The Confidence Cornerstone

A Woman's Guide to Fearless Leadership

Catherine Gates

• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781647464387
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Religione
• Index: Business

Have you felt the calling to leadership only to struggle with your ideas being heard?

Have you experienced the tension of trying to be the best employee, mother, wife, friend and church member only to be left feeling inadequate? If you feel isolated and confused about the mixed messages you hear and what the Bible actually says about the role of women in the workplace, you are not alone. The struggle for women is real and for Christian women it seems even more complex.

The Confidence Cornerstone will help you:

• Understand the real need for more women in leadership.
• Put a name to the obstacles you have faced.
• Discover practical, biblical solutions to experience a breakthrough in your leadership.
• Identify simple steps you can take to create supportive community.

You'll be encouraged to find your confidence in being the leader God created you to be and empowered to take steps toward fulfilling your God-given purpose.

PART 1
WOMEN LEADERS AND THE IMPACT OF CONFIDENCE

CHAPTER 1
WHY WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

“No country can ever truly flourish if it stifles the potential of its women and deprives itself of the contributions of half of its citizens.”

—Michelle Obama1

The executive team was assembled to decide what benefits would make it into the budget and what would not. Well-baby care was one of the options up for consideration. The CEO wanted to ensure he heard from the four women in the room in addition to the roughly 14 men—starting with Celia. Celia was the first woman to hold the title of Executive Vice President at the company in 2000. Even in her position, it took courage to speak up when her perspective was 180 degrees different from the men in the room.

Celia shared her personal story of her husband’s experience when he took their daughter to the pediatrician and discovered immunizations were not covered by the company health care plan. “My husband was embarrassed and insisted we could afford the vaccinations, so she was immunized … But in his mind, he had been humiliated and couldn’t believe that immunizations weren’t covered.”2 Celia didn’t want other families to go through the same experience and recommended they include well-baby care as part of the benefits package. The other women had similar stories and supported Celia’s recommendation. Celia emphasized that including this benefit was important for attracting and retaining talent who had families.

The company started providing well-baby care as a benefit that year because the women spoke up. Those women represented the minority in the room but spoke for the majority of associates. For Celia, that moment showed her that her voice was critical.

Mothers’ Centers Shed Light on the Need

After I heard Celia’s story at her book signing for Gracious and Strong it really stuck with me. Her story serves as an important reminder that women need to have a place at the table and a voice in leadership.

The urgency around having more women in leadership and the deficit we face of women in those critical seats really hit me when I joined the National Association of Mothers’ Centers (NAMC) in May 2007 (coincidentally, also the month my mother turned 70). The mission of the NAMC was to help mothers connect with other mothers to access the support women need when they enter the season of raising children. Having come from a broken family, I was excited to work for an organization that provided much needed support with the potential to strengthen the entire family. In my mind, it was one powerful strategy to increase the chances that children could experience a supportive, loving and stable upbringing so they could be set up to reach more of their full potential in life.

In addition to helping women establish Mothers’ Centers across the country, the NAMC organized an annual Work-Life Conference on Long Island where experts in the fields of employment law, human resources, leadership and corporate culture shared strategies for and the benefits of providing better work-life balance for employees. Attendees were equipped to create corporate policies and practices to afford employees the support they needed to care for children, elderly parents and other family members who needed care. Topics also included the importance of making self-care a priority and guarding against workaholism. While it was only held on Long Island, the interest and need nationally was starkly evident.

During that time, I became painfully aware of what was needed, and still is today—a greater balance of representation from both women and men in government, in corporate leadership and in leadership in general. Why? Because women bring an important perspective to the executive table, to public policy making and to corporate policy and business decisions, as well as what is needed to support our communities. Women have a greater understanding of the needs of employees with respect to taking care of their families and themselves. It’s a perspective that often doesn’t rise to the top in the thinking of many men. And both perspectives are important for the most holistic and successful approach to running government, businesses and society in general. No matter how much technology advances, success still depends on people, and the greatest success we will see is when men AND women to work together.

The Ongoing Problem

For women, being treated like second-class citizens has been an all-too-common experience. Women have mostly been seen as primarily child-bearers and homemakers for hundreds of years. Even when women entered the workforce in greater numbers, the emphasis for women was on positions in which they taught children, or performed basic support tasks like typing, filing and otherwise assisting those in leadership roles. While we can list the names of many women who have broken that mold, we still have a long way to go before women are seen and even think of themselves as being fully capable and critical contributors to the highest levels of leadership.

