Clergy Burnout, Revised and Expanded

Surviving in Turbulent Times

Fred Lehr

• Publisher: Fortress Press
• Year: 2022
• Print ISBN: 9781506474304
• eBook ISBN: 9781506474311
• Edition: 2
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

In Clergy Burnout: Surviving in Turbulent Times, Revised and Expanded, Fred Lehr explores the nature and practice of clergy codependence. In short, insightful, and easily accessible chapters filled with many examples and stories from his own life and the lives of those he has counseled, Lehr identifies the typical forms codependence takes in the life and ministry of clergy.

These forms include the chief enabler, who keeps things functioning; the scapegoat, on whom everything that goes wrong is blamed; the hero, the example, the pure and righteous one; the lost child, whom no one really knows or cares about; the rescuer, who saves the day, fixes the problem, makes everything all right again; and the mascot, the cheerleader, the one who offers comic relief, brings down the tension level after a heated discussion.

With a new preface, Lehr places the current challenges of ministry in the context of broader cultural shifts. The book concludes with a new chapter, Lehr's hard-won and carefully distilled words of wisdom for those who serve in turbulent times.

Part One

Pastors in Pain

1

Painful Pastoring

Every denomination has annual judicatory meetings where pastors and lay leaders gather to carry out the business of the church. Among Lutherans like myself, these gatherings are called synod assemblies. Yet one such assembly, which I remember quite well, came to be known as the “Pain Assembly.” During the course of our meetings, pastor after pastor went to the microphone and expressed “pain” in the practice of ministry. That is to say, the very practice of parish ministry had become painful for them. And these were not the unsophisticated rookies; they were mostly the seasoned veterans of our church. But they were also veterans of a struggle to find a way to serve the church without all that pain, a pain of which they lacked any significant understanding as to its source or its course. This parade of suffering clergy was asking for help: Could someone—anyone—help them find relief?

For eight years, I watched another parade of pastors in pain come through the Church Renewal Center, a specialized treatment program designed exclusively for church professionals, at Good Shepherd Rehabilitation Hospital in Allentown, Pennsylvania. All these pastors were engaged in an all-too-familiar struggle: to serve faithfully without losing their minds, their families, and even their souls. It was a struggle I knew well from my own thirty-plus years in ministry, most of that spent in a local parish. Over time, I came to recognize that what got these clergy rewarded in their ministries was also the very thing that was wrecking their personal, spiritual, and family lives. After all, congregations love those who just can’t say no. Congregations applaud those who never take a day off, who “labor for the Lord” endlessly. What heroes and heroines they are! How we admire their dedication! Or is it their disease?

Signs of Trouble

The signs of trouble among our clergy have been with us for some time and show no indication of abating. A study conducted by Fuller Theological Seminary in the late 1980s uncovered the following:

• 90 percent of pastors work more than 46 hours per week.
• 80 percent believe that pastoral ministry is affecting their families negatively.
• 33 percent say that “Being in ministry is clearly a hazard to my family.”
• 75 percent have reported a significant crisis due to stress at least once in their ministry.
• 50 percent felt unable to meet the needs of the ministry.
• 90 percent felt they were not adequately trained to cope with the ministry demands placed upon them.
• 40 percent reported at least one serious conflict with at least one parishioner at least once a month.
• 70 percent of pastors do not have someone they would consider a close friend.
• 37 percent admitted having been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in their congregation.
• 70 percent have a lower self-image after they have been in pastoral ministry than when they started.1

In 1994, Michael Lowe Morris and Priscilla White Blanton published an article entitled “The Influence of Work-Related Stressors on Clergy Husbands and Their Wives,” in which they stated,

• Clergy rank in the top 10 percent of the population in terms of education, but rank 325th out of 432 occupations in terms of salary.
• Clergy families lack adequate quality time together, thus eroding family identity and cohesion.
• Boundary ambiguity by the clergy family system produces problematic concerns regarding privacy and triangulation.
• Clergy are described as being in the “holy crossfire,” as the clergyperson and his/her family attempt to juggle the expectations of self, family, congregation, denomination, and God.2

