manage my stress.	I will learn how to better manage my stress.

Remember to revisit both the questionnaire and the goals worksheet as you move through the rest of the book.

Chapter 1
STRESS AND ANXIETY:

Understanding the Basics

DOI: 10.4324/9781003236184-3

I woke early, the sun not yet over the horizon. The world looked gray, sleepy, calm. I, on the other hand, was not. In 4 short hours, I would be standing in front of a panel of judges, competing for a spot in the coveted Rose Court. I’d dreamed of being part of the Rose Court in the Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade since I was a little girl. I’d prepared for this moment for more than 6 years, practicing interviews, learning what the committee would want me to say and do. I knew exactly what to expect. And yet, I was stressed.

Like most of the other girls there, I had lived through months of sleepless nights preparing for this moment. I rehearsed every minute of my interview and memorized the way the past members of the Rose Court had acted, the things they had said. There was nothing I hadn’t prepared for, no scenario I didn’t anticipate. Yet, on the day of competition, I was a mess. My body refused to cooperate with my mind. I felt nauseous to the point of vomiting. My hands and voice shook as I prepared to speak. My mind went blank.

Most of us have felt similar sensations in our lives, either during presentations or competitions, driving to and from school, or handling an emotional situation at home. We’ve come to call the collections of symptoms stress, or maybe even anxiety. If the feelings are really extreme, we may even refer to them as panic.

Regardless of which word we use, a plethora of negative associations usually accompany these emotions, increasing the stress/anxiety/panic sensations that we experience.

But does it have to be that way?

In this chapter, we will explore the nature of stress and why our bodies and minds react as they do. Specific activities will help you discover your thinking around stress and the role it currently has in your life.

What Is Stress, Really?

Stress—it’s an all-too-familiar part of daily life. From a nagging sense of worry to a powerful or overwhelming sensation, stress is a common feeling in our everyday lives. But, what is stress, really?

Definitions of stress vary widely. Some people use the word to refer to the feeling of dread or concern that hits before a test or significant event. Others use the word to indicate anxious feelings or behaviors.

Researchers typically use the term stress to refer to a significant emotional experience that involves a mental, physical, and/or behavioral response (American Psychological Association, n.d.). I also like a definition I found on a coaching website, Time Thoughts: “A physical, mental, or emotional response to events that causes bodily or mental tension.” (Stress Management, n.d.). In other words, stress is any reaction that causes tension in the body or mind, positive or negative.

Stress is the body’s alarm system, alerting us to our need to act. That is why it causes tension. It is neither positive nor negative. It is simply a mechanism our body uses to compel us to respond in some way to a given situation. How we interpret that response, as well as how we interpret stress i...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• Dedication
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Part I: Living In a Stress-Filled World
• Part II: Managing Anxiety
• Part III: From Surviving to Thriving
• Final Thoughts
• Recommended Resources
• References
• About the Author