In the book The Confidence Code,3 the authors highlight several signs of great progress for women’s economic empowerment: women control more than 80% of the U.S. consumer spending; women earn more college and graduate degrees than men do; women comprise half of the workforce in the U.S. and are quickly closing the gap in middle management.

Yet the gap between the genders is still significant at the top of organizations. In fact, according to the McKinsey report Women in the Workplace 2018,4 out of the companies surveyed, 77% of C-level positions were held by men, and 23% by women. The numbers were the same for the Senior VP roles. VP roles were held by 71% men, 29% women. And women still make about $.79 to a man’s dollar on average, even though more women are starting to negotiate for higher salaries.

Women hold significantly fewer of the senior executive roles that carry the most influence and weight in creating culture, determining strategies and creating opportunities for others. While men are more likely to emerge as the leader in groups, women are more likely to demonstrate transformational leadership styles. Yet women are perceived as less effective overall—even when they are more effective than men.

Even with all of the passionate deliberation, pointed articles, and valiant efforts of those who have championed the fight for gender equality, women are still sorely underrepresented in every area of leadership.

Limited Strategies

Too often, those who are working for change are trying to force a new way of thinking on people by going to extremes. Fighting wrong thinking and ideas by taking an angry, rebellious, “we’ll push our way in” approach is bound to leave casualties behind. Among those casualties are the very women who change is supposed to be helping. For example, the fear of scarcity is common among women—the idea there is only room for one woman at the top so you either need to fight for the coveted spot or resign yourself to a lower rung.

The more you try to force change, the stronger the resistance will be. I heard someone make the comment that some men flinch at the insistence that women’s voices are heard because it triggers a fear that their voices would then be overshadowed. That is certainly not the idea. We need both! As long as we continue to hold beliefs that we have to show who is better, more valuable, more important based on gender or ethnicity, some group is going to be left holding the short end of the stick. Someone is going to be marginalized, relegated to second-class and held back from making their fullest contribution. It doesn’t have to be that way.

We can’t effect positive change without addressing the core beliefs that led to the problem in the first place. If you don’t change the underlying structures that have held women back to begin with, the chances of them succeeding even if they are able to move up are very low. There are beliefs and conversations related to women’s roles in our culture that have been reinforced for centuries. Those beliefs need to be called out, addressed and shifted. All of that takes open discussion and intentional action. You can’t just open doors and expect the rest to fall into its proper place. It takes ongoing work and perseverance. We need greater understanding and cooperation between men and women. We need to change the conversation.

Why Women

If we go back to Genesis, it says that God created man and woman in his image; male and female, He created them (Genesis 1:27). He formed woman by taking a part out of Adam’s side and declared they would be of one flesh. God designed us to walk side-by-side with one another. To help one another. To complete each other. To experience unity with one another. Together. Not apart. Valuing both equally. Not one over the other.

Putting aside the marriage side of the relationship (which also requires work) men and women were designed to work together. When we each use the unique gifts God blessed us with collaboratively, we can do great things. When we compete with one another, when we judge one as better than the other, when we put each other down, we create division where unity was intended. We diminish what’s possible and damage what God designed and declared to be “very good.”

Every single person is created in God’s image for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10). So, what does that mean for our culture? How should it influence who is in leadership in our country, our companies, and our communities? Regardless of the world’s definition of status and hierarchy, no one’s purpose is better than or less important than another’s purpose. The contributions men have to make are not more important than the contributions God designed women to make, or vice versa. While each of us were designed with a purpose, we were also designed to partner with God in that purpose. He gives us a part to play, for sure. But God is the One who does the heavy lifting.

And He won’t do all He has planned without our participation. He wants us to play. He wants to invite us all into His projects. Women and men—men and women. All of us playing our part according to His will and His ways.

Men and Women are Designed to Be Different For a Purpose

While I’m going to generalize a bit here, the fact of the matter is that given a room full of men, the decisions made will tend to favor what is good for the bottom line and is perceived to be the most strategic. Include women in the conversation, and those decisions will generally be more likely to take into consideration the people, relationships and...