More recently, a national survey of more than 2,500 religious leaders conducted in 2001 by Pulpit and Pew, a research project on pastoral leadership based at Duke Divinity School, found that 10 percent of those surveyed reported being depressed—about the same as the general population—while 40 percent said they were depressed at times or worn out “some or most of the time.” This study also discovered other serious health problems among these leaders, including the astounding statistic that 76 percent of clergy were either overweight or obese compared to 61 percent of the general population. These findings were supported by a survey of Lutheran ministers that reported that 68 percent were overweight or obese, while 16 percent of male pastors and 24 percent of female pastors complained of problems with depression. Evangelical Lutheran Church in America data indicate that 75 percent of clergy work more than fifty hours per week.3

All of this does not exceed my own experience. In my thirty years of parish ministry, I had a terrible time saying no to my parishioners. I loved it when they needed me. After all, I was there to do God’s work; how could I turn them down? Or so I told myself. In reality, it exhausted me, and I hated constantly being caught between my family and my congregation. I found myself falling helplessly into what we call burnout. Nevertheless, I pushed and pushed to be the perfect pastor. I kept annual statistics. Each year had to be better than the one before. More home calls, more hospital calls, more pastoral counseling—I was driven. At no time could I declare, “This is enough.” I had no concept of “enough.” Of course, I could not control how many people got sick and went to the hospital. Nor could I control how many people came for pastoral counseling. But I kept pushing just the same. Do more. Be more. Be that perfect pastor. Someday, you just might make it.

Clergy Burnout: A Scenario

Perhaps a brief scenario—in which I depict a church professional who represents a compilation derived from clients I knew at the Church Renewal Center as well as other clergy colleagues—will paint a more complete picture of a pastor hurtling headlong into burnout. It is at once no one particular person’s story, yet it is nearly every pastor’s story:

It’s morning. Early morning. Too early in the morning. I must rise and face the day. Yes, I know, Lord, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it . . .” and all of that. Tell you what, Lord: you rejoice in it and then fill me in later. I’m going back to bed.

No, I’m not. Just kidding. Got to rise. Oh Lord, help me make it through the day. What will this day have in store for me? And will my to-do list ever get done?

The kids. Are they up yet? Are they getting ready for school? And my dear wife, what a blessing she is. How is she doing with her morning preparations? Off to work she goes. Kiss her good-bye. Tell her I love her. God be with her.

Get the kids fed and ready for school. The bus is coming. Kiss them good-bye. Tell them I love them. God be with them.

Now for me. Shall I take the time to exercise? I really ought to exercise—my blood pressure and my cholesterol and all. But if I take the time for that, then I will get to the office later, and I’ve just too much to do today. So I’ll just skip the exercising today. Like too many days. I ought to take better care of myself. Maybe tomorrow? Washed. Shaved. Dressed. Quick breakfast. Not nutritious, but it will do. Off to the church early, before people know I’m there. I’ve got to start work on Sunday’s sermon. And then there’s my column for the newsletter—overdue! The secretary will be on my back for that. And she should be. My tardiness only throws her off schedule. So I better get that done.

Email. How many emails? Twenty? Oh no—do I take the time to deal with all of that? And the mail, now piled high on my desk; if I don’t go through at least some of that, it will suffocate me. Hope I can get some of this done before the phone rings. Too late. They found me. Hello. Oh, Mabel, how are you? Oh my, the hospital? How is your husband? Surgery? Okay. What time? When do they expect him out of recovery? This afternoon? I’ll be by for sure. See you later. Mabel, you and Henry are in my prayers. Take care. Any time. Bye.

Lord, look after Henry and Mabel. They need your help.

Let’s see, now, where was I? Yes, Jane. Yes, I know. The newsletter. I’ll get to it today. I promise.

Lord, help me get to the newsletter!

George, how are you? Good to see you. Interrupting me? No, that’s fine. Come in. What can I do for you?

The kids in the gym—yes. Now what? Broke what? Not again. Well, I guess we’ll just have to fix it. George, what can I do? If we don’t let them in the gym, then they’ll just be out on the streets and get into trouble. I know. We need more supervision for the kids while they’re in the gym. I’m working on it, George. In the meantime, let’s just do our best. Okay? Thanks for stopping by. Any time.

