Finding Hope in Times of Uncertainty

A Guide to Thriving in the Challenging World of Today

Joe Bakhmoutski

• Publisher: Power To Be Happy
• Year: 2020
• Edition: 1
• eBook ISBN:
  9780648599531
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Part 1
THE FIRST CIRCLE OF HOPE:
FINDING HOPE

Chapter 1
When Times Are Hard

There are moments in life when you get thrown so far off course that you don’t even question what is happening, or why, but go along with the situation because you still can’t believe it’s real. You know you’re in trouble when nothing makes sense, and despite that awful sinking feeling, you still hold out hope that it’s all one giant mistake, some kind of cosmic misunderstanding, and it will go away once the people involved realise they have got it all wrong.

But there was no getting away from it, my urologist explained. Scans in hand, he pointed out the exact path that my cancer had taken to get from the testicle into the lymph nodes. Metastatic was my new word of the day.

“This is not good news”, he said. “It’s in the lymph nodes in your abdominal, and we are going to have to start chemotherapy as soon as possible.” I kept nodding my head in response, even though it hadn’t got through to me yet.

That morning, I had walked in with the confident stride of a man who expects good news. A quick but necessary formality, nothing more. But why? On reflection, I couldn’t find a reason for my optimism. When you believe what you want to believe in, then you must be ready to live with the consequences.

But why was this happening, why me? I’d been a good person, trying to do what’s right. I didn’t deserve cancer, and how on earth would I stop it from taking over our lives? Why this, why now, when everything had fallen into place—I had finally found the woman I love, and our son was so young.

If the operation had not removed the cancer, then how I could be sure the chemo would work? And if the cancer took over, did that mean I was going to die? But I hadn’t accomplished my life’s goal... I could not even describe what it was that I have always wanted, I just knew I hadn’t done it yet!

Did any of it matter? My thoughts, feelings, gone, like they had never existed. Words turned into a drone, and faded out with the lashing rain as I was trying to process the urologist’s words after leaving his office. I had every right to be angry, at myself and the injustice of it all, but all I could feel inside was emptiness.

Later that day, I went to the ocean. There was a raging storm on the water. Massive waves, pounding against the rocks. One after another, they made their way to the shore. Closer and closer, they were searching for a way in. The rocks were strong, but they wouldn’t hold out forever. The waves would have their victory, grinding the solid rock into grain, but not today. In another lifetime, maybe, when we are gone.

I was overcome with the enormity of the world around me. This vast space, full of complex systems that have no interest or care for our rules, our circumstances, and the definition of time itself.

The enormity of life is humbling, and, in a way, it releases you from your troubles. It provides you with the freedom to accept the world as it is, and in turn, accept yourself as you are, an integral part of something greater.

This world of ours is not bound by expectations or habit, and neither are you. You are free to do as you like. If you accept things the way they are, then you must also accept that you are not responsible for things you cannot influence, or control.

As for my cancer coming back: If I can’t accept what I imagined to be true, then I must accept the thing that turned out to be real.

Exercise: Acceptance

Finding calm begins in the place that speaks to your true nature—the ocean, the mountains, the path near the railway tracks… Most of all, choose a place that speaks to you. A place nearby, where you can be on your own.

Being on your own takes getting used to, but it can set you free! Free to be yourself because you accept that you are only one part of this world. You don’t need to fall in line, or be a certain way. No expectations. No pressure.

This becomes a safe place where you can be alone with your thoughts. These thoughts might leak through the gaps and overtake you, but don’t be afraid to let them come. This is their domain, to exist, prod, and inspire, but they can’t push you around, or pit you against your values and beliefs.

Make it a regular getaway—once a week, or once a fortnight, whenever you need to recover, or find yourself again.

Why not make a plan to do it today or tomorrow?

When you accept things the way they are, you accept the world. You accept that it’s here, and so are you. Acceptance puts you on the path to hope.

Chapter 2
Safe From Fear

What was unusual about that night is that I was home alone. The house was quiet, and I was finishing the day with a long shower.

Funny the way you scrub yourself clean—there is a certain order in which you do things, which is always the same. But when my hand reached down below the waist, there was something foreign, something that did not belong. What was that?! I tried to find it again, and there it was—a big, hard lump on my testicle.

A cold shudder went right through me. It all made sense now—why for weeks, I could not get to sleep due to a dull, burning ache in my groin, and why my underwear felt like it had just shrunk three sizes…

The look of horror on my face must have resembled that of the ...

Table of contents

• Introduction: Why Hope Works Now
• Part 1 THE FIRST CIRCLE OF HOPE: FINDING HOPE
• Part 2 THE SECOND CIRCLE OF HOPE: BUILDING HOPE
• Part 3 THE THIRD CIRCLE OF HOPE: SHARING HOPE
• Conclusion
• Outro: Accepting Happiness
• Get in Touch
• Acknowledgements