The Black UU Survival Guide

How to Survive as a Black Unitarian Universalist and How Allies Can Keep It 100

Xolani Kacela, Kimber McLaughlin

• Publisher: X to the k Publishing
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9781087880594
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

The book provides a roadmap for Black people seeking membership and deep engagement in Unitarian Universalist communities. It offers details for Whites allies who want to support Black UUs. Topics include: understanding differences between Black and UU church culture, ways to improve Black's experience in UU churches, navigating race and racism in UU culture, and ways to deepen spirituality and personal growth when you're the only Black person in the room.

The Ten Steps

STEP 1 — Getting to Know the Basics

What is Unitarian Universalism?

I consider Unitarian Universalism as one of the Divine’s love and transformation agents in the world. That is XK’s definition. It comes from my heart and experience. You won’t find it in textbooks or a hymnal.

The short history of the faith is this: Unitarian Universalism united two uniquely American religious movements that developed out of and diverged from other forms of Protestantism. The Unitarians viewed God as a single being. Their theology contained no “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” They believed in the oneness of God. The church emphasized both God’s love and human free will. The Universalists believed in God’s unrelenting love to save all souls. They believed nothing a human being could do would turn off God’s love. They argued God would never banish a person to darkness based on sin or beliefs. The church emphasized the embrace of those who were otherwise marginalized in society. Among the flagship church’s charter members was a freed, formerly enslaved person, and the denomination was the first to ordain women.

These two churches became one in 1961 and named themselves Unitarian Universalism (UU). The UU Association (UUA) now has affiliated congregations around the world. Members (and fellow travelers) of those UU communities are known as UUs.

I classify UUism within Protestantism, which is to say that we have Protestant origins, sources, and in many churches, similar liturgy or order of service. There are many practicing and former Christians in UU churches. You’ll discover that UU Christians will vary in belief from person to person. Many UU churches have a Christian group and there is a UU Christian Fellowship that meets at General Assembly, the annual UU denominational meeting, and during the year at neutral sites.

But it is hard to ignore that UU beliefs are different from those of other faiths or denominations you have experienced. The reality is that while UUism has its origins in Christianity, and specifically American Protestantism, UUism draws people from any number of backgrounds, and many understandings of God—including those who do not hold a belief in a traditional notion of God, are skeptics, or are atheists. There are many UUs who consider themselves humanists or “spiritual, but not religious.” There are also UUs who consider themselves Christian or who align with other faiths while finding fellowship in UUism.

Respect for and openness to all people

UUism is a religious faith without religious doctrine or dogma. UU churches develop their missions according to seven shared UU principles. They create covenants for treating people with respect. UU churches and clergy very consciously lift up the wisdom of many different faith traditions and, also in the name of (small-u) universalism, have long strived to be inclusive. UUs were among the first churches to actively welcome LGBTQ+ parishioners, for instance, and to ordain gay and lesbian ministers.

The UU Principles attract many people. For some, they represent the first encounter with such ideas in religious materials. Marginalized people become overjoyed and experience comfort reading the first principle, “the inherent worth and dignity of every person.” They feel they’ve hit the spiritual jackpot. Equality is a driving force in the UU world.

Such inclusion extends to all people. UUs welcome all people, of every ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, age, class, and religious background, among other ways people self-identify or register with others. That’s a unique attribute UUs should brag about. You’ll discover UUs striving to live out their welcome with genuine hospitality and respect.

STEP 2 – Keeping an Open Mind

Survival begins by adjusting your expectations for UU congregational life. You will be leaving many expectations at the door. Ready?

Being new and Black

UU congregations are friendly, progressive, often politically active, open and welcoming, and predominantly white. If the demographics of a UU congregation yield 10% people of color, that is a high level of racial diversity. The UUA does not keep racial demographic records, so there is no accurate number of Black members in the denomination. You may be the only Black person in the pews, or one of very few. But being in the minority is a fact of many aspects of Black life, beyond UUism. We do this day in, day out. The UU church just needs to prove worth it for us to do with our Sundays.

