Are you thriving at your church? After years of discipling and counseling sisters in the church, I’ve seen a number of women struggle to find their place and spiritually thrive. My friend Joan happily attended women’s Bible study but was too busy on the weekends to attend church.1Ashley found it hard to meet new people and felt like an outsider in our congregation. Natasha was hurt because she didn’t think her gifts and talents were being adequately used and wondered how she could participate in church ministry.
Do you find yourself in any of those situations? Are you struggling to thrive in your church?
As women, we have unique ways that we get to display God’s glory. Being a woman is a gift, a stewardship from God. We are essential and indispensable to God’s kingdom. But being a woman also comes with unique challenges. With busy lives, pulled this-way-and-that by responsibilities at school or work or home, how can we flourish spiritually?
If you resonate with the previous paragraphs, this booklet is for you. My goal is to encourage you to enjoy the fullness of God’s grace available for you in the gospel and experience this joy in meaningful, life-giving relationships with the people of God in a local church. I want you to thrive. In fact, as I’ll explain below, you can’t separate those two things. We simply can’t thrive spiritually apart from the church.
I’m sure your church isn’t perfect—it’s made up of sinners saved only by grace—but it is a beautiful display of God’s glory. Just think about your brothers and sisters in the church. Consider that brother God saved from a futile life of career idolatry. Consider that sister he saved from chasing after elusive love in worldly relationships. In story after story like these, the lesson is plain: “Through the church the manifold wisdom of God [is] made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places” (Eph. 3:10). In saving people from a diversity of backgrounds by the gospel of his Son, God showcases his wisdom not only for the world to see but for all the heavenly hosts to marvel at. The church is God’s vehicle for his glory, and it’s our destination if we want to spiritually thrive.
Sisters, here are eight essentials for thriving in the church.
1. You Must Be Alive in Christ
Julia grew up in the church. Like other kids with godly Christian parents, she faithfully attended church, was part of the youth group, and even attended church camp every summer. When she went to college, she found a church that reminded her of home, but her attendance quickly became sporadic. As an honors student with a full load of classes, she began to spend her weekends blowing off steam at parties. Church just wasn’t as exciting as all the new experiences college offered—and besides, after a few days of partying, she needed Sunday mornings to catch up on sleep.
A Christian friend noticed the contrast between Julia’s claim to be a Christian and the way she lived her life. This friend invited her to a church that taught the Bible and clearly proclaimed the gospel. At first, Julia was bored with the sermons, but then the Word of God started to convict her and shape the way she thought about her life. Over time, she realized that while she labeled herself a Christian, she didn’t really know the God of the Bible. After conversations with her friends and the pastor, she repented and put her trust in Jesus.
From that moment, church life changed for Julia. It was no longer a social club where she could meet friends and be entertained. It was a necessity. She needed the preaching of God’s word like she needed food. She longed for fellowship like she thirsted for water. Julia was baptized, became a member, and even moved into a house with other single women from the church. Her life began to revolve around the church—she began to thrive.
Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches” (John 15:5). He told his disciples, “If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned” (v. 6). Jesus is the vine from which the church grows. We receive our sustenance from him. If you’re not attached to the vine, you’re not receiving spiritual nourishment. In other words, you’re not alive. Eventually you’ll wither up and be destroyed. But if you’re attached to the vine, you’ll flourish along with the other branches. Jesus promises, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (v. 5).
Jesus died so that we could live in him. God created men and women to glorify him and enjoy him forever. But beginning with Adam and Eve, all throughout human history mankind has rejected God, breaking relationship with him and ruining themselves. Although we were created for God’s glory, we “all have sinned and fall short” of that glory (Rom. 3:23). The Bible tells us that “the wages of sin is death” (Rom. 6:23), but God sent his beloved Son to pay the wages for us. Jesus went to the cross and died for the sins of anyone who would repent and believe. And God raised him from the dead in triumph over sin and death. Jesus Christ “gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession” (Titus 2:14). Those ...
