Men and Women in the Church

A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction

Kevin DeYoung

• Publisher: Crossway
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN:
  9781433566530
• eBook ISBN:
  9781433566561
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

"This is the first book I will recommend to those who want to study what the Scriptures teach about the roles of men and women both in marriage and the church. . . I was amazed at how much wisdom is packed into this short book. Everything in the book is helpful, but the practical application section alone is worth the price of the book."
— Thomas R. Schreiner, James Buchanan Harrison Professor of New Testament Interpretation, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

A Biblical Primer on Men and Women in the Church

There is much at stake in God making humanity male and female. Created for one another yet distinct from each other, a man and a woman are not interchangeable—they are designed to function according to a divine fittedness. But when this design is misunderstood, ignored, or abused, there are dire consequences.

Men and women—in marriage especially, but in the rest of life as well—complement one another. And this biblical truth has enduring, cosmic significance. From start to finish, the biblical storyline—and the design of creation itself—depends upon the distinction between male and female.  Men and Women in the Church is about the divinely designed complementarity of men and women as it applies to life in general and especially ministry in the church.

Part 1

Biblical Exploration

1

A Very Good Place to Start

Genesis 1–3

I’ve heard it said that “all good theology starts in Genesis.” That’s not far off the mark. In Genesis, we see how God started things. We have the beginning of the story. In the first two chapters of Genesis, God gives us a stunning picture of paradise, a portrait of the good life—the way things were, the way they are supposed to be, and the way they will be again.

In Eden, all was very good. The natural world was good, with its striking beauty and peaceful cooperation. The creation of man—from the dust of the earth to the crown of creation—was good. Work was good. No broken tractors, no computer viruses, no coronaviruses, no thorns and thistles, no anxious deadlines, no cranky bosses, no incompetent employees, no power plays; just an honest day’s work under the smiling face of God. And the garden, as a kind of temple in which God’s presence dwelt, was good.

But even before the fall, even in this paradise, there was one thing which, if left undone, would not have been good: leaving man alone. That’s what Genesis 2 tell us as it zooms in on Genesis 1:27 on the sixth day before the pronouncement of Genesis 1:31 at the close of the day.

We do not know that Adam was lonely or that he felt isolated. The text never suggests a psychologized problem. As we will see, the problem with Adam’s aloneness was something else. But it was a problem. There is no record of the man complaining to God that he was alone. Instead, God himself declared that Adam’s situation was not good (Gen. 2:18). Every other aspect of creation had its counterpart. The day had its sun, the night its moon, the waters its fish, the sky its birds, and the ground its animals, but the man did not have his helpmate. “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man” (Gen. 2:21–22). This was very good.

Male and Female from the Beginning

The Bible gives us only two chapters on the creation of the world before the fall. If we’re honest, most of us would like more information. Where exactly was the garden of Eden? What did it look like? What did it smell like? Were the days normal twenty-four-hour days? How old did Adam appear to be? How old did the trees appear to be? Were there mosquitoes? But of all the things we might want to know more clearly, it’s worth noting what God does tell us about in some detail. He tells us quite a bit about the man and the woman—how they are the same, how they are different, and how they were made for each other.

If we are to think rightly and feel rightly and embrace rightly what it means to be male and female, we need to appreciate that God doesn’t give arbitrary rules for men and women to follow. Whatever “rules” there are for men and women in the church are never mere rules; they reflect the sort of differentiated and complementary image bearers God designed us to be from the beginning. Once we understand the first chapters of Genesis, and how God has embedded sexual differentiation and sexual union (in marriage) in the natural order of the created world, everything else we see in the Bible about being a man or being a woman makes more sense. All good theology starts in Genesis, but it never stops there.

The Start of It All

And how much do the opening chapters of Genesis really say about manhood and womanhood? I’ll limit myself to fifteen observations.

First, the man and the woman were both created in the image of God. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Men and women, as distinct from all else in creation, are image bearers. We are like statues or icons placed in creation to testify to the world that God has dominion over this place. As image bearers, not to mention coheirs of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7), men and women possess equal worth and dignity. Eve was not a lesser creature. She was not an inferior being. Although God has revealed himself in masculine language (e.g., father, king, husband), he is neither male nor female. To be faithful to God’s revelation, we should speak of God only in the masculine terms he has given us, but to call God “Father” is not the same as saying God is a man (though he became a man in the incarnation). Maleness, therefore, is not a higher order of being than femaleness. Both men and women were made to represent God in the world.

Second, man has both singularity and plurality.1 Humanity can be named singularly as adam (“man” not “woman”), but humanity is at the same time male and female. There is a “him” and a “them” (Gen. 1:27). The way the creation account spells out sexual difference is so obvious that we can miss its importance. God does not mention the difference of, say, height or hair color or temperament or gifting. The one identity marker emphasized at the beginning is maleness and femaleness.

Third, the man and the woman were given joint rule over creation. Together they were to fill the earth and subdue it. God blessed them, and God told them to have dominion over every living thing (Gen. 1:28).

Fourth, within this joint rule, the man and woman were given different tasks and created in different realms. “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). Adam was created outside of the garden and charged with cultivating it and protecting it, a protection under which the woman was meant to flourish. Eve was created within the garden, suggesting “a special relationship to the inner world of the Garden.”2 The creation mandate—filling the earth and subduing it—applies to both sexes, but asymmetrically. The man, endowed with greater biological strength, is fitted especially for tilling the soil and taming the garden, while the woman, possessing within her the capacity to cultivate new life, is fitted especially for filling the earth and tending to the communal aspects of the garden.

Fifth, man was given the priest-like task of maintaining the holiness of the garden. To the man alone God gave the command: “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not” (Gen. 2:16–17). In working and keeping the garden (2:15), the man was responsible for establishing God’s command on the earth and guarding God’s moral boundaries. His obedience to this task would mean blessing, while his disobedience would mean death.

Sixth, man was created before the woman. Famously, Paul grounded his prohibition against women teaching in the church based on this order. “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve” (1 Tim. 2:12–13). The point is not “first equals best,” as if God was picking sides for his kickball team. After all, God made blue jays and beavers and salamanders before he made man. The order matters because it indicates Adam’s position in the creation narrative as priest and protector and Eve’s position as coming under the man’s protection, made from his side and for his support.

Seventh, the woman was given as a helper to the man. Eve was created from man (Gen. 2:22)—equal in worth—and she was also created for man (2:20)—different in function. The male leadership, which the text hints at in Genesis 1:27 by calling male and female “man,” is spoken plainly in chapter 2 when Eve is given to Adam as his “helper” (2:18, 20). Being a helper carries no connotations of diminished worth or status; for God is sometimes called the helper of Israel (Ex. 18:4; Pss. 33:20; 146:5). Ezer (helper) is a functional term, not a demeaning one. Just as God at times comes alongside to help his people, so the role of the woman in relationship to her husband is that of a helper. “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Cor. 11:8).

We tend to psychologize Adam’s aloneness and interpret “helper” along the lines of comfort and companionship. This is one poss...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Newsletter Signup
• Endorsements
• Other Crossway Books
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Part 1 Biblical Exploration
• 1 A Very Good Place to Start
• 2 Patterns That Preach
• 3 Revolution and Repetition
• 4 Of Heads and Hair
• 5 A Marriage Made in Heaven
• 6 The Heart of the Matter
• 7 Leaders, Servants, and Life Together
• Part 2 Questions and Applications
• 8 Common Objections
• 9 Growing Up as Boys and Girls
• 10 Following Christ as Men and Women
• Appendix
• Notes
• General Index
• Scripture Index