Newsletter! [phone] Hello. Helen, how are you? The yard sale this weekend—yes. What? Not enough volunteers. That’s a problem. What do you want to do? You want me to call people and recruit more volunteers? Okay, I can do that. How many more do you need? Ten?! Really? How about three? Can you make it if I get you three more volunteers? Good. I’ll do my best. Thanks for calling. Any time. Bye.

Newsletter! Lord, what do I say? I’ve probably said it all a long time ago. What do they need to hear that they haven’t already heard a dozen times? How can I make it fresh and new after all these years? It’s that same, wonderful message—our hope is in the Lord. How many ways can I say that? Lord, have mercy . . .

Hey, John [the sexton]! George says there’s a mess in the gym. Can you go and check it out? George may need some help. And cool it on the kids always breaking something. Tell George we’re doing our best. Okay? Thanks.

Newsletter!! Maybe I’ll work on the sermon for a while? It may inspire me. What are the lessons for this Sunday? Oh no, not those again—fire and damnation. I can’t say all that negative, judgmental stuff from the pulpit; it only upsets the people. They always want a kind and gentle message that will lift their spirits and make them feel good. Who wants to hear about their sinfulness? They need to hear that. You can’t cure what you refuse to diagnose. If we won’t face our sins, we’ll never overcome them. But if I tell it to them straight, I’ll only get complaints. Been there, done that, no thanks. So what will I do with these texts? Maybe I’ll do the newsletter now instead.

Newsletter!! Let’s see . . . [phone] Hello. Jim, how’s it going? Yes. The youth group. The retreat in a few weeks, yes. Not enough youth have signed up. Well, you know they always wait till the last minute. But you need to plan the meals and the transportation. I know, it’s a problem. What can I do? Can I call all the families and encourage the youth to come? Gee, can’t you do that? More will come if I call them? I see your point. I guess so. What’s your deadline? Next Sunday. Okay, I’ll try to call all the families by next Sunday. Thanks. Any time. Bye.

Volunteers for the yard sale. Youth for the retreat. Time, Lord.

I need more time.

What, Jane? The newsletter. Yeah, sure, almost done. [I lie.]

Newsletter!! Well, I’ll talk about our Sunday school and how proud I am of our teachers who give so much of themselves to the children. That’s always a winner. But I did that just three months ago. Can’t do that again already. Maybe the altar guild. That’s it. I’ll write a big thank-you for the good work of the altar guild.

Here, Jane. My column for the newsletter. Yes, I know, it’s late. And that throws you off your schedule. Sorry. I’ll try to do better. [phone] Hello. Betty, how are you? Your mother? What’s up?

She fell. Again? How is she? Where is she? At home. Well, I’ll try to stop by and see her. Is there a good time of day? This afternoon. Sure. Tell her I’ll be there. Okay. Thanks. Any time. Bye.

What time is it? Noon already? Where did the morning go? Let’s see, got to see Henry in the hospital. That’s across town.

John is in the hospital too. But that’s a different hospital. So I need to swing by there. Then there’s Betty’s mom. Where do they live? Oh, way out there. Oh well, got to go.

What time do the kids get home from school? Got to try to get all these visits in before the kids get home. I hate it when no parent is there to greet them and they’re home all alone. They’re good kids, but it’s just not fair to them. Got to do better.

And there are our shut-ins. Can I squeeze in a visit to one of them while I’m out? Who haven’t I seen lately?

Tonight I have the stewardship committee meeting. What do I need to prepare for that? And tomorrow is the Bible study class. Got to get that ready too. I guess I’ll just have to skip the shut-in visit for today. Too much to do.

But I hate myself when I ignore the shut-ins. They can’t get out and be among people. They really appreciate my visits. They need that human interaction to keep them going. I feel guilty when I put them off. But what else can I do?

Well, I’d better get going. Maybe I’ll skip lunch? No, too hungry. I guess it’s fast food again. There goes the cholesterol and the blood pressure. Lord, you’ve got to help me here. I can’t do it all.

Home late in the afternoon. Apologize to the kids that I wasn’t there when they got home. Apologize to my wife that I have to eat a...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Preface to the Revised and Expanded Edition: It’s Time
• Acknowledgments
• Part One: Pastors in Pain
• Part Two: Hope and Healing
• Appendix 1: Personal Assessment
• Appendix 2: Study Guides
• Notes