Don't expect people to see you through a lens, darkly, nor through rose-colored glasses. While they may want to ignore your Blackness, they won’t, can’t, and truly, shouldn’t. Hopefully, they can keep it 100.¹ Most won't realize they view you through a racial lens, or through racism, but that is how they very well may treat you.

Truthfully, UU congregational consultants often report UU congregants are conflict-avoidant and in denial about racism,² as are many white people. They may become defensive if you bring up race. Ridding yourself of this expectation that white UUs really know what they are doing when it comes to being anti-racist³ will improve your survivability. (Some do and will surprise you, but to quote poet and author Alice Walker, let’s “live frugally on surprise”!)

Here’s the good news. Most UUs welcome you to the congregation with genuine care. They will extend you a warm welcome during the service, after the service, and throughout coffee hour. People will smile and extend their hands to you sincerely. It’s up to you, to some extent, what happens next.

Some folks may be courteous but keep at arm’s length when they meet you for the first time. They're trying to check you out and do the church thing of being friendly. You should feel wary when people approach you too enthusiastically, aggressively, or without boundaries. Today's culture calls that “over sharing.” They are likely not aware that your status as a racial minority in their midst is fueling their over-enthusiasm. Help them bring the energy down to a nice even keel if you’re able. It truly is not unusual to meet people after services and get into a deep conversation if you hit it off.

Being sincere and down-to-earth opens the door to genuine rapport. Go for it if you feel comfortable. I know introverts will find this daunting. Give it your best shot, anyway. When you share your life with people, you open a door and encourage them to return the favor. We need more relating in UUism.

We also need more diversity. In most UU congregations, as noted at this chapter’s outset, you’ll be the only Black person or one of very few. You should get used to that. Or as you grow in the faith, become a good evangelist for UUism and bring your family and like-minded friends to join alongside you, if you think they’d be interested… and if they can make the transition.

Accepting nostalgic feelings

A funny thing happens when UUs of color gather at retreats or conferences. We find ourselves nostalgic for gospel-like elements of worship and begin singing the music we steered clear of on our way to becoming UUs. That music allows us to celebrate our Blackness in a safe space as it bubbles to the surface amid this UU context. The pop-up chorus is a subtle reminder of from whence we came. If we could have this in our home UU spaces, what a world it could be.

When I served in Durham, my colleague Sherman Logan, who serves at the UU church in Richmond, Virginia, preached for us. He came accompanied by his sister’s gospel choir, which sang at two services. That choir blew the roof off the church and had the congregation on their feet swaying to the music. That service spoke to the power of interfaith work to transform people’s hearts, minds, and perceptions of faith communities.

Know where your nostalgia comes from. I believe nostalgia starts with memories of satisfying Black church experiences that arise when Black UUs grow exhausted from bearing the pressures of being the only Black in a white church. The exhaustion triggers trauma responses for some. We all have trauma in our past. As our brains try to relieve that pain, we recall comforting memories. Without knowing it, we're longing for the good old days.

Navigating other cultural differences

Just to make things more complicated, sometimes the music sounds the same, but it’s the words that are different. Often UU hymnals will call on familiar melodies but change the words to better match most UUs’ beliefs.

And then there’s this. In UU spaces, people can show up too relaxed. UUs can act informally in services, and in meetings. This will put off Blacks accustomed to different behavior standards at church. In some UU churches, people speak out during worship as if they were at a picnic (while staying oddly silent during sermons). It’s not the Black church way. The culture may defy what you're accustomed to as a Black person in a church. Such differences in worship style can interfere with a good UU message or worship.

The white supremacy that lurks in UU spaces, as it does in most majority-white spaces, leads white UUs to expect Black UU to just adapt to UU congregational culture and normalize